


Dancing With Our Hands Tied

by kaybohls



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, College Student Rey (Star Wars), DameRey, Definitely Maybe AU, Denial of Feelings, Divorce, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gift Fic, I Ship It, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Keep It Secret, Lost Love, Love Story Mystery, Marriage Proposal, Meet-Cute, Mild S&M, Mistakes, Multiple Pairings, Mystery, New York City, One Night Stands, Parenthood, Platonic Soulmates, Post-Divorce, Reylo - Freeform, Reyux, Romantic Friendship, Romantic Soulmates, Sex Talk, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Which Ship Will Win, brief mention of pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2020-05-20 22:15:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 70,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19385662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaybohls/pseuds/kaybohls
Summary: Rey Niima-(married name redacted), a thirtysomething, newly single mom living in New York, was in the middle of a divorce when her eight-year-old daughter, Hanna, asks her about her life before marriage - more specifically, how she met and fell in love with her father. Rey travels all the way back to the time before Snapchat and Tinder in 2004 to recount her relationships with the three most important men in her life. As she tells the story, Rey changes their names so that Hanna has to guess which man became Rey's husband - and Hanna's dad.





	1. Put It Into Words

**Author's Note:**

> For Becca. Thanks a lot. xoxo

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48139539726/in/dateposted-public/)

 

“Mama, what’s a clitoris?”

Rey coughed while she took a sip of her afternoon flat white, and could have sworn that espresso was now leaking out of her nose. She stopped abruptly on the busy New York sidewalk, just shy of the door to their Lennox Hill apartment building to look down quizzically at Hanna - who had a book cracked open in the palm of her little hands.

“W-what?”

The hazel-eyed little girl heaved a dramatic sigh, with a half pout, at her mother before sticking her nose back into her book.

“Never mind.”

The auspicious eight year old stayed suspiciously silent as the pair of them made their way into the lobby before she conjured another doozy of a question.

“How many times does a penis need to thrust into a vagina before it puts in the sperm?”

“Hanna Rose!” Rey hissed, as she lifted her eyes to awkwardly grin at an elderly couple that walked past them through the doorway, ignoring the not-so-subtle chuckles of their doorman. “Don’t say that!”

“Say what, penis?”

“Or thrust, or…or any of those words! Where in Maker’s name did you hear those?”

“Oh,” the little girl tucked a strand of her dark, curly hair behind her ear and looked down to the book she held cradled in her arms, lifting it up for Rey to see. Rey took the thin textbook in her hands and scanned over the cover, rolling her bottom lip between her teeth with a twitch of her eye as she tried to keep from blowing a maternal gasket.

“Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Sexual Lessons for Adolescents. What the fuck? Where did you get this??”

Hanna raised an eyebrow with a tiny grin.

“Reyana Charlotte, don’t say that,” she quipped with a shrug as her grin grew, “They gave it to us at school today. And let me tell you, Rey…I have some questions.”

Rey was stunned as her daughter tugged her by the hand and pulled her into the elevator, pushing the button to illuminate the number twenty-three on the panel inside.

Neither of them brought the subject up to the other for the next couple hours when Hanna disappeared straight down the short hallway to her room, hollering out a distant “homework!” before closing the door behind her.

Rey busied herself in her office for a little while, trying and failing to hammer out an article she was working on before giving up and writing a strongly worded email to the school district’s superintendent. With a sigh, she hit ‘send’ on the screen before leaning back in her chair with a heavy sigh and a roll of her eyes. If she was this furious about them teaching sex-ed to third graders, Hanna’s father would be beyond _LIVID_.

He was the sweetest man, especially with their girl – and Rey, too – but he was incredibly protective when it came to his girls…even after Rey was no longer his.

The divorce papers had been dropped by a messenger on her desk at the magazine only a few days prior, and had been burning a hole in Rey’s briefcase ever since. Even though she knew it was the right decision, Rey just hadn’t been ready to sign them and make everything officially official.

They sat across from each other in the kitchen, quietly eating their lo mein noodles as the dimming New York City light streamed in through the windows, setting the exposed brick ablaze with a symphony of crimson and gold. Rey watched Hanna as she masterfully slurped noodles from her chopsticks, grinning to herself when sauce splashed up onto her nose. Laughing softly, Rey’s heart swelled as she watched her daughter, aching just a little when she thought about how resilient Hanna had been in light of the recent separation.

Rey casually poked into the white takeout box in her hand, softly clearing her throat before broaching the taboo subject that Hanna had brought up on their way home from school.

“So…you said you had questions…” Rey cringed inwardly, shoving away the thought that this was way too soon to be having this conversation with her daughter, something she had always imagined having her husband by her side for, “What….what kind of questions do you have? Like, biologically speaking or…?”

Hanna scrunched up her face as she sucked another noodle into her mouth, sending another splash of sauce to lay amongst the freckles that dusted her nose.

“Ew, Mom, no. I’m good, and definitely not ready for *that* talk, I am way too young but-“

The little girl set her box of noodles down on the table and laid her chin onto the heels of her hands, while a forlorn look flitted across her delicate features.

“What is it?” Rey pressed.

“It’s just…Tobey Stevenson said that his older brother was an accident. How can he be an accident?”

Rey sighed, leaning forward on the table with her elbows.

“That’s complicated.”

“I mean…it’s not like they accidentally ran into each other on the sidewalk and made a baby, right?”

“No…the accident that he’s talking about, sweetheart, is that Tobey’s mom got pregnant.”

“If they didn’t want a baby…then how come they had sex?”

Rey let a heavy sigh whoosh past her lips as she reached up to rub circles against her temple.

_I’m not ready for this, I’m not ready for this, I’m not ready for this._

“That’s a really good question. I guess…I guess you could say that they were just practicing?”

Hanna’s brows creased together for a moment as she mulled over Rey’s carefully selected words, before her look of concern melted away into one of distress.

“Was I an accident?”

Rey’s heart sank, and her face melted into a wistful smile.

“Oh, sweetheart, _NO_. You were one hundred percent totally, completely on purpose. We knew exactly what we were getting into, and wanted you more than I could possibly begin to tell you.”

Hanna looked back down at her noodles, silently finishing off the box before getting up to dispose of the empty carton and wash her hands. She lifted the tap of the faucet, pressing her lips together as she stood deep in thought at the kitchen sink.

“I think you need to tell me the story of how you met my dad.”

Rey laughed softly, rising from her seat to join her daughter at the sink.

“Why do you say ‘my dad’ like that? Like I’ve never met him?”

“Well, now that you two are getting divorced, he’s not ours anymore, he’s just mine. So he’s _MY dad_.” Hanna shut the water off and propped her hands on her narrow hips, “So. Tell me how it happened. The _real_ story. Not the ‘Once upon a time, we met, and fell in love and got married and then we wished for a baby and the stork brought us you’ kind of crap.”

“Hanna…I don’t know.”

“Come oooon.” She whined, “It shouldn’t be _that_ long of a story, right? I mean…was there just the one guy, or were there a few contenders?”

Rey would have laughed if it had been happening to anyone else she knew, but this was different. It was her kid, and the story of how she came about was…complicated. As if she knew what her mother was thinking, Hanna came around the corner and wrapped her little arms around Rey’s waist to give her a firm hug.

“Look, I know that love isn’t like the fairytales.”

Rey reached down and hoisted Hanna into her arms, raising an eyebrow as she wrinkled her nose at her little girl with a laugh.

“Oh, do you now?”

“I do. It’s a fact,” Hanna nodded confidently, “I’m the smartest girl in all of third grade, and probably smarter than most of the fourth graders…at least the boys. I know all sorts of things.”

“Too many, I think.”

“Mom. It’s okay. I can handle it. What is it? Did you have another boyfriend before Daddy? Tell me the truth.”

Rey set her daughter back down on her feet, sucking in a deep breath as she mulled over the idea of telling the whole tale to her little girl.

“I had two serious boyfriends. Then some…other scattering of other guys that I dated along the way.”

Hanna’s mouth opened into a wide “oh” of shock, splaying out her small hand over her heart with a gasp.

“ _Mother_. Were you… _promiscuous_?”

The word rolled out of the eight-year-old’s mouth with a surprising ease that wouldn’t come the same way for some adults. Rey shook her head, and kept the depth of her pride to herself in that moment, squaring her shoulders to remind the girl that she, in fact, was the adult here – no matter how smart she was.

“Go brush your teeth.”

With one single sentence, Hanna went from somewhere at the edge of seventeen to the little girl she truly was, lighting up her freckled face with a wide, toothy grin that rivaled her mother’s before turning on her heel to skip down the hall to the bathroom.

Rey busied herself with putting away the leftovers and clearing out her emails before striding down the hallway to Hanna’s bedroom. She stepped into the white twinkle-light lit room, an easy smile spreading across her face when she spied her little girl waiting expectantly from the center of her white bed frame.

Rey sat down on the edge of the turquoise comforter, bouncing slightly as the mattress bent under her weight. She leaned towards the stack of books on the matching white nightstand and lifted Little Women from the stack.

“Shall we see what kind of shenanigans the March girls are getting up to tonight? Will Laurie go off to Harvard? Will Jo get published? Only time will tell as we explore tonight’s chapter!” Rey put on her best movie announcer voice as she held out the cover to Hanna excitedly.

Hanna narrowed her hazel eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

“You know what story I want.”

“Hanna….”

“I’m guessing you weren’t Daddy’s first girlfriend? Maybe he was the nerdy boy and you were the cool girl…or was it the other way around? Or maybe…” her eyes widened as she took a quick breath, before resuming the animated pace of her speaking, “You were friends for the longest time, and just when you were about to marry some other guy and his penis for your vagina…”

“Okay. Goodnight, Hanna.” Rey leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her freckled forehead and quickly strode to the door.

“….you realized that Daddy was the only one for you!”

“Bedtime!” Rey flipped off the overhead light, leaving only the white strands of Christmas lights to illuminate the lavender walls. Before she slid a single toe out of the doorway, Rey’s heart melted when she saw the disappointment on Hanna’s face.

“You still need to tell me the story of why you fell in love with him.”

Rey gave her a half smile and leaned a shoulder against the wooden frame of the door.

“It’s easy. I fell in love with him because he was smart and handsome and fun.”

Hanna looked skeptical.

“So, what? Now he’s dumb and ugly and dull?”

“No-“

Hanna shrugged like it was the simplest thing in the world.

“So, then I don’t see what the problem is.”

“That…that’s complicated, Hanna.”

The small girl sighed.

“Everything is complicated with you, Mom. I’m betting that if you told me the story, you might decide that it’s not as complicated as you think it is. That you just love him.”

Rey scrubbed her hands across her face, letting out a long groan before looking back at an expectant Hanna.

“I know that all of this has been impossibly hard for you, but what were you thinking is going to happen? That I’m going to tell you this whole story, and suddenly we won’t be getting a divorce and everything will go back to how it was? It doesn’t work that way, sweetheart. No matter how much we want it to.”

Hanna shrugged again.

“Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. I guess we’ll have to see, won’t we?”

“Hanna, no. It’s time for bed.”

“Mama, no…it’s time for you to tell me the story!”

“Hanna-“

“MOM.”

“Hanna….”

“I need to know!”

Hanna’s face melted into the deepest pout, one that sent Rey hurtling back to when she was only two years old, and her sweet little face could get them to say yes to almost anything. Rey stood her ground for as long as she could, stubbornly meeting Hanna’s unblinking face of pure dejection before finally giving in with a moan. She stepped forward and plopped onto the bed next to her.

“Fine, fine! I’m going to tell you the story, but this isn’t going to go the way you think. I’m not going to tell you who your dad is-“

“Excellent!”

“You’re going to have to figure that one out yourself.”

“Good. Bring it on.”

“And I’m changing all the names, then we will see just how smart you are, missy.”

Hanna leaned back into her pillows with a self-satisfied smile.

“This is perfect…like a fairytale-love story-riddle!”

“I thought you said that you knew that love wasn’t like a fairytale?” Rey pressed with an amused smile, “This story definitely isn’t one.”

Hanna watched her mother thoughtfully, her hazel eyes twinkling with every blink of her black eyelashes.

“I think you should let me be the judge of that,” she stated, matter-of-factly.

Rey leaned back on her hands, lifting an amused eyebrow.

“Okay, smartypants…do you want me to tell you this story or not?”

Hanna lifted her palms in a mock peace offering, burrowing back into her mountain of pillows. Rey waited, trying to suppress her laughter as her little girl situated every stray unicorn and teddy bear, finally lifting her eyes and breathing in a great lung-full of air.

“Okay…I’m ready.”

Rey leaned forward with her elbows on her knees, putting on her very best story-telling voice.

“Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away…before Twitter and Snapchat, and looong before the Kardashians had their empire…it was 2005 in a small town called Chicago, Illinois. There lived a young woman named Rey Niima. She had just arrived in this town to attend a prestigious university allllll the way from London, England, and was just about to meet a man that she was bound to fall deeply in love with…her college sweetheart. Let’s call him…”

“Kylo!”

Rey’s face split into a wide grin, reaching down to tickle Hanna’s sides through the comforter.

“Kylo, it is….They met, as so many people do...at a party.”


	2. Falling in Love at a Toga Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The silence between them was marvelously charged, her eyes completely focused on his mouth as he brought the cup to his utterly-kissable lips to take a long drink. His Adam’s apple dipped and his dark brows shot up into his hairline as he swallowed the mixture.
> 
> “That’s lethal.” Kylo chuckled, slowly lowering the cup back down to the granite. His gaze shifted back down to her as he lifted his hand to brush a thumb across her freckled face. He stepped forward to bring them a little closer together before gripping her chin beneath his thumb to lift her gaze to meet his. “I’m going to kiss you now. Is that okay?”
> 
> “I-I mean…” Rey breathlessly whimpered against the quiet echo of Sexy Back from the next room with a tiny shrug. “We _are_ married, aren’t we? I’d say a fair amount of kissing is allowed.”
> 
> “Good.” Kylo growled as his eyes shifted down to her mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi from 32,000 feet! I am on my way home from an amazing trip to NYC where I was lucky enough to see Burn This twice!! After a few days away, I am so excited to get home and get back to writing! I’ve got a whole brain-full of details about one of the most amazing cities in the world to weave into this story! 
> 
> I am beyond excited to keep this story going and share it with you all! Thank you so much for reading and leaving comments, I adore every single one of them!!!
> 
> A HUGE thank you to my amazing beta, MyJediLife for getting this bad boy all polished up!! I’d be lost without you!

Rey shouldered her way up the sidewalk that was teeming with students from every corner of Chicago University. As a recent transfer from Cambridge, she had only met a handful of classmates, but had spent most of her time alone studying and moving in with her new flatmate.

When she saw the bright pink piece of paper in the center of the bulletin board at the commonly frequented campus coffee shop - for a student-wide costume party being thrown by one of the fraternities - Rey thought it might be the best way to acquaint herself with the locals, and perhaps make some new friends.

Rey let her literary freak flag fly with her homemade costume to go along with the theme, _Figures From Mythology: Beyond the Toga Party._ She remembered laughing when she read the line, wondering how on earth so many different students would choose to interpret it.

A fan of the literary word herself – especially Greek mythology – Rey whipped out her sewing machine and stitched together something she was truly proud of, and hoped that it would help her make a good first impression. Her dress was made of long, draping white fabric that hung over her arm and was tied around the back of her neck with red and gold ribbon. The crimson wound around her waist in a pair of parallel lines that criss crossed at the base of her spine, leaving her back exposed. She managed to wind her hair into a voluminous trio of buns at the back of her head with red and gold flowers woven in and around her crown.

Rey was grateful for the balmy September air as she pressed through the crowd, bobbing her head to the sound of Usher and the summer hit that had stuck around long past classes going back into session.

She stepped up the front steps into Delta Gamma Phi, pushing her way past bedsheet wearing, drunken frat boys who clearly didn’t know how to pace themselves, muttering excuse me’s and pardon me’s like the good British girl she was.

_All these fools are sloshed…where the hell can I find myself a good drink so I can get knackered with them?_

Rey tapped on the shoulder of a guy who looked like he belonged, hollering out “Drinks?” as loudly as she could as Ludacris and Lil John sang “Yeah!” along with everyone in the house so loudly that it made her skin prickle and the foundation shake beneath her feet.

He turned around, and didn’t spare a second looking at her slowly from her toes to her face with a slow grin before answering and pointing over her shoulder.

“Kitchen!”

Most times, Rey wasn’t a fan of crowds, but she had to admit, this one felt special. She loved the vibe, and let it soak in and bring her into the fold. In it, she could be anyone she wanted…or maybe no one at all. Tonight, she was Persephone.

Pushing her way further into the house, Rey broke free from the dancing party-goers who threatened to pull her back in with every drop of the bass. A door closed behind her, and suddenly the world was a little quieter, leaving only a thumping in the background and a ringing in her ears.

Surprisingly, there was only one other person in the room, and Rey instantly felt his eyes on her as she stepped across the white tile to the island in the center of the kitchen that was littered with liquor bottles and red Solo cups.

Closing her fingers around one of the cups, Rey set it down onto the counter and lifted a bottle of tequila from the center. As she poured the clear liquid into the cup, Rey let her eyes flicker up to see just who was staring at her.

If the theme of the party had been Greek gods, this man had stepped directly from the pages of The Odyssey. His costume was simple enough, but effective, with black fabric wrapped around his waist and draped over his bare chest with a silver laurel wreath nestled in his long, dark hair.

Rey diverted her eyes when the corners of his mouth curved up into a lopsided grin, reaching out for a bottle of margarita mix, beginning to pour it into her cup. She tried to focus on making her drink, but couldn’t help but let her thoughts shift back to the man who was still silently staring at her from where he casually leaned against the wall opposite of her.

Her eyes shifted back up to him for a split second -or maybe it was longer - while her gaze lazily lingered on the hard curves of his pecs that stood out from beneath his black toga, because suddenly margarita mix was overflowing out of the plastic cup and onto the counter.

“Shit, fuck!” Rey startled herself, going into panic mode as she frantically looked for a towel.

“Here, let me.” A deep voice rang out as she felt him step up beside her at the counter. She felt his hand brush against the bare skin at the small of her back as he leaned against her to reach the spill she’d caused. Rey swallowed thickly as she turned her head to inspect his face now that he was so much closer than he was before.

A constellation of beauty marks dotted his porcelain skin, making a map of the stars that led straight to honeyed-bourbon eyes that twinkled as they met hers.

“See? Easy peasy.”

“Well done.” Rey murmured breathlessly, wishing that his hand would stay on her back forever.

“You know, sometimes I even impress myself. Kylo Ren, expert mess mopper.”

“That’s your name? It sounds made up…” Rey mused, lifting her red, plastic cup to take a nervous sip of her drink.

….

“It was made up. By me.” Hanna interjected with a giggle.

“Do you want me to tell you this story or not?” Rey questioned, crossing her arms over her chest as the freckle-faced little girl rapidly closed her mouth and wiggled back into the pile of stuffed animals on her bed. “That’s what I thought. Anyways…”

….

Kylo gave her a thoughtful look, passing over her question while he slowly lifted a mammoth hand to tuck a stray ribbon of her chestnut hair behind one of the flowers she’d woven into it.

“You know we’re meant to be, right?” Kylo rumbled, taking a solid step closer to her along the granite countertop. Rey let out a quiet gasp when the bare skin of his chest brushed up against her arm when he boldly closed the distance between them. She chewed on her bottom lip while she laggardly blinked up at him, her hands shaking from avoiding the urge to reach out and brush her fingers across his chiseled torso.

“You don’t say…”

“The Fates said it would be so.” Kylo pressed, the gravelly sound of his voice sending an electrifying shiver down her arms to the ends of her fingers.

“We’ve only just met…you don’t even know my name.” Rey murmured, trying desperately to keep her eyes on her drink and off the deliciously sexy man that she knew would only cause her trouble…even if it would be the best kind.

“Sure I do.” Kylo shrugged with a cocky, crooked smile pulling at the corners of his mouth as he leaned down to brush his plush lips against the curve of her ear, “I know my soulmate when I see her… Persephone.”

Rey let out a breathless laugh as she leaned away from him to meet his smile with her own.

“How did you know?”

Kylo offered up a shrug that caused the black fabric that was draped over his shoulder to slip down to his elbow, leaving his entire torso exposed for Rey to see. She swallowed thickly, averting her gaze to look into his eyes that glittered down at her with amusement.

“What, you don’t recognize your own husband? Persephone, I’m positively hurt…” Kylo stepped forward once more as he reached to leisurely pull the black fabric back up over the long cords of firm muscle in his arms. “Please don’t tell me that I made you Queen of the Underworld for nothing.”

“Ahhh, Hades – my darling. Please pardon my foolishness for thinking that your name was Kylo.” Rey grinned, holding back her growing smile by capturing her lip between her teeth.

….

“Oh, _blegh._ That is so cheesy, Mom.”

“You had to be there, Hanna. Now hush.”

….

Kylo lifted his hand and slowly pulled the red Solo cup from her grip. She wanted to protest as the tequila-heavy beverage left her fingers since they were pretty much the only thing keeping her from inappropriately touching a stranger, but found herself completely ensnared by the glint in his warm-honey colored eyes.

The silence between them was marvelously charged, her eyes completely focused on his mouth as he brought the cup to his utterly-kissable lips to take a long drink. His Adam’s apple dipped and his dark brows shot up into his hairline as he swallowed the mixture.

“That’s lethal.” Kylo chuckled, slowly lowering the cup back down to the granite. His gaze shifted back down to her as he lifted his hand to brush a thumb across her freckled face. He stepped forward to bring them a little closer together before gripping her chin beneath his thumb to lift her gaze to meet his. “I’m going to kiss you now. Is that okay?”

“I-I mean…” Rey breathlessly whimpered against the quiet echo of Sexy Back from the next room with a tiny shrug. “We _are_ married, aren’t we? I’d say a fair amount of kissing is allowed.”

“Good.” Kylo growled as his eyes shifted down to her mouth as he slowly leaned forward to bring his lips to hers.

Rey’s mind ran a mile a minute, and Kylo’s movements felt like slow motion as she breathlessly waited for the moment that he’d make contact. His breath made the baby hairs that framed her face flutter like a breeze on a summer night, while the butterflies in her stomach threatened to make her take flight.

They stared at each other for an odd moment, like Kylo was waiting for her to make the last move – to seal the deal. Rey reached up on the tips of her toes, tentatively pressing her lips against his. She let her fingers settle against his bare chest as she pulled away for a second, reaching up with her free hand to trail a ribbon of his obsidian locks through her fingers.

The kiss was gentle and almost elementary, but it was the foundation of the furious fire that was about to ignite. Kylo’s face was burning with an insatiable hunger as he leisurely ran his tongue over his bottom lip to commit the taste of her to memory.

Rey barely had time to take a shaky breath before he caged his fingers in her hair and hungrily pulled her mouth back to his – devouring the instantaneous whimper that fell from her lips. He reached down and snaked a strong arm around the bare skin at her back, pulling her up against him while his mouth moved hungrily against hers. He ran his tongue along the seam of her mouth, wordlessly asking permission for further entry…to be closer, to taste more of her.

Rey practically melted into him as his arm pulled her tighter, consuming the quiet gasps that he pulled from her over and over as he raked his mouth down the line of her throat and back to her mouth over and over.

She knew she’d only just met this man, and it was more than likely a terrible, no – the worst idea - to be kissing a stranger in an alien house in a foreign country, but Rey couldn’t care less. All that mattered to her at that moment was the feeling of his large hands roaming up and down her bare back and the electrifying sensation they left in their wake.

Kylo pulled away in a flash, leaving Rey breathless and her lips bruised, but more than ready for whatever else he could possibly have up his sleeve…err…toga with the amount of talent he’d shown her in a mere kiss. Her breathing was shaky and shallow as he lifted a hand and tucked a stray chestnut hair behind her ear. Rey leaned into his touch, practically drunk from the feeling of his touch instead of the tequila, blinking up at him as he worked his jaw back and forth with a small smile.

“Come with me.”

Kylo tangled his fingers in hers and pulled her towards the door. Rey paused for only a moment, a confused grin playing on her dimpled cheeks.

“Where are we going?” She pressed, “What are we going to do?”

Kylo let out a deep sigh as he looked over her with an exhilarating stare.

“Persephone, my darling…in order to do exactly what I want to do to you…with you…I need to get to know you a little bit better. Would you walk with me?”

Rey’s heart thumped wildly in her ribcage as she captured her lip between her teeth, deciding right then and there that it was high time to live the adventure that life was laying out before her. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and followed him through the doorway and into the thumping music.

Rey followed blindly behind him, returning the grin he gave her from over his shoulder with a baffled one of her own as he towed her through the churning crowd of drunken college students. Rey strained to hear the words that Kylo mouthed at her with a crooked smile against the blaring music that got the toga party to crank it up a notch just short of Animal House.

They stumbled out onto the front porch, the massive letters from the Greek alphabet emblazoned across the archway that Rey suddenly found them under. As soon as they burst out into the night air, a sheet of goosebumps covered her flesh like a blanket from the cool air.

Kylo sauntered forward ahead of her in long-loping strides, moving slowly between the pools of light coming from the street lights – his large feet nearly silent against the damp street that was still wet from an early evening rain. Rey watched him in wild wonder, slowly disappearing as he stepped into the darkness, reappearing under the next golden circle on the ground.

He stopped under his spotlight, turning on his heel to hold out his hand to her. Looking at her expectantly, his low baritone rang out into the night air, seamlessly blending in with the thumping bass coming from Delta Gamma Phi like a distant rumble of thunder during a summer storm.

“Join me.”

Kylo’s offer hung in the cool night air between them, and Rey could scarcely hold a single thought as her brain went a hundred million different directions. She could picture herself taking his hand and letting him lead her along on a journey of discovery. Rey could let herself soak up of the feeling she knew would be there – an electrifying tingle that would slowly course its way up her arm and cross her entire body from where his flesh touched hers.

It felt like the most natural thing in the world when Rey walked across the shining pavement and placed an unwavering palm into his proffered hand, tangling her fingers between his as they set off down the street in the brisk night air.

The pair of them made several slow circuits of the block – how many, Rey couldn’t recall. The first few times around, the conversation was tentative and almost shy as they took turns asking basic questions. Both of them were feeling a little shyer outside of the safety net of a fraternity kitchen and a crowded dance floor just outside the door. Here, there was only the two of them, the distant sound of the traffic of Lake Shore Drive, and the silver sliver of moonlight that shone down upon them. There were no pretenses and nowhere to hide – only Kylo and Rey.

She learned that he attended the University and was pursuing a masters in English – the same department as hers. He had been a member of the fraternity and didn’t usually make a habit of attending drunken frat boy parties. He had gone tonight by chance and happily found out that it was by pure happenstance that he met her.

“I don’t make a habit of kissing beautiful women whose name I don’t know, either.”

Rey shared with him all about how she landed a scholarship to Cambridge, how she attained the transfer to Chicago, and how she was adjusting to life in America. She buoyantly told him about her plans to write for a big-time magazine one day, and that she couldn’t wait to find out where her road would take her.

On the millionth lap, Kylo finally knew her name and they shared about their families – his close-knit one, and her lack thereof. He had squeezed her hand when she offhandedly mentioned that her hope her entire life was that one day, she’d make her own and have a daughter that she’d love with everything she wished for in a mother.

At the end of their final lap, now teetering on the edge of infinity, Rey peered up at him through her lashes on the sidewalk of Delta Gamma Phi, letting out a long sigh as she anxiously captured her lip between her teeth.

“So.” Rey hummed.

“So,” Kylo answered.

“What now, Hades? Aren’t you going to lead me down into the underworld?”

Kylo slowly leaned down and placed a kiss that stopped every anxious thought that was running through her mind dead in their tracks. They both knew that in that instant, they may have found their other half, and that fate had dealt them a dangerous hand.

Drunk on the feeling of his kiss, Rey followed him with her fingers tangled in his down a few blocks to his apartment. They tumbled in the door and instantly lost themselves to the other – a tangled mass of limbs and lips as Kylo reached around to pull the crimson ribbon from around her waist, letting the gossamer fabric flutter to the floor in a heap around her feet.

Rey let out a whimper when his long fingers slowly trailed their way up her bare flesh, skirting across the curve of her breast. Her lips parted as he stepped closer to her, and she shivered when the heat from his skin radiated onto hers, sending a shiver down to her toes as she waited with baited breath for whatever may come next.

Kylo devoured her with his eyes, lingering on her every freckle as he drew his hand up to her hair and slowly pulled a crimson and gold flower from the crown of her head. He brought it to his nose and inhaled deeply while his gaze lingered on her eyes.

Rey melted into his touch when his hand drifted down and cupped the line of her jaw.

“Gods, you’re beautiful.”

Rey let out an airy moan when Kylo leaned down, and she felt his hot breath on her neck, followed by the tender brush of his plush lips. With each kiss, any ounce of skepticism crumbled away. Her hands fell down his back, taking the thin strip of fabric of his toga - and all previous thoughts she had - down with them. Now she only had one desire…one wish, and she knew it was only a matter of time before the combined heat between them spontaneously combusted.

Kylo’s lips left a burning trail down the curve of her neck along every inch that he made contact with. His long fingers tangled in her chestnut hair as his mouth wandered up to meet hers, and their kisses became more insistent and urgent. His arms snaked around her waist and pulled her against his bare chest as he continued to pepper every single bit of her golden, freckled flesh with the sweet caresses of his mouth.

The tip of his long nose wandered further, grazing the lobe of her ear before he hungrily growled:

“Come with me, Persephone.”

Without a second to think or reply, Kylo hoisted her up into his strong arms - as if she were nothing more than a ragdoll – whisking her down the darkened hallways and into his bedroom. They found themselves drawn in like bees to a summer meadow, like addicts to their drug of choice. With one more touch, it was all over and their intoxication was instantaneous. Reveling in the power and strength that he radiated, Rey knew that whatever Kylo wanted to do is what they would do, and there wasn’t anything she could do to stop him – and she knew she wouldn’t want to. The smell of him, all spices, smoke, and earth sent her into a heady trance as they fell into bed.

They remained caught up in the reverent worship of each other’s bodies until the early morning hours when finally, their insatiable hunger momentarily quieted, she fell into his arms and drifted away on the delirious cloud that Kylo had lovingly placed her on. Her mind wandered over and over to the feeling of his mouth as they mapped every inch of her skin, the way his hand tangled in her hair as they heatedly moved their bodies together and he brought her to completion over and over.

….

“Uh, Mom?”

Rey brought her mind back down from the ceiling, blinking slowly down at an expectant Hanna - who was less than patiently waiting for her mother to come back to the present. Rey cleared her throat loudly and carded her fingers through her hair.

“Mmm?”

“You said something about kissing and then you sorta just…drifted away and got quiet for a second. Now your face is all red…are you okay?”

Rey swallowed thickly and let out an uncomfortable laugh.

“Oh darling, yes…I’m fine. _I’m great._ Anyways…where was I?”

“Kylo Ren.” The little girl informed her before her hazel eyes lit up excitedly, “Hold on!”

Hanna bounced out from her pile of unicorn plushies and bounded over to her desk, coming back with a trio of crayons, a slip of paper and a large book to use as a desk. Rey watched her with an amused smile as she settled back into her bed and set her focus on the piece of paper. With a red crayon, Hanna pressed the colored wax to the paper with her tongue sticking out as she kept herself laser-focused as she wrote out a name.

“What are you doing there, Sweetheart?” Rey inquired, trying to look over and see what her little girl had done.

Hanna lifted the paper and showed Rey the trio of columns she’d made, with the name _KYLO REN_ emblazoned in the first.

“For scientific purposes. I need to make an educated decision once you have given me all the evidence.” Hanna nodded matter-of-factly.

“Are you ready for me to keep going?” Rey questioned with a sly smile.

“I guess.”

“You guess?” Rey chuckled. “Care to explain?”

Hanna offered up a tiny shrug as she continued to write down Kylo’s attributes she’d heard so far.

“You said that you fell in love, but I’m not convinced he was the one.” The eight-year-old deadpanned.

“Why not?”

“Please. Everyone knows that the girl never _ever_ ends up with the boy at the start of the story. The prince she lives happily ever after with doesn’t come until later.” Hanna nodded with an all-knowing smile.

“Mmhmm, well, darling…this is _my_ story, and I think it would be best if you’d hush and just wait for the end before you start making any guesses.” Rey couldn’t help but laugh as she reached down to tickle the bottoms of Hanna’s feet through the turquoise blankets before continuing on with her tale. 

….

 

When she opened her eyes the next morning, Rey was twisted up into a toga of a different sort with the black sheets she slept in. The morning light streamed through the curtains, lending an orange glow to her own delicious afterglow as she lazily stretched her arms over her head. Her thoughts drifted off to the night before, when Kylo and she stayed intertwined together until the early morning hours.

A Cheshire cat grin spread across her face as she rolled to her side, eager to pick up where they had left off only a couple hours before. Disappointment quickly made her smile fade away when she saw that the bed next to her was empty - with the exception of a single flower on the pillow beside her that had been in her hair the night before.

Grasping the stem between her fingers, Rey brought the crimson bloom to her nose and deeply breathed in its sweet scent, reminding herself that she was certain that she and Kylo had shared something special and that he was more than likely teaching a class that morning, or they would spend the day and another night together in bed - where she was more than happy to be.

Shit. Class.

Rey shot up like a lightning bolt in bed, anxiously scanning the room for a clock.

_8:45_

“Oh fuck.” She darted out of bed with a sour feeling in the pit of her stomach, that grew wider with each second that ticked by, and the thought that she was about to be late on her first day in her new Literature course becoming a more concrete reality as she ran around Kylo’s dim apartment like a madwoman.

With her discarded toga bundled in her arms against her still bare chest, Rey wondered just how late she’d be if she ran home to get dressed before her nine am class would begin - because there was no way in hell that she could show up in what would possibly be the most epic walk of shame dress of all time.

“To hell with it.” Rey grumbled, snatching a dark tee shirt from a hanger in the closet and a matching pair of boxers from a drawer before pulling on her gold sandals from her costume and darting out the door.

The nine o’clock mark had already come and gone by the time Rey burst through the doors of the English building and thundered down the hallway. It was seven minutes past when she slid through the door frame like Tom Cruise in Risky Business - before slipping on a strap of her sandal and landing in a tangled heap at a pair of oversized black boots.

“Ms. Niima, I presume?” A baritone voice rang out as Rey struggled to bring herself to her feet, letting out a bemused chuckle when a proffered hand came into view from her perch on the linoleum floor. She accepted the help, and lifted her gaze to the speaker and nearly lost her footing all over again when she found a pair of honeyed-bourbon eyes looking back at her from behind a sleek set of eyeglasses.

A hint of a crooked smile hovered at the corner of Kylo Ren’s mouth, and Rey instantly felt a searing heat rise in her cheeks as he pulled her to her shaky feet, leaning down to quietly growl in her ear so low that only she could hear.

“Is that _my_ underwear?”

Rey pulled away from him as the blush beneath her freckles deepened, and Kylo cleared his throat, bringing the room full of eyes back to him.

“You’re late, have a seat.” Kylo nodded towards an open seat in front of the mammoth wooden desk.

“I apologize, I was waylaid.” Rey mumbled as she slid into the chair, bristling at the cool feeling of the seat against her bare thighs. Kylo, who had casually lifted a coffee cup to his lips as he waited for her to get settled, snorted into the foam of his cappuccino when she met his gaze with a glint in her eye.

“I’m sure you were, Ms. Niima.” Kylo hummed, setting down his cup and reaching up to straighten his collar that peaked out from beneath a clean cut blazer.

Kylo continued on with his lecture, but Rey found it difficult to focus as her gaze kept drifting down from the board to the way his dark jeans hugged his ass, and the way the buttons on his grey shirt strained to contain him with every minuscule movement he made.

Before she knew it, the hour was up, and the lecture hall rapidly emptied out, leaving the two of them delightfully alone. Rey gathered up her scratch paper and the textbook she’d borrowed from the classroom and shyly sauntered up to where Kylo sat perched on the corner of the wooden desk.

Capturing her lip between her teeth, Rey got as close as she dared to his knees and looked up at him coyly through her lashes.

“So. You’re my TA. What are the odds?”

“It appears that way, doesn’t it?”

Rey anxiously toed her sandal on the floor, twisting it back and forth as the disappointment she felt leached away the giddy feeling she’d woken up to. A forlorn sigh slipped past her lips as she looked back at him, murmuring the words she had been so afraid to say - words that would acknowledge the new barrier between them.

“What now?”

Kylo slowly brought himself to his feet, instantly looming over her as he stepped forward to tuck a stray hair behind her ear.

“What happens now,” he rumbled, his dark eyes shifting back and forth between hers, “Is you go back to my place, and go back to bed and wait for me. I refuse to believe that this was too good to be true - and I’m going to do what I can to protect it. Plus, it’s not like we are getting married or anything. There’s no need to tell anyone while I’m your TA, and afterward…well, then I guess we will see, won’t we?”

Rey chewed her lip and tried to contain the smile that threatened to break out across her face as he looked down at her expectantly. She let her smile loose and gave him a small nod before turning on her heel to slowly step out the door.

“I guess…I’ll just see you later, then?”

“Count on it, Sweetheart.” Kylo winked with a crooked smile creasing the sides of his face.

Rey did see him later…and more after that, and after that. She found herself an almost permanent fixture in Kylo’s apartment, and before she knew it, months had gone by. They’d spent countless hours together in his bed, whispering to each other in the middle of the night and murmuring quiet _I love you’s_ as the snow fell outside his window - faster than either of them ever thought possible.

They kept things quiet and tried to take things slow while Rey was still enrolled in the class that Kylo was a TA for, but after her final grades were released, they stepped out into the sun together for the first time, feeling freer than they had ever been.

When the snow had melted and summer had come and gone all over again, and Lake Michigan was dotted with a symphony of blazing sienna and gold, Rey had settled herself into her favorite place to be – tucked into Kylo’s side with her favorite book as the wind carried a chill around outside with the dancing leaves on the sidewalk.

Kylo nuzzled the top of her head with his long nose, deeply inhaling the scent of her shampoo - like he needed it like he needed air to breathe. She felt him tangle his fingers between hers, and smiled to herself until an out of the ordinary movement on his part drew her attention away from the pages of _Emma._

Lifting her hand out in front of her, her eyes were instantly drawn to the solitaire diamond ring around the third finger on her left hand. In the fading afternoon light, it glittered like sunlight on the ocean at dawn – positively radiant as it sparkled from her outstretched hand.

Rey lifted herself onto her elbow to meet his eye with a crease in her brow.

“Kylo…what? What is this?”

“I want to marry you, Rey.”

She loved Kylo, she knew it deep in her heart. She craved the sound of his deep voice and the way that it soothed her. She coveted the warmth he provided on chilly autumn days just like today. When Kylo smiled at her, it felt like a precious gift that was only for her, and in it, she found the whole world. When they were together, everything felt right in the world, and Rey felt more at home than she had anywhere in her entire life. 

They loved each other deeply and truly…but was marriage something that they were ready for? They were both still so young, and there was so much that she had planned, and she selfishly never stopped to consider how Kylo would work into those plans with his work.

The truth of the matter, for Rey at least, was that above all…she loved him in a greater way than she’d loved anyone. It was a great love, the stuff of classic novels…of Hades and Persephone. Fate had brought them together, and if she deemed them worthy enough to keep them together until the end – then Rey would see it through.

A slow smile spread across Rey’s dimpled face as she slowly closed her book and laid it down on the wooden end table. Twisting in her seat, Rey shifted her body to throw a leg over Kylo’s lap and settle herself against him.

Kylo sat, frozen, his dark eyes burning as Rey splayed her fingers out across his chest to feel each crevasse of muscle beneath his tee shirt.

“Say something… _please._ ” He groaned, caging his long fingers around her waist as she leaned down to softly kiss the long column of his throat, working her way slowly to his tender, full lips. Rey placed a kiss as light as air to his mouth, tangling her fingers in his obsidian hair. When she pulled away, Kylo slowly opened his eyes, his breathing heavy as she looked down at him with a thoughtful stare.

“Okay.”

“Okay? Okay, what?” 

Rey bent down and devoured his mouth with a searing kiss to help convey her answer without words. A smile tugged at her lips when she pulled away, lifting her fingers to brush a stray hair from his sloping brow.

“Okay, I’ll marry you.”


	3. Corazón Acelerao

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dressed just professionally enough, he was effortlessly cool with one black loafer crossed over the other, smooth khakis, a light blue button down with a coordinated navy blazer and a loose navy tie hanging from his neck.
> 
> Rey paused in the doorway, her fingers just ghosting the edge of the frame as she inspected the dark scruff along the edge of his square jaw – thinking to herself that he was somehow and impossibly familiar, when his espresso-colored eyes suddenly shifted to meet her gaze.
> 
> An amused smile spread across his face, crinkling the corners of his eyes as he slowly folded the newspaper and tucked it beneath his arm as he stepped forward and reached out an open hand towards her.
> 
> “Poe Dameron. How’s it going?”
> 
> “Hi.” Rey breathed, sliding her fingers into his proffered hand with a bemused smile. “I’m Rey.”
> 
> “I know.” Poe grinned further as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze and a shake. “You’re the naked, dancing girl who lives across the alley from me.”
> 
> “Jesus Christ.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you thank you to my amazing beta, MyJediLife for being her amazing self and putting up with me!!! 
> 
> Much love to my sprinter fam for inspiring me in all the best ways all the time!! I'd be lost without you!
> 
> And to Becca...this is all your fault and I am so SO grateful to you because it feels SO DAMN GOOD to have my brain be on fire the way that it is.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48295724266/in/dateposted-public/)

 

“You can’t go.”

Kylo stood, leaning his broad shoulder against the doorframe to her bedroom with a shining, puppy-dog look in his eye as he watched Rey wander back and forth as she packed her bags.

“I have to go.”

“Do you?” Kylo groused, his dark eyes tracking her as she moved from the dresser to the open suitcase on her bedspread, folding a pair of jeans against her chest while she rolled her eyes at his pout. Kylo pushed off from the door and ambled over to plop down on the mattress, causing it to creak under his weight.

“You’re the one who helped get me this internship, and I’ve already got an apartment lined up.” Rey stepped between his knees and rested her hands on his shoulders, leaning down to pepper featherlight kisses around his glasses. “I think it is a little too late to back out now.”

She grazed her thumb along the shallow curve of his jaw, letting out a deep sigh as she watched him working his jaw back and forth, like he was chewing on all the things he wanted to say to get her to stay.

“I can just call Hux and have him revoke it. We need to find you a shittier job so that you want to come back.”

“What did you think was going to happen? We’ll still be together.” Rey flashed him one of her signature megawatt smiles in an effort to try and bring him some amount of comfort. Kylo captured her left hand with his own, fiddling with the glittering diamond that had been comfortably living on her finger for the last six months.

“You’re going to go there and love it, I just know it. You’re gonna call me and give me some bullshit about how you love the energy and the people and that the smell doesn’t bother you.” His eyes flickered up to hers for a moment before drifting back to her ring with another flex of his jaw and a firm press of his plush lips. “I just…Rey, I have this feeling that if I let you go, then you won’t be coming back. That it will be the end of us.”

Without saying a word, Rey stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his wide shoulders, pressing her nose into the soft skin behind his ear as she climbed into his lap. A smile broke across her face when she felt him practically deflate as some of anxiety melted away and he snaked his hands around her waist. Kylo pulled her tightly against his chest and pressed his long nose into her hair.

Rey pulled herself away to bring her gaze to meet his, cupping his long face in her hands.

“How about…” she hummed as her hazel eyes shifted across his features, “How about you come to New York and we get married?”

Kylo blanched and looked up at her with a glint of disbelief in his eyes.

“What…like…get _married_ , married?”

Rey let out a girlish giggle before leaning down to press a kiss to his flabbergasted mouth.

“You. Me. A white dress and a judge. Whaddaya say?”

“Are you sure?”

“Kylo… _I’m sure_. There’s nothing I could love more than I love you. Not even New York City. Plus, I’m fairly sure that New York won’t ever love me the same way that you do.”

Rey tenderly carded the ribbons of his dark hair through her fingers, lingering around the curve of his adorably large ears that he tried to keep hidden beneath the ebony curtain. She reached and grasped the bows of his glasses and slowly pulled them from the bridge of his long nose as his dark eyes flitted back and forth between hers.

Kylo cupped her cheeks in his large hands, pulling her closer to press the ghost of a kiss against her lips.

“I love you, Persephone.”

Rey leaned her forehead against his as a smile spread across her face, and she snaked her hands around his shoulders and leaned against him.

“You mentioned Hux…it was pretty nice that he was able to snag me this internship.”

“Yeah, it was pretty cool of him.” Kylo mused.

“How’d you two meet?”

“He was in the exchange program way back at Cambridge. You should meet him too, he’s a good guy.”

“Oh my, another Sassenach, eh? Fascinating.” Rey grinned as Kylo rolled his eyes.

“He’s an old friend, and the only guy I know in New York. All the girls wanted to sleep with him…you probably will too.”

“I find that highly unlikely.” Rey laughed, capturing her bottom lip between her teeth to try and contain the rush of emotions that swelled up from deep in her chest, threatening to spill over. Her chin trembled as she lifted her gaze to meet the honeyed-bourbon one that burned into hers.

“I’m going to miss you terribly. I wish I could be going there with you.”

Kylo pulled her against his chest and made calming circles against her back with his palms as he whispered into her hair.

“No, no…don’t do that, Sweetheart. This is an amazing opportunity for you – You’d kick yourself if you didn’t do it, and I’m not about to hold you back. This is your time, and I’ll be here waiting when you get back.”

He brought his plush lips to hers and left a lingering kiss there, letting every feeling beyond words speak for themselves through his kiss before breathlessly pulling away to lift her hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss into her palm.

“I love you, Rey Niima. Now go. Go be your brilliant self that I know that you are.”

…

“Kylo sounds like he’d be a good dad.”

Hanna leaned back into her mountain of fluffy pillows with a thoughtful look that flitted over her fine, freckled features as she tapped the tip of her chin with her turquoise painted finger.

“I’m just not sure if he’s _my_ dad.”

A smile curled up from the corner of Rey’s mouth at the way the thoroughly American little girl pronounced her vowels with just a hint of a British accent.

“Why’s that?” Rey mused, as she fiddled with the paw of one of the rainbow-colored stuffed animals that crowded the bed.

“It’s like I said. Everyone knows that the boyfriend in the beginning of the story always gets dumped. He’s going to do something stupid. Or you did. Or both of you. So…maybe this Hux guy is my dad.”

“Armitage?”

Hanna rolled her eyes.

“Mom, please. I thought you’d come up with a name more creative than _Armitage_. I’ll allow it though.”

Rey chuffed with a shake of her head.

“Thank goodness for that. As I was saying…I won’t ever forget that moment when I stepped off the plane in the greatest city in the world, with the rest of my life spread out before me. I just _knew_ that something great was about to happen.”

….

 

Of all the expectations Rey had upon her arrival in - what so many believed - was the greatest city in the world – from the abundance of cultures, the variety of food, and the attitude of the people – she wasn’t ready for the heat.

On paper, it wasn’t much different than the sticky air of late-July in the Midwest, but the oppressive heat of New York City was an animal all unto itself.

With her iPod tucked into the back pocket of her jean shorts, Rey let the chilled-out beats of Gorillaz and _Feel Good Inc._ guide her steps as she made her way down Broadway on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, feeling – albeit a little sticky – on top of the world after scouting out Republic Publishing House, where she would be starting her internship the next day.

Finding her feet helped fuel her confidence after landing in the Big Apple only a day prior, and made a self-satisfied smile spread across her face. The feeling of excitement she’d had since the wheels left the ground in Chicago still hadn’t simmered away, and Rey hoped that she’d always feel this hungry and ready as long as she was in this city.

Rounding the green sphere-topped pole, Rey hopped down a long flight of grimy stairs, letting out a deep sigh as a heavy _whoosh_ of hot air went rushing up the narrow staircase and through her hair as she went deeper underground and into the subway station.

It was late afternoon, and the station was a seething mass of humanity filled with a mixed cacophony of sound - from the shrill pings of the card readers as the commuters swiped their yellow cards, to the distant echo of a saxophone player playing for tips across the tracks on the other side of the platform.

Rey stretched her neck in the stifling trapped air from days on end of the muggy summer heat, bending and shifting her way in the impossibly small spaces between people, and avoiding eye contact with everyone she could as she involuntarily rubbed shoulders with the throng of strangers.

Finding a free beam to lean against, Rey pulled a book from the canvas bag that hung from her shoulder and lazily fanned her face as the brutal hot air licked at her skin, pressing in closer and closer the longer she waited for the train.

It was hot enough that even sweating was no good, giving her no relief as perspiration beaded over the top of the freckles on her forehead and trickled down the back of her neck like warm soup.

Then all at once, the gleaming silver of the train burst from the tunnel like a bullet, bringing with it a blessed rush of air that took Rey’s breath away as her chestnut hair fluttered in waves around her face.

The train slowed to a stop with a screech, opening its doors with a metallic chime, allowing only seconds for a herd of passengers to exchange places from platform to compartment before sliding shut.

The air-conditioned train felt like heaven to Rey after being out in the New York City sunshine, sending a chill across her flesh with a sheet of goosebumps. It was almost a little too much, but not unwelcome, like a blustery winter chill than a cooling summer breeze.

Stuffed to the brim like sardines, the compartment was standing room only, and Rey found herself comfortably perched next to a pole, gripping the cool metal as the train lurched forward and took off into the darkness of the tunnel. Closing her eyes for a moment against the shrill shrieks and groans of the old car as it careened in the pitch black, she let the steady back and forth motions rock her from side to side – a feeling that quickly became like muscle memory as she kept her feet firmly planted on the floor and let her body become one with the train that moved her.

A ten-minute ride and a transfer later, Rey emerged back into the summer sun, slipping her sunglasses back down onto her freckled nose as she stepped off the curb to her new favorite noodle shop across the street.

Moments later, with a paper bag tucked beneath her elbow, Rey pushed open the bright red door next to one of many Chinese apothecaries on her block with a jingle of her keys. She smeared the dots of perspiration from her forehead with a free hand as she trudged up the two flights of stairs to her third-floor walkup, desperate to be out of the stifling heat and back into the cool air provided by her modest window unit.

Like her iPod was connected directly to her soul, Nelly dropped a sweet line in her ear buds – instantly giving her the urge to move her hips as _Hot in Herre_ made it from the intro to the first verse. Rey swayed from side to side and toed off her converses, leaving them behind by the front door as she shimmied between the stacks of cardboard boxes that lined the narrow entry of the four-hundred square foot space.

The music was like liquid adrenaline that was injected right into her bloodstream, taking over her limbs as she started to dance to-and-fro into the apartment. The welcome, frigid air felt divine as it kissed her sweat-stained skin, but her clothes stayed stuck to her moist skin with every movement, practically begging for her to rip them off.

Rey had never had the personal freedom to do whatever she wanted in a space that was truly hers. She decided right then, with Nelly spurring her forward and telling her what to do, crossing her arms in front of her waist and winding the hem of her green tank top around her fingers to peel it off her back and over her head.

Like Michael Jordan shooting a three-pointer at the sound of the buzzer, Rey tossed the crumpled up fabric across the room with a grin. Dancing with a blissfulness she’d never know, she tucked her thumbs under the waistband of her jean shorts and shimmied them over the curve of her ass, letting her grin grow as they fell to the floor.

A sheet of goosebumps ran up her chest as she reached between her muscular shoulders and let her bra join the rest of her clothing on the floor, her jubilant dance sending a petal pink flush across her cheeks as she twirled and leapt to the beat that filled her ears – until a flash of light caught her attention from the window across the alleyway.

Rey ripped the white earbuds from her ears, instantly silencing Nelly and her “getting naked” song as she dropped to the floor in front of the window. She scrubbed her freckled face with her hands, letting out a groan when she lifted her eyes over the brick windowsill to take a tentative peek across the alley.

She was only brave enough to look for a millisecond before sinking back down to the floor, a searing blush rising up from beneath every single freckle.

Rey pushed herself back up from the wood floor, holding on to the brick for dear life as she looked once more, and got the very first glimpse of her new neighbor - who probably got more than they bargained for.

“I’m probably going to get some angry Chinese grandma knocking on my door any second now…” Rey bemused as she focused her eyes past the bright afternoon light that was casting a glare on the window across from the narrow space between the buildings.

It wasn’t a Chinese grandma. Or a grandma of any culture. It was a guy.

“Oh shit.”

Rey threw herself back down to the floor, her mortification creating a sinking pit in her stomach that grew bigger by the second. Why in the hell did she think she could dance around naked _without curtains_?

The little voice in her head told her to look once more and then that was it….she needed something more than the dark curly hair and the flash of a smile that she’d been able to glimpse in the microsecond she’d dared to peek at him.

When she felt brave enough to look again, she only saw a large piece of paper and the neighbor in question behind it with a tanned hand clapped over his eyes and a wide grin plastered across what she could see of his face.

_I swear I’m not a creep. Wanted to suggest curtains before your next dance party so a real creep doesn’t see you._

She was mortified, practically frozen to the spot and nearly traumatized from ever being naked ever again, Rey couldn’t believe that she had been such an idiot. She’d have to move, most certainly…tuck tail and run back to Chicago and cry to Kylo how she had been too naked to make it in New York.

No…she couldn’t do that either, he’d laugh his ass off if he had known. Either that, or he’d track down the guy who’d seen her and hit him hard enough so that he’d never remember the sight of her without getting an aching head.

The memory now permanently seared into her memory, Rey pulled up her metaphorical big-girl pants and quickly offered a wave without meeting her neighbors eye, ducking into the back of her apartment to shower off the day - and her embarrassment.

Rey flinched as her toes touched the faded pink subway tile in the shower, feeling the blush creep back up on her face as the lukewarm water rushed over her head and darkened her hair as it trickled down her back. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the smile on his face and her face would flush all over again – praying that she’d never have to see him and think about the Nakedpocaplyse ever again.

…

Hanna’s wild peals of laughter pulled Rey from the story, and she felt the ghost of a flush climb her cheeks. Her giggles burst forth in a musical symphony - between her small snorts and squeals - and every note of it was music to Rey’s ears. She couldn’t help it when eventually, her own laughter rang out to join her daughter’s.

“Mom.” Hanna gasped between belly laughs, her eyes shining as she practically burrowed herself into the pile of unicorns at her back. “Oh my goodness…is _that_ Daddy? How _embarrassing_!”

“I suppose that there are better ways to meet people, but it certainly was memorable…that’s for sure.” Rey mused wistfully, thinking back to the days following her awkward first impression and how her first day at work didn’t go much better.

….

The coolness of the next morning as Rey emerged into the already bustling street of the open market stalls in Chinatown was deceptive. The sun had barely risen to give off the stifling heat that was bound to turn the world around them into a swamp as it rose in the sky. She could see the rays of morning light reflecting off the distant skyscrapers further downtown, sending a glittering glow over the rest of the city as a majority of the eight million people who lived there rose to greet the day.

 

Rey felt chic and professional, ready to seize the day in her sleek, white pencil skirt, with fine black lines that checkered the fabric that rose high on her waist. She’d paired it with a simple black V-neck, with simple black flutter sleeves that hugged the curve of her shoulders, and a pair of simple black heels that had thick straps that criss crossed over her ankles.

Rey was positive that she was about to land on top of the world, working in a field that she believed in – writing things that mattered – and that before long, her manager would realize how brilliant she was and make her a junior editor in her first year.

She kept going over her own positive affirmations in her head, over and over, as she made her way uptown on the train, and still more as she made her way through the revolving doors and up the sixty-six floors to Republic Publishing to her manager's office.

“Rey Niima?”

Rey blinked up at the bearded face of the first colleague she’d met, immediately sticking out a hand with a dazzling smile.

“That’s me. Happy to be here and thrilled to start working. You are?”

“Ah, yeah…Snap Wexley.”

“Pleasure.” Rey nodded, lifting her eyes to look around the bustling office. “So…where’s my desk? What project will I be working on? I have samples of my work that I’d be happy to give to you and have you read, if you’d like help in placing me in a certain genre. I really enjoy doing historical fiction and science fiction, but I’d be happy fact checking for biographies and such.”

Snap let out a loud guffaw as a smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth under his beard.

“I…uh, thanks. I cannot wait to peruse those in my abundant spare time.” Snap muttered dryly as he turned on his heel to walk to the long line of office doors. “We’re walking, Niima, come on. You aren’t working on any projects yet. In the meantime, here’s a sample of the coffee and bagel order that I need filled immediately.”

“Wait. Coffee? You want me to get coffee?”

“That’s what I said.”

“But what about?” Rey felt her positive attitude instantly deflate as disappointment seeped through her sunshine.

“Coffee.” Snap snapped brusquely as he looked over his shoulder at someone waving at him from down the hall. “Have the coffee here by the 10 am meeting in conference room two, or Holdo is gonna kill me. And that will mean that I have to kill you…and I’ve killed before.”

He pulled a small black brick from his pocket and tossed it at her. Rey turned the device over in her hands and ran her thumb over the wide, rectangular screen and the smallest keyboard she’d ever seen. She looked up at Snap with a quizzical raise of her eyebrows.

“What is this?”

“That’s a BlackBerry.”

“A what?”

“A cell phone, dummy. You can check emails and get texts on it too. Keep it on you so I can get a hold of you wherever, whenever. Can somebody get me an aspirin?” Snap hollered over his shoulder. “It’s good to have you here, Niima. Get on that coffee!”

Tucking the BlackBerry in her pocket, Rey thought shamelessly about her poor, faithful Nokia that was tucked into her bag…suddenly realizing how outdated the little thing had become. She spun around, positively drowning in the dissolution of her hopes for the day as she looked for where she’d need to fetch said coffee from.

Rey wandered down the line of neatly arranged cubicles, looking from side to side as she silently cursed herself for getting her hopes up into thinking that she’d be an editor right out of the gate and have something glamorous to do as an intern - instead of doing as all interns do.

After who knew how long of searching the sixty-sixth floor, Rey finally stumbled into a long kitchen, teeming with craft services that made her eyes bulge, but her gaze was instantly drawn to the man who was casually leaning against the counter with a newspaper open in front of him.

Dressed just professionally enough, he was effortlessly cool with one black loafer crossed over the other, smooth khakis, a light blue button down with a coordinated navy blazer and a loose navy tie hanging from his neck.

Rey paused in the doorway, her fingers just ghosting the edge of the frame as she inspected the dark scruff along the edge of his square jaw – thinking to herself that he was somehow and impossibly familiar, when his espresso-colored eyes suddenly shifted to meet her gaze.

An amused smile spread across his face, crinkling the corners of his eyes as he slowly folded the newspaper and tucked it beneath his arm as he stepped forward and reached out an open hand towards her.

“Poe Dameron. How’s it going?”

“Hi.” Rey breathed, sliding her fingers into his proffered hand with a bemused smile. “I’m Rey.”

“I know.” Poe grinned further as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze and a shake. “You’re the naked, dancing girl who lives across the alley from me.”

“Jesus Christ.”

A flush of pink creeped up her cheeks, setting her freckles ablaze as she averted her eyes from his gaze and yanked her hand away to anxiously fiddle with a ribbon of her chestnut hair.

“Oh no no no, don’t worry about it. I do it all the time. Dancing, that is. We should do it together sometime, just…less naked. Salsa?”

“Pardon?” Rey pressed, trying her best to keep up with him. “I…uh, maybe. I need to get coffee.”

“Snap get you running errands already?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t be too disappointed, kid. You’ll be out there with the big wigs before you know it.”

“You sound so sure.” Rey mumbled skeptically with a lift of her eyebrows. “Looks like you’re still running coffee too.”

“I like running coffee.” Poe shrugged with a sly grin. “At some point in our lives, we all get coffee. My time is now. I’m cool with being the coffee guy. Something tells me you won’t be a coffee girl for long.”

“You didn’t have any other aspirations for your life other than…fetching coffee?”

Poe shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“I thought I wanted to be a pilot for a bit…travel the world…meet people. Maybe settle down upstate and teach flying lessons, but that…that kinda fizzled out. This is a job. Does it pay much? No. Do I love it? Also no. But it helps pay the bills more than being a tour guide in Chinatown does.”

“You’re a tour guide?” Rey laughed skeptically, wondering how on earth a seemingly charismatic guy like this went from aspiring to fly to having a job like the one he had now.

“I’m saving up to travel the world.”

“Uh-huh…and how long have you been doing that for?”

“….a while.”

“So, what’s stopping you from going out and doing it?”

“Doing what?”

“Achieving your dream, you idiot?”

Poe’s mouth hung open in a silent “oh” of feigned shock as he splayed his fingers out over the light blue fabric on his chest.

“Rey Niima…I barely know you and suddenly I’m an…an _idiot_?”

“Yeah, and I’m the naked, dancing girl.” Rey giggled with a mischievous grin, liking Poe more and more by the second. “I came here all the way from Chicago…left my home and my fiancé behind to achieve my dreams. I can’t stand the thought of having such a cool dream like being a _pilot_ just slip away. It’s just…it’s crap, is what it is.”

As she spoke, Poe slowly brought his dark lashes to a close and let out a loud snore. Rey grabbed a butterfly clip off the closest countertop and threw it at him.

“Or don’t - whatever. It’s your dream.” Rey deadpanned and Poe let out the biggest, fake yawn as he stretched his arms over his head.

“Oh Gods, I’m so sorry.”

“Mhmm…”

“I just…I just fell asleep there for a second.”

“Yeah, I saw that. Maybe you should, I don’t know…wake up and smell the coffee.” Rey grinned, reaching over his head to an open shelf lined with coffee mugs.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right.” Poe hummed as he lifted a silver carafe from a hot plate to pour into her proffered mug. “This has been incredibly interesting…good talk.”

“Likewise.”

Rey couldn’t help but feel the smile creep across her face as Poe walked past her with a grin as he murmured a coy,

“See you later, naked-dancing girl.”

“Bye, coffee-guy.”

 

After a long day of running what felt like an endless array of pointless errands, and splashing coffee on her white pencil skirt not once – but twice, Rey trudged through the gleaming granite lobby alone to make her way through the late-July heat and find her way home after what was possibly the worst first day ever.

Her disappointment was palpable as she reached for the handle of the revolving doors at the edge of the lobby when a hand curled around hers and pulled her away.

Her smile was helplessly instant when she met the mischievous grin of Poe Dameron, who tucked her arm into the crook of his elbow and shamelessly led her out of the handicap exit.

“It looks like you need to have some fun after the day you’ve had, Sunshine. We’re going home, you’re putting on your cutest dress and we’re going dancing.”

 

“Are we now?” Rey scoffed as she pulled her sunglasses from her bag to perch upon her freckled nose, wrinkling it in mock-disdain. “I’m warning you, I dance like a goat.”

“Not true.” Poe stated with a purse of his lips. “I’ve witnessed it. Not goat-like in the slightest. I thought you pranced like a duck.”

He laughed loudly when she reached out to punch him in the chest, almost sure that they’d just sealed the deal on their instantaneous friendship.

The conversation was effortless and easy as breathing, the time went by quicker, and the heat was a little more bearable with him by her side.

When they emerged from the Canal Street station and into the street draped in signs emblazoned with writing in Mandarin, it instantly felt like they had stepped off the train and into another country.

The signs over the windows of the shops that lined the sidewalk were every shade of the rainbow, from bright yellow to deep blues – advertising everything from acupuncture, dumplings, souvenirs and more.

Rey and Poe strode down the bustling street, winding their way past wrinkled Chinese grannies and their pushcarts full of the day’s shopping, while an old man on the corner across the way played an ancient tune on the dizi for all the shoppers to hear.

After bashfully saying goodbye at her red door, Rey watched Poe walk across the few steps to his own door before he turned to offer an excited grin.

“See you in five minutes, Sunshine.”

Exactly twenty-two minutes later, Rey was being dragged down a street that was far-too busy for a Wednesday night as she took in every glittering fleck of light from the dimming sun that reflected off the towering buildings and blended in seamlessly with the bright neon shining from the windows.

The steady and sultry beat of Salsa music filled the air without effort, filtering around them through the air – dancing with the smell of roasting peppers and empanadas from an army of taco trucks that lined the cobblestone street.

Poe tangled his fingers with hers, looking over his shoulder to grin at her as he pulled them into a dark club, pulsating with drum beats and horns. The rhythm rushed in and around every person in the room. Some of them reacted to the sound, bobbing their heads and shaking their hips from their perches at the bar as they chattered away with their companions.

Her newfound friend didn’t waste any time in pulling her to the center of the dance floor, a pair of dimples creasing around the corners of his mouth as his smile grew. Colored lights moved and flashed, and Rey’s heart beat along with the congas, filling her with the need to move her body along with the beat. Poe looked her up and down with his dark eyes, momentarily capturing his lip between his teeth before reaching out to curl an arm around her waist.

Rey let out an airy laugh as he snapped her flush against his chest and she heard his voice in her ear.

“This dance needs us to get a little closer.”

Poe was an accomplished dancer, helping Rey look positively not goat-like in the slightest as she guided the movement of her hips with each step and twirling her around as the trumpets soared. The lights twinkled with their every step, and Rey lost herself to the sound of the music and the way the rhythm coursed through her veins, spurring her on to keep dancing until her feet ached.

The club was filled from wall to wall with people dancing to the lively music that thumped all around them. To any viewer from outside, it looked like there was no room to breathe, let alone dance, but to Poe and Rey it felt like they had all the room in the word as they twisted and turned – holding hands as they changed sides and Poe guided her into a wild spin on her toes.

They were all smiles, grinning at each other dimple – to -dimple…probably looking a little foolish amongst the romantic couples openly lusting after each other as they danced. With Poe, Rey merely felt happy. Happy to be there and happy to be alive - like a part of her she didn’t know existed felt free to come out and play and feel the vibe of the music that let her body go free. Rey knew that even in ten years, she’d still remember this night and her official welcome to The Big Apple.

Swaying slightly on her feet after Rey had finished the last gulp of her third gin and tonic, Rey burst out into the sticky, albeit a little cooler, night air. With a cigarette tucked between her teeth, she clumsily mashed the buttons on her BlackBerry. Lifting the device up to her ear, Rey fiddled with a mini, green lighter as the tone hummed in her ear, squealing animatedly when a deep rumble came through the other line.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me!”

“Rey?”

“No…” Rey giggled as she took a long drag on her cigarette.

….

“Hold it! Stop it right there!” Hanna halted Rey’s story abruptly with tears shining in her hazel eyes as she looked up at her with pure devastation. “You smoked?”

Rey froze, looking from side to side anxiously, trying to find any answer that was one of many standard excuses.

“I…uh.no. Err…yes. But I didn’t mean to tell you that. And….I was young. And really _really_ stupid back then. Plus, I haven’t smoked in years, I swear.”

Hanna glared at her from her mountain of stuffed animals, with her arms crossed across her chest and a twitch of her eye.

“Is there anything else you should tell me?”

“Probably not. I think…anyways…”

…

“It’s _Persephone_.” Rey mumbled, dragging out each letter as they just barely struggled to tumble past her lips.

“Hey ‘Seph.” Kylo’s deep giggle came through the other end, only causing Rey’s smile to grow as she leaned heavily with her back against the brick façade. “What’s all the noise?”

“Oh.” Rey muttered, looking over her shoulder into the window, offering up a wave when she met Poe’s eye and pointed to the phone at her ear and mouthed, “ _fiancé_ ”, “It’s just a salsa club a new friend from work took me to celebrate my first day.”

“Sounds fun. Did you tell them about me?”

“Who, my beautiful fiancé back home who I am eternally devoted to?”

“That’s the one.” Rey could feel his smile coming through the phone.

“Once or twice.” She smirked to herself, craning her neck to try and see if there was even the tiniest glimmer of distant stars in the night sky.

“You’re drunk.”

“You’re beau-ti-FUL.”

“You’re horny is what.” Kylo chuckled, the sound igniting a pang of homesickness in her heart and an ache between her thighs, wishing right then and there that she could climb into his bed and let the music guide her hips in a private dance with him.

“You might be right.” Rey hummed, capturing her bottom lip between her teeth as she swayed on her feet. “Come to New York. You’ll love it here. It’s….it’s the energy. The people. It’s-it’s amazing, Kylo.”

“Jesus, did you just say _energy_? Rey, please for the love of God don’t tell me that you just said _energy_.” Kylo groaned and Rey could practically feel the roll of his dark eyes.

“What?”

“You’re never coming back, are you?”

“Hey now, come on. You know I will.” Rey let out a laugh that died quickly in the late evening breeze, “I’m sorry for saying energy. It won’t happen again.”

 

“Hey.” Kylo’s deep voice reverberated through the phone to tickle the flesh on her ear, “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Rey mumbled forlornly as she dropped the cigarette to the ground and toed the glowing ember into nothing with the toe of her shoe, “I’m just…it’s surprisingly lonely here, and I miss you like crazy, and parts of this are just _so_ much harder than I thought they would be.”

Rey reached up and dashed the budding tears that pooled on her lashes, forcing a smile as she blinked back any more traitors from rising from the depths.

“I know what you mean, Sweetheart. You’re off on this adventure, and I’m just sitting here, praying that I don’t fuck this up and lose you forever. Just, you know, keep being your brilliant self, and I know that it won’t be long before they see you the way that I do.”

Her heart ached, and her fingers yearned to reach through the line and trace soft circles against his cheek and lean into him when he’d snake his long arms around her waist to pull her to his chest.

Nearly losing herself to the memory of that feeling, when she’d comfortably spend hours curled up against Kylo, Rey jumped when a hand tapped her on the shoulder.

Poe offered a sympathetic smile and a shrug as he mouthed “ _sorry_ ” as Rey laughed and turned back to her conversation.

“You won’t fuck it up, Kylo. I love you. Just…come see me soon, okay?”

“I’ll try and get some time sorted out with work, okay?”

“Okay.” Rey murmured, “Love you.”

“Me too, ‘Seph.”

With the press of her thumb, Rey ended the call and turned back to Poe, who was casually leaning against the wall with his hands shoved into his pockets.

“You ready to head back downtown?”

“You bet, coffee guy.”

They strode down the street and walked in silence, with only the sound of the fading salsa music at their back and the occasional passing taxi that drove by.

“So…” Poe mused, as he leaned down to pick up an empty paper cup and deposit it into a trash can as they passed by.

“So?” Rey answered.

“That the fiancé? You guys like, college sweethearts or something?”

Rey laughed openly, drawing a quizzical, sideways look from Poe as they continued to wander down the sidewalk.

“How did you do that?”

“What?”

“The way you took the simplest statement and twist it with a negative connotation? I mean, it’s actually pretty impressive how you just slipped that in there. I’m amazed.”

Poe made a face, trying to hide the awkward smile that played at the corner of his mouth.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“No, actually I think the idea of having a college sweetheart really adorable.”

Rey playfully reached out and smacked Poe in the bicep, laughing when he rubbed his arm and pouted like she had hurt him.

“See, you did it again!”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

“I don’t even know I’m doing it, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, sure.” Rey grinned as she let her smile melt into a contemplative smirk, tapping her finger on her chin with a shrug, “It’s probably because it’s so hard for you to imagine a relationship built on mutual respect.”

“Oooh, ouch.” Poe hissed in mock hurt, “So, if your deal with Kylo, or whatever his name is, is so damn wonderful, why don’t you just marry him?”

“I plan on it, dummy…eventually.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“I don’t know.” Rey shrugged, skimming her palm up and down the bare skin of her arm, “Time. Work. Achieving my dreams.”

“So. This fiancé. How’d he do it?”

“What, propose?”

“No, how’d he grow up? _Yes_ , how’d he propose? I can tell you if it was any good or not.”

“What, like you’re the expert?”

“I could be.”

“You’ve proposed to how many people?” Rey pressed with a roll of her hazel eyes.

“None. I want it to be perfect, and do it just once, but I’ve thought about how I’d do it when I find her.”

“Yikes, you’ve really given this some thought for this dream girl you’re gonna find.”

“ _If_ I find her, I want to make sure that it is perfect. I’d be asking her to give up her freedom, her _joie de vivre_ for an institution that fails more often than it exceeds….so yes. I’ve thought about it.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“Did he get down on one knee at least?”

“Did he have to?”

Poe gave her a pointed look, with a lift of his dark eyebrows as he pursed his lips before Rey continued on.

“I mean…it was simple. It was us, in our natural habitat, and he slipped the ring on my finger and said ’marry me’, and I said okay.”

Poe stopped abruptly and let a whoosh of air out of his mouth, like he had been holding a breath the entire time they’d been talking.

“ _Marry me, okay_? Christ.”

“Okay, mister, ‘I’m the expert on all things proposal related’, how would you have done it?”

Poe stepped to the side of the sidewalk, giving a smile and a nod to a passing couple as he brought his dark eyes to meet hers.

“Like this.” He captured her hand with his own, and kept his eyes locked on hers as he slowly sank to a single knee, “Rey. I want to marry you, because you are the happiness of my life. The smile on my lips. The beat of my heart. I feel more alive whenever I look at you, and your smile gives me light. I knew I would fall for you from the first moment I saw you. Please. _Marry me_.”

Rey’s words left her as she stood with a hand over her heart, and the other in Poe’s hand as he looked up at her from the grimy sidewalk. Her mind was blank, and her hazel eyes were wide as she stared down at him in astonishment as she searched for something…anything to come out of her mouth.

“Say yes.” The whisper of a passerby pulled her back to reality, suggesting that the pair of them looked like a real couple from a stranger’s view. She stared at him for another moment before bursting into a fit of wild peals of laughter.

“My god. You really have put too much thought into this, haven’t you?”

“Maybe a little too much.” Poe muttered with a grin, as he dusted off his knees and stepped down the street a few paces before holding out a hand to her, “Come on, naked, dancing girl. You should get some rest before your next big day of fetching coffee.”

Rey reached out and accepted it, grinning to herself as he tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and led her down the block. She could only hope what the next few months would bring as far as work and everything else, but beyond anything, Rey was grateful to have met someone who was sure to be a lifelong friend.


	4. We Should Just Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rey tried to speak, her voice faltered into breathless, unintelligible whimpers as she stood rooted to the concrete, unable to think, breathe or move. She wanted to tell him she loved him and feel him in her arms but, after their time apart and what had just happened, she was afraid that it would only sound hollow - when Rey knew that she meant it with her whole heart.
> 
> With all the times he’d put off coming to New York, Rey was afraid that the man standing before her was merely a figment of her imagination – a mirage in the desert for her touch-starved self - that if she reached out to brush her fingers against him, they would only meet the air and the vision of him would float away on the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The world's biggest THANK YOU to my amazing beta, MyJediLife for being her amazing self and being an extension of my brain. MY QUEEN.
> 
> Shout out to my amazing sprinter fam in TWD, you motivate me like you wouldn't believe!
> 
> This story is headed out of the station like a runaway freight train...look for an update soon!

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48327509901/in/dateposted-public/)

 

“Okay, so you’ve told me about Kylo - who I have down as smart, your college sweetheart and doesn’t like New York - which makes me think that maybe he wasn’t _that_ smart. And then we have Poe - who is funny, has a nice smile and can dance _and_ he’s really good at teasing you,” Hanna stated as she read off the crayon-colored list that was perched in her lap.

“He could sing _and_ play guitar, too.” Rey grinned with a facetious waggle of her eyebrows.

“Whoa.”

“Right?”

“So. What about this Hux guy?”

“Armitage.”

“Right. _Armitaaaage_.” Hanna elongated the vowels as they came out of her mouth, exaggerating every single letter before erupting into a fit of giggles, “I can’t wait to hear what was so great about him.”

“Well.” Rey began with a deep breath, taking a noisy sip from one of the pair of juice boxes she’d brought in for some late night refreshments, “I didn’t meet him for a few more months after I moved to New York. In the meantime, though, I’d finally stopped running coffee, and started doing some _real_ work at my job - and I even got noticed by the publisher, Amilyn Holdo.”

“Go Mom!”

“I know, it was pretty exciting stuff…. Well, after a few weeks of kicking butt at my job-“

“You can say ass, I don’t mind.” Hanna interjected as she slurped up the remaining drops of juice from her own little box.

“Hanna! …alright, fine. After a few weeks of kicking ass at my job, I scored an amazing invitation to the company’s Christmas party at The Met, and tried my hardest to get Kylo to come visit from Chicago to go with me. It had been a long time since we had seen each other.”

“Ohhh, I just love Christmas in New York!” Her little girl exclaimed, wiggling excitedly beneath her covers as she started to list off all the very best things to do in the city during the holidays, “There’s the ice skating, and the Winter Village at Bryant Park, and the special trains on the subway, and the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree…it’s just…it’s so, _so_ magical. And a good time to be in love I bet, right?”

“The very best, Sweetheart. The very best.”

…

Rey leaned down towards the mirror that was precariously leaned against the wall on top of her dresser, and swiped one last touch of bright red upon her mouth before replacing the cap on the tube of lipstick and giving a loud smack of her lips. She lifted a white envelope from the dark wood of her bureau and pulled out the picture of a face brighter than any Christmas tree, giving it a wistful smile as she traced her gold glitter-painted fingers across Kylo’s grin.

She flipped over the card to scan her hazel eyes over the elegant scrawl on the back –

_Wish I could be with you in The Big Apple for the holiday. Missing you more than I can say._  
See you soon.  
Kylo xo 

Rey would be lying if she said she wasn’t disappointed that Kylo – once again – was held up in Chicago for one reason or another when the time came that he had promised to visit. It had been months since she’d left, and the only time she’d been able to spend with her fiancé was an endless span of time on the phone, and a fleeting visit she’d made back home in September.

Christmas was Rey’s absolute favorite time of year, and her homesickness was at an all time high. The one remedy she could think of was a thousand miles away in the Midwest and felt further away than ever.

Rey had her hopes so high that Kylo would finally, _finally_ make it out to see her that she had even bought herself a new dress for the occasion. Giving herself one last look and turn in the mirror after sliding a pair of gold-trimmed black heels onto her feet, Rey straightened the band of black fabric that hugged her winter-faded freckled shoulders, and ran her hands down the bodice to the emerald green taffeta skirt. She’d nearly keeled over when she saw the price tag when she ventured inside Bloomingdale’s after seeing the dress in the window from the sidewalk. Rey couldn’t deny the love at first sight, and sealed the deal when she slipped it on in the fitting room – knowing she was lost to it right then and there.

Paired with the right set of glittering, gold accessories, Rey knew it would be worth it to feel as beautiful as she did when she’d see it reflected back in Kylo’s eyes when she imagined him sitting on the bed behind her in the tiny studio.

In her mind, he was the one slipping her black, wool coat over her shoulders, his hands lingering for a moment before slipping down to her waist to curl around her, pressing her against his broad chest as the tip of his long nose tickled the curve of her ear while he rumbled how beautiful she looked in the dress, and how he couldn’t wait to take it off later.

In her mind, he’d pull open the door and sweep into a deep bow with a boyish laugh before following her down the hall and the stairs. They’d step out into the cool night air that had been growing colder with each day closer to Christmas, and he’d mumble how much better Chicago was because they’d already had snow.

“It’s not Christmas without it.”

He’d somehow be able to hail a taxi from her narrow back street deep in the heart of Chinatown, and tenderly hover over her emerald skirt to make sure she didn’t wrinkle it as she slid into the back seat before joining her in the warm cab. He’d slip his arm around her waist, and she’d lean her head against his shoulder and watch the glittering lights of New York City fly by in the miraculously amazing traffic as they went uptown.

But he wasn’t there. She was alone. Again.

Rey had tried to see if she could rope Poe into going with her to the party, but he had his own plans with some girl, who Rey knew right away didn’t deserve her best friend for a split second. She’d rolled her eyes and thought about figuring out some way to get him to say yes. Rey knew if she begged, Poe would probably ditch whatsherface in a second, but decided against it to brave the party alone. If it was totally insufferable, she could ditch the cocktails and wander the museum alone, which didn’t seem like the most terrible idea in the world.

Forty minutes later, Rey stepped up the grimy staircase from the now-welcome warmth of the subway station. The blustery night air fluttered the stray strands of chestnut hair that had slipped out from the braid that was wrapped around the crown of her head. She’d underestimated how cold it was going to be that night. More of a warm weather girl, Rey wrapped her wool coat tighter around her body as the wind bit at her cheeks and threatened to wick away all her warmth faster than her body could replace it. If she knew any better, it smelled like it just might snow…

The alluring scent of freshly baked cookies wafted over the sidewalk as Rey walked down the twinkle light wrapped, tree-lined street as fast as she could, watching as the tourists swarmed in and out of the festive coffee shops like bees to their hive.

As she came down the street, watching the never-ending swarm of yellow taxicabs as they passed her by, Rey lifted her eyes to the mammoth limestone façade of The Metropolitan Museum of Art. Looking both ways to wait for a space between traffic, Rey dashed across Fifth Avenue to climb the massive staircase of the historic building. 

An hour later, Rey had about enough of inconsequential polite conversation and canapes than she could stand, plus two too many glasses of champagne, and decided to wander the gargantuan hallways of the world-renowned museum.

She wasn’t the only person with the same idea. A smattering of other party goers had left the wide, window lined Egyptian temple room where the party was being held behind in order to gaze upon the works of Matisse, Pollack, and all the Masters.

As Rey wandered from piece to piece, she let out a sigh as she looked upon the self-portrait of Vincent Van Gogh, when a different red-headed man caught her eye. He was taller than average and stood just far enough behind her to see over her shoulder at the same piece.

“Oh, I apologize…let me make some room for you.” Rey murmured, stepping to the side with a polite smile when she met his aquamarine-blue eyes, peering down at her from beneath light-colored lashes.

“It’s no trouble, really,” he answered smoothly. Rey lifted her brows in silent surprise when she heard his voice ring out with an accent practically identical to her own. It was a near-melodious baritone, not as low as Kylo’s telltale growl, but not quite a tenor either. Rey tried to focus on the face painted upon the canvas in front of her, inspecting the brush strokes that Van Gogh made of his red beard, but she found herself distracted by the man who was standing next to her.

“Fascinating.” The man beside her murmured as he reached up to thoughtfully trail long fingers across his well-trimmed ginger beard, “You can almost _feel_ how his health had started to crumble at the time Van Gogh painted this work.”

Rey let out a breathy sigh, bringing her focus back to the painting and the artist’s eyes in his self-portrait. Hidden beneath a golden straw hat, Rey felt his haunted gaze hit her square in the heart, the gaze seeming to both plead for her help and simultaneously push her away.

“Yes,” Rey breathed, reaching up to trail her hand against her bare arm to fight an invisible chill that had come over her in the otherwise toasty-warm room, “I can see his pain in his eyes. How tortured he was. So tragic.”

The pair of them stood in silence for another few moments before Rey met his blue eyes for a split second and offered a friendly smile and a nod before turning on her heel to move on to the next gallery.

As she moved from room to room in the massive museum, Rey enjoyed looking over classic works of art from the Renaissance to modern art, wandering wherever her feet would take her. The where didn’t matter, just that she was away from the party.

From time to time, Rey would look up from a portrait she was admiring and spot him – the mysterious red-headed man – from across the room. He was hard to miss, sharply dressed from head to toe in an expensive, well-tailored tuxedo with an expertly coiffed head of red hair, and a sleek beard that was just long enough to be considered noble and not disheveled. His light blue eyes were lined with pale lashes, and they would meet hers for just a moment from under pronounced brows as he gave her a hint of a smile and a slight nod.

Rey continued to go about her night alone, smiling to herself with a hint of amusement when she thought that maybe she kinda-sorta had some sort of companion in the stranger she kept seeing pop up like a ghost.

With subtle sips of her champagne, Rey’s attention was piqued when a flitter of music filtered in from an adjacent hall. At first, she thought it might be a band hired by Republic Publishing to play for the party, but as she drew closer, Rey realized that it was a work of art all its own.

Tucked in the center of a hexagonal atrium, Rey ducked into the black-fabric enclosed space and was instantly surrounded by an open field of green grass that appeared to go on for miles upon miles. A limestone fountain bubbled gently at the center of the astounding visual, but didn’t take away in the slightest from the two pairs of twins that slowly walked around her on the seamless series of video screens.

They sang an ethereal melody about life and death and love while they strolled in slow circles around and around in an endless loop that left Rey completely entranced, until a familiar voice pulled her from her reverie.

“We need to stop meeting like this.”

Rey nearly jumped out of her skin, letting out a soft gasp when she looked up into the amused smile of her ghost. She let out an airy laugh and tossed back a gulp of her bubbly drink to help ease the beating of her heart.

“I was starting to think that I have a shadow! Perhaps it’s time we were properly introduced. I’m Rey.” She stuck out her hand with a smile that he met with his own before grasping his long fingers around hers.

“Yes, I’ve heard of you before, darling. Kylo and I go way back. He was disappointed that he couldn’t join you…he called me, and I called in a favor. I know the publisher and felt in the Christmas spirit, so here I am. Armitage Hux. Lovely to finally meet you.”

Rey’s eyebrows rose high into her hair as she let out a breathy sigh. Her surprise faded quickly as they stood together in the simulation of the Icelandic plains and fell into an easy conversation about his past with Kylo and how he ended up in New York.

He had gone into literature, like Kylo and herself, but had shown an interest in journalism, and after getting his start at the publishing house that his father had helped to start up, he left New York for a time to do offshore publishing and reporting.

“So, what brings you back to New York? Work? Someone special?” Rey toed her heel on the smooth granite floor, balancing the empty champagne flute precariously between her jittery fingers.

“No one special, unfortunately. Work mostly, but…” his eyes danced between hers, “I’m sure I could be persuaded to stay if the right girl came along.”

Rey began to ramble on about any single girls she knew that would be good for him if he was anything like Kylo…and how that there were more dateable women in New York City than anywhere else in the world…and how she was sure that there was someone out there for him…and if he wanted to get married…and where did he live…on and on and on.

The more she talked, the more foolish she felt. Rey filled every pause and breath with more chatter, filling the space with every ounce of nervous energy she’d held now that she was face to face with this person who’d singlehandedly secured her entire life in New York for her. Her job. Her apartment. Everything.

Barely getting in a word edgewise, Armitage watched her with an amused glimmer in his eye, his long arms crossed across his narrow chest as he slowly trailed the tip of his finger along the edge of his bottom lip. He nodded politely from time to time as Rey continued with her prattling. She silently wished that there was _something_ that would just make her _shut the fuck up_ before she completely embarrassed herself and made Armitage run away before she scared him off.

But, he didn’t run.

Armitage continued to watch her intently as she blabbered on and on. Rey wished she could turn off her verbal diarrhea, but the more he stood there enraptured by it, the more she talked…until he did something truly unexpected.

The kiss came out of nowhere. One minute, Rey prattled on and on, murmuring an apology about how she was sure that she was talking far too much. The next, Armitage had softly caged her face with his long fingers and pressed in on her lips with a featherlight kiss. He slowly moved his mouth against hers as his hands shifted in different directions - with one reaching up to tangle in her chestnut waves, and the other curled around to the small of her back.

Armitage’s smell invaded her senses as her hands hovered alongside his arms, unsure if she should touch him or not. His lips tasted of mint and his beard smelled like sweet tobacco. The way he lightly sucked at her bottom lip sent a fission of electricity down to her toes in a way that obliterated every thought but this moment right here. This moment - where all there existed was she and him in the dark with the music, the champagne, and her loneliness.

It was over as quickly as it began. Armitage’s blue eyes glittered as he reached to run his fingers over the ghost of their kiss on his lips with an enthralled smile.

“I’m sorry…I was just curious what that was like.” Armitage mused as he smiled down at the astounded look on her face, moving his hand to trail the line of her jaw. “Kylo is a lucky man. I’m sure he doesn’t deserve you in the slightest.”

Rey stood, open-mouthed and stunned, waiting for something that mildly resembled words to come out of her mouth. Where in the hell did the major conversationalist from moments before disappear to?

He’d kissed her. Full on, open mouth - with fireworks of the most amazing technicolor. And she let him.

Kylo. What was going to happen now? Fuck. He was friends with him. Double-fuck.

What, would they become some weird version of a threesome now that somehow, someway, she’d gotten herself involved with the college friend of her college sweetheart?

…

“What’s a threesome?” Hanna chimed in curiously, pulling Rey back to the present from that moment oh so long ago.

“It’s…uh…um…It’s a game that grownups play…when they’re bored.” Rey pulled the first bullshit answer out of her ass as quickly as she could, hoping that for once, Hanna would accept the answer without propping and move on. The eight-year-old gave her a puzzled look as she rolled over her answer in her mind before shrugging with her narrow shoulders,  
“Whatever. Keep going.”

…

Rey scrambled for something to say or do, her mind reeling as Armitage looked down at her thoughtfully. She anxiously slipped her tongue over her bottom lip, pulling in the taste of his kiss and her champagne.

“I…uh…” Rey lifted her wrist to her eyes to look at the watch she’d left behind in her studio, and looked for the time but only found a smattering of freckles, “Wow, it’s getting so late. It’s been a pleasure meeting you, Mister Hux.”

“A pleasure, most certainly…Rey…” His blue eyes glittered as she slowly backed away, trapped in his amused gaze before turning on her heel to dash away like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight.

Without a second look, Rey ran up the stairs to the main level and stopped abruptly at the coat check, murmuring a breathless “thank you” as she dropped her ticket and hurriedly slipped her arms through the heavy sleeves before running out the door into the blustery December air.

Rey lifted her face to the frigid wind, eyes opened to allow it to wake her up and bring her back to the present, and to cool the fierce heat that bloomed in her cheeks when her mind briefly flitted back to the exhilaratingly foreign feeling of Armitage’s lips pressed against hers.

_Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck_

She was lonely. Starved for touch and affection. That’s all it was. Nothing more. That spark was all a figment of her imagination, one that she concocted to heal her aching heart when she’d been feeling so let down and disappointed when Kylo had delayed visiting yet again.

When it came down to it, Rey knew that their love was deep, true, and everlasting. Something epic like the Greek myths…like Hades and Persephone - as they had been when they first met.

This late in the night, far uptown, the city was filled with an almost brittle silence, with only the occasional shriek of the wind as it whistled northward through the sea of skyscrapers. The tip of Rey’s nose was rosy red and nearly numb when she stepped into the delicious warmth of the subway station, where she anxiously waited for the next train to take her back downtown.

With a massive gust of cold air ruffling the hem of her emerald skirt, a train that was simultaneously grimy and gleaming blew into the station like a bullet, abruptly coming to a stop for a long enough moment for the passengers to get on.

With her gloved hands, Rey fiddled with her BlackBerry, scrolling through emails and messages to see if there was anything at all from Kylo, but it had been hours since she’d sent her last MMS and hadn’t received anything back yet.

The sour feeling in her stomach continued to eat at her as she watched the flicker of lights fly by in the darkened tunnel, leeching out to the tips of her fingers when the train pulled up to her stop and she climbed up the stairs and back into the frigid night air.

Finally out of the reception starved subway, Rey scrolled with the trackpad of her phone to Kylo’s name and pressed the green “call” button, lifting it to her ear as she strode down the narrow sidewalks alongside the shops that were closed up for the night.

The line rang and rang, and Rey’s heart dropped with each sound of the tone. Her loneliness was growing by the second, and what she needed more than anything at that moment was the sound of his voice – reassuring and strong - telling her that everything was going to be alright and that she wasn’t alone.

As she turned the corner onto her block, the hum of the tone in her ear stopped and suddenly he was there.

“Hey beautiful.”

His voice sounded like home, resonating into the air so close by that she could almost reach out and touch him with the tips of her fingers.

Rey’s chin trembled as she blinked back the sudden rush of tears, lifting her face from her feet to try and quell the oncoming onslaught when her gaze landed on her red door…with the broad shoulders and dark hair that she knew by heart leaning against it.

When Rey tried to speak, her voice faltered into breathless, unintelligible whimpers as she stood rooted to the concrete, unable to think, breathe or move. She wanted to tell him she loved him and feel him in her arms but, after their time apart and what had just happened, she was afraid that it would only sound hollow - when Rey knew that she meant it with her whole heart.

With all the times he’d put off coming to New York, Rey was afraid that the man standing before her was merely a figment of her imagination – a mirage in the desert for her touch-starved self - that if she reached out to brush her fingers against him, they would only meet the air and the vision of him would float away on the wind.

Seconds passed while Rey stood there, taking him all in. Black, wool peacoat pulled across his broad chest and a striking red scarf tied just below his Adam’s apple, and all the while, Rey still couldn’t convince herself that he was the same man in the picture frame that she kept next to her bed.

How the sidewalk between them was erased, Rey would never be sure, but one second they were apart and the next, she found herself wrapped up in the warmth of Kylo’s strong arms, with her cheek pressed against his chest. Her tears fell freely then, streaming down her cheeks, gleaming in the silvery moonlight.

One of his hands curled around her waist, while the other carded through her hair as he whispered comforting words in her ear. With each loving touch, more tears fell that Rey didn’t bother reaching up to wipe away. All that mattered now was that she was home in his arms.

Rey felt the warmth of his hand move from her hair to cup the curve of her jaw to lift her tear-strewn face to meet his. The look burning in his honeyed-bourbon eyes held everything that she wanted to say, and the way he brought his plush lips down to hers stole every shred of doubt away – like all their secrets were laid bare to be swept away in the wind, and all that mattered was the spark of love that existed between them.

Together, in their love, Rey was whole again.

*

As the delicate beams of morning light streamed in through the windows of her cozy studio apartment, Rey let out a content hum and slid her leg over Kylo’s frame that was taking up most of the space in her narrow, full-size bed. She was more than grateful for the loss of space and the gain of a human furnace against the bitter cold.

She could hear the sounds of the early morning market crowd on the street below – the clang of the old Chinese grannies and their metal carts as they moved from shop to shop, and the far off sound of a mournful tune playing on an Erhu on the next block over.

Nestling her head against Kylo’s bare chest, a smile bloomed across her freckled face as the entire upper half of her body went on a journey with the steady rise and fall of his chest. Contented with the beat of his heart beneath her cheek, Rey reached up and trailed a finger down the bridge of his long nose.

Kylo let out a sleepy groan and snaked his arms around her waist to pull her closer to his side, nuzzling the soft chestnut curls at her ear.

“What’s that?” He mumbled sleepily, his breath sending a sheet of goosebumps trailing down her arms.

“Mmm?”

“Is that a _white_ dress hanging in your closet?”

Rey turned her head to follow his gaze across the small room, to the clear garment bag with a silk vintage number she’d brought home a few weeks prior.

“Oh, that old thing? I’ve had it for ages…been saving it for a real special occasion.”

“Have you now?” Kylo growled, gripping the bare flesh over her ribs as he flipped her over like a pancake to her back. Rey let out a breathless gasp at the feeling of him pressed between her thighs. He leaned down and pressed a trail of molten kisses along the long column of her throat, eliciting a melody of whimpers and groans from her lips with each one as his hand fell between them to leisurely explore the growing heat at her center. “Could tomorrow possibly be a day like that?”

“The best.” Rey breathed, her lips parting as Kylo travelled up the curve of her jaw to devour every sensuous sound that tumbled from her mouth. She smiled against his mouth, his kiss sending electrifying tingles shooting across every inch of her body and feeding her desire to play.

…

“Mom?”

“Mmm?” Rey blinked slowly in the twinkle light lit room, coming back to the present when Hanna’s small voice summoned her.

“You did the thing again. Got all spacey.”

“Oh…um…I’m sorry. I will try not to let that happen again.” Rey stuttered, embarrassed that she’d lost herself to the past so easily, “Shall I continue, or is it time for bed?”

Hanna gave Rey a knowing look and a lift of her eyebrow.

“Do I have to say? I’m not going anywhere until we get to the end of this thing. It’s not a school night, so you should let me stay up.”

“Oh really?”

“Absolutely. For posterity’s sake.”

“Right. Well then…”

“So…what happened next???”

….

A smile spread across Rey’s crimson-painted lips as Kylo’s face came into view in the mirror behind her as she secured the pearl earring in her ear. He leaned down to press a featherlight kiss at the base of her neck, murmuring against the sensitive flesh,

“Are you ready to head down to City Hall?”

She slowly turned around in his arms, the white silk of her simple dress rustling beneath his long fingers as she lifted her hands to straighten the navy tie at his throat.

“More than you know.”

Rey gave herself one more once over in the mirror, admiring the vintage workmanship of the dress and how there was so much beauty in the simplicity of it. Form fitting sleeves of the most pristine white hugged her arms up to her shoulders.

The dress itself was a simple, yet elegant shape, tucking in at the waist and tapering down ever so slightly to her knees. The finest details were at her wrists, with delicate bunches of flowers embroidered into the fine silk, and a long line of buttons down the center from her collarbone to her waist. Her hair was twisted into a low bun at the nape of her neck, and topped off with a crown of white flowers with a delicate birdcage veil that she pulled over her hazel eyes. Rey topped of the ensemble with a gorgeous pair of blue stilettos, and when she looked in the mirror, she truly felt like a bride.

Kylo slipped her coat over her shoulders, letting his fingers linger on the inside of the collar, the delicate contact sending a shiver down to her toes. He gave her a wide grin as he tangled his fingers with hers and pulled her out the door and down the stairs.

A short train ride later, Rey tucked herself up against the warmth of his body as they stepped up the long staircase of City Hall Station. Beaming into the winter wind, Rey’s cheeks ached from both the cold and her ever-present grin as her stomach fluttered with sheer anticipation when the towering limestone building came into view just across the street.

They stood in line to pick up the marriage license they’d requested the day before, and Rey bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet as the clerk stamped the golden seal on the official cardstock.

Rey stayed glued to Kylo’s side as they were directed up a long set of marble stairs to a plush waiting room with a numbered ticket and their paperwork in hand. She let go of his hand for a split second as she smoothed her skirt before sitting down on the green loveseat, smiling out at the room full of other happy couples.

Rey trailed her fingers up and down the sleeve of Kylo’s black suit, leaning her head against him with a smile. He stiffened beneath her, unlike the relaxed and happy man who had been at her side until they’d gone up the stairs. Her gaze was drawn to his hand that was hovering on his knee, a knee that bounced nervously as he repeatedly curled his fingers into a fist.

“Are you okay?” Rey whispered into the fabric of his sleeve, her heart skipping a beat as she watched his face contemplate an answer, instantly going from a far-off, glazed look to his lopsided smile when his dark eyes met hers.

“Never better, ‘Seph.”

Rey let out a sigh and met his smile with her own, but she couldn’t shake the cold feeling of dread that seeped in from the edges of her consciousness. Her slender fingers pressed into the flesh of his hand, squeezing three times to send a silent “I love you” to him as they patiently waited for their turn.

The minutes ticked by, and the nervous feeling in the pit of Rey’s stomach grew and grew with each second that fell away as she lost herself in the swirling pattern stitched into the bland carpeting beneath her blue stilettos.

A voice rang out from a doorway across from them, announcing their names out into the wide-open room.

“Ren and Niima? You’re up! Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

The officiant chuckled to himself, straightening the wire frames on his nose with a smile before waving them into the room.

Rey stood shakily on her feet, pulling Kylo’s hand with her as she stepped towards the room, finding resistance behind her.

“Rey…wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH! 
> 
> Sorry to leave you hanging, my babes! 
> 
> Take a listen to the [Dancing With Our Hands Tied playlistl](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/77iLgXIZ9BnhP3WAhqzf7r?si=RrZAvdCZTqOGYMp284htWg)  
>  for more hidden hints....


	5. Like Real People Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ghost of a smile broke out across her face with the softest chuckle. He always knew the right thing to say to bring her back from the edge. Tucking a thumb beneath the edge of the envelope flap, Rey tore it open and pulled the heavy piece of cardstock from inside and let her eyes scan the words written on the stark white piece of paper.
> 
> _I want your midnights. In whatever way I can have them. Friends or lovers, I don’t care. As long as it’s me and you._
> 
> “Me and you.” Rey murmured, running her fingers over his signature at the bottom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A HUGE thank you and all the love to my amazing beta, MyJediLife!! You are magic and I adore you!! xoxo
> 
> [Come say hi on Twitter!](twitter.com/kaybohls) I'd love to chat it up with you all!!

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48384853331/in/dateposted/)

 

Rey’s heart dropped to her feet when she looked up at Kylo and found his dark eyes glued to his feet. She caught his hands in her own and brought them to rest against her chest as she took a solid step towards him.

“What is it, Kylo? Are you okay? We don’t have to get married if you don’t want to…you know I’m just happy being together, just you and me.”

“That’s the thing, ‘Seph…” Kylo pulled one of his hands away from hers to anxiously card his fingers through his long, dark hair. When he finally lifted his gaze to meet hers, Rey saw regret shining there, with unshed tears from behind his black eyelashes. He swallowed thickly and reached for her hand again, leaning down to press a desperate kiss against her knuckles before looking up to meet her quizzical gaze once more, “I….I did something…”

Rey yanked her hands away like she had been scalded, stepping back abruptly when she was wracked with short, sharp breaths. Her brain fired up, and a sudden wave of nausea swirled, unrestrained in her empty stomach. Her mind reeled, her whole body felt heavier, and her heart struggled to keep a steady beat.

“Rey…” Kylo pressed, reaching for her with a crestfallen look in his eye. Rey held a palm up to silence him, her hazel eyes wild as she took another step backwards. She couldn’t let him say it, and she’d do anything to buy herself a little more time and go back to that happy morning when they laid together in their afterglow – alone in the paradise that was just she and him. If he said it, it’d be true, and Rey was desperate for more time.

“Please don’t…” She begged, catching her crimson lip between her teeth as she tried to hold back the tears that burned at her eyelashes.

“I slept with someone.”

The words made her feel raw - like the winter wind had blown straight through her skin. They would haunt her and taunt her – replaying like an echo over and over on a tortuous loop.

“Who.”

It wasn’t a question, merely a statement – a collection of information for her own personal record. Who. Who was the one who was important enough, that hungered him enough that he couldn’t wait for her.

It was beyond what had happened had the museum, where she had little control and had ended things before they spiraled out of control. Had she had the choice, it never would have happened. Any regret that had swam in her mind dissipated as soon as she was in Kylo’s arms again. But this. This was something else.

“Bazine.”

The mention of her name - her friend and roommate – sent a flurry of anger to boil deep in her belly. It scorched her like fire, just as destructive as it slowly roiled and churned. The white-hot feeling of it was almost too much, threatening to take over - to make Rey do or say something she was certain she’d regret later.

Her eyes fluttered shut, and she let out a heavy sigh when the clerk called their names once more from the doorway behind them. Rigid with a breathless fury, Rey clenched her fists at her sides and turned her attention towards the man in the door stating clearly in a spiritless tone,  
“There won’t be any wedding today. I apologize for wasting your time.”

When she turned back to Kylo, his dark eyes begged her to stay with a desperately forlorn shadow that washed over his long face as he held out a single hand towards her.

“Rey… _please_.” Barely a whisper, Kylo’s voice cracked as he murmured her name. Every letter was laced with his regret, but it was too late.

Rey took a deep breath and let her eyes slide closed one last time before she reached to her left hand, slipping the glittering diamond ring from her third finger. A single tear slipped past her lashes and took a gravity-propelled trip to the ground, landing with a soft pat on the toe of her sapphire blue stiletto as she lifted her engagement ring and placed it in Kylo’s open palm.

He closed his long fingers around it and pulled it to his chest, pressing his mouth into a thin line as he worked his jaw back and forth to keep his own tears at bay.

“I…I love you.”

Rey’s heart lurched at his words that had held so much incredible meaning for her. As a little girl who grew up without a family of her own, she wished to have someone’s love her entire life. Perhaps, because of that, they meant more to Rey than to anyone else, and the betrayal hurt all the worse because of it.

If love had been enough, if he had loved her enough…they would be in the next room with the clerk who would have pronounced them husband and wife by now.

With a tremble of her chin, Rey murmured the only words she could manage before leaving him, and the moment, behind.

“I know.”

….

“Wow...” Hanna breathed, her hazel eyes filled with sadness as she lifted her red crayon to make a big _X_ over Kylo’s name on her handmade chart, “I can’t believe that Kylo _practiced_ with Bazine. Yuck.”

“I know.” Rey nodded with a distant smile, “Me either.”

“And I was starting to think that he would be good dad material. So, what did you do? Cry? Get mad?”

“A little bit of all those things, actually. People act a little foolish when they’ve been hurt.”

“Chocolate? Ice cream and sad movies?” Hanna leaned forward expectantly, waggling her eyebrows with a smile.

“Beer.”

The mention of the word made her wrinkle her little, freckled nose.

“Gross.”

….  
Rey’s hand gripped the brown paper bag wrapped can in her hands, her eyes swiveling around to watch the passing taxis from her seat on the grungy concrete. She leaned her head against the crimson door and took a long swig of the beer that helped to keep her in her numbed state.

The first thing Rey had done after she fled City Hall was to find the nearest bar to drown her sorrows and dull the sting of her pain. She propped herself up against the bar to revel in the thick, smoky air. Quickly ordering a whiskey, neat, Rey tossed it back as soon as the bartender had finished his pour.

By the third, Rey had begun to feel deliciously numb down to the tips of her fingers, and a lazy smile spread across her face when her BlackBerry lit up with the words “Poe Dameron” written across the screen. Any message was welcome, especially if it was from Poe, as long as it wasn’t Kylo calling her for the millionth time.

He’d nearly called her off the hook as soon as she disappeared down the street, thankful for the busy New York City sidewalks and the camouflage they provided her when she’d been desperate to make a quick getaway.

Her anger had still been palpable - and would probably stay that way for some time…there was no way in hell that she was ready to face him now.

A flurry of messages came through between unanswered phone calls that only fueled her indignation.

_I’m sorry._

_I love you._

_Please forgive me._

_I was drunk and stupid. It was a mistake._

_I just missed you so badly._

_Please._

_I’m back at your place. I’ll wait for you._

_Please say something. Tell me you’re okay._

_Rey. I love you. Talk to me._

Then there were the voicemails. Rey had only been brave enough to listen to the very last one. Her eyes, heavy with drink, lazily slipped closed as she lifted her BlackBerry to her ear, and she let out a strangled sob when his sorrowful voice came through the speaker.

“I know you’re angry. I don’t expect you to be anything else. Just know that I’m sorry, and I love you. I’m going to give you the space you want, just…please don’t shut me out forever. I’m heading back to Chicago tonight, but I talked to your neighbor to keep an out for you. Please…just let me know that you’re okay. Okay…I love you ‘Seph. Okay…bye.”

She slammed down the phone and promptly ordered another drink to drown the growing ache in her heart.

Lifting the phone back up a little too close to her face to read Poe’s message, Rey’s drunken smile grew as her eyes drifted over his words.

_Hey Cupcake. Where ya at? Can I send a taxi?_

Rey stuck her tongue out in concentration as she mashed a series of letters in reply.

_HI coffe guy no taxi nesicary, im getin on train soon after I fetch togo cup_

With a serious salute and a slurred “a pleasant afternoon to you, kind sir,” Rey slid off her barstool and swayed slightly on her stilettos as she made her way out the door. Freshly lit cigarette in hand, she found a pint of beer at a bodega close by and somehow found the proper subway line that would take her back to Chinatown.

As she wandered down her block, narrowly dodging the tourists and grannies with their carts full of the day’s shopping, Rey made it to her red door before giving up entirely and planting herself on the grimy stoop.

Moments or hours passed, Rey wasn’t sure which from her perch on the ground. Her head lolled around when a pair of familiar sneakers sidled up beside her. A lazy grin spread across her features when Poe’s tanned face came into view.

“Hiya, Sunshine. You’re looking kinda rough, how about I take you upstairs?”

He snaked an arm around her waist and hoisted her from the grimy sidewalk, leading her across the narrow sidewalk to his own door. When Rey giggled at the sight of the stairs - like it was a mountain she needed to climb -Poe reached down and scooped her up against his chest.

“Oh, you _lovely_ man.” Rey crooned as she wrapped her arms around his neck, “I would’ve bodged it, to be sure.”

“Christ, did the liquor make you _more_ British?”

“I…I may have had a-a couple down at the pub. Yes…yeah, no…I’m pissed.”

“You’ve got that right. Come on, get in.” Poe set her back down on her feet when they reached the top of the stairs and opened the door to his apartment with a jiggle of the door handle. Rey stumbled in after him and immediately pried her blue heels from her feet with a loud groan, tumbling down onto the sofa.

“Christ, that feels so much better.”

“Fancy a’cuppa?” Poe laughed, mocking her extreme britishness in her drunken state.

“Actually, I’d love one, thank you for asking.”

“I thought you could use some caffeine to sober up a bit. I mean…it _is_ barely dinnertime.”

“That’s all? Damn. I thought I’d nearly drank the day away. Oh well. Here’s to trying!”

After a couple healthy sized mugs of strong tea, Rey finally pulled herself from the spot she’d claimed on Poe’s couch to wander about his space.

As long as she’d know him, they’d mostly hung out in public, and Rey had never stepped foot inside his apartment.

It was long and narrow like hers, with a bed tucked into the back corner with a tall pair of bookcases acting as a wall between his bedroom and the living room, which housed an impossibly comfortable couch and flat screen on the opposite wall, with a vintage record player and a stack of 45’s in wooden crates beneath it.

Everything was sleek greys and chromes, with bits of wood to add just the right masculine feel that went well with Poe’s personality: warm and welcoming.

As she looked over his books on the shelves, Rey’s eyes wandered to a picture of a beautiful woman with the most gorgeous caramel skin and luxurious black curls, holding a little boy with a mop of dark hair and dimples that looked oh so familiar.

“Is this your mom?”

“Shara.” Poe called out from the tiny kitchen at the front of the apartment, pausing to toss back a glass of tequila, “Yeah, that’s my mom.”

He strode over to her side with another drink in hand. When Rey gave him a quizzical look as she sipped her tea, Poe shrugged.

“What? I’m trying to catch up to you, drunky. It’s against the law, and _really_ fucking depressing, to drink alone.”

Rey laughed, feeling the heavy weight lift from her heart with each passing moment in his presence. Her gaze wandered over his things, taking in the stacks of books about aviation and world travel – along with a row of velvet boxes. Rey gingerly picked one up and let out a soft gasp when she found a stunning vintage ring – an oval emerald surrounded by a halo of glittering diamonds – tucked lovingly inside. She opened the next and the next, finding more rings that were more like sisters than twins, and lined them all up in a row until she counted four altogether.

“So…why do you have so many engagement rings?” Rey pressed, her curiosity getting the best of her, “Are you planning a future in polygamy that I don’t know about? I like the coordination.”

Poe let out a soft chuckle, stepping up against her next to the shelf to lift one of the rings from it’s home, nestled safely in its box.

“When I turned eighteen, my mom gave me her engagement ring. Told me that it was for the girl she knew I would marry. I had my opinions about marriage at the time, you know, typical headstrong teenager. She had it engraved inside the band - _Written in the stars_ \- like she knew my future or something. Naturally, I had bigger ideas and interests than getting married when I was that age, and it honestly kind of pissed me off that she’d give me a piece of girls jewelry as a present. Which is tragic, because it was the last gift she ever gave me.”

“Why?”

“She died a month later in a plane crash.”

“Jesus. That’s terrible, I’m so sorry, Poe.”

He let out a deep sigh as he ran his fingers over the gleaming green stone.

“Anyways, when I moved away for school, my dad sold the house, and somewhere along the way, the ring got lost. So now, whenever I pass a pawn shop – I look for it. I know I’ll never find it, but it’s sorta become this…thing. It’s dumb.”

“It’s not dumb. So…what are all these, then?”

“Sometimes, when I find one that’s similar with an inscription, I keep it. Look-“ he turned the ring in between his fingers and held it up to the light, _“With Love and Hopes and Dreams.”_

Poe deposited the ring back into its box and wandered back to the couch, landing with a huff in the corner, patting the spot next to him for her to come sit by him. Rey could tell the tequila was starting to affect him, as the blinking of his black eyelashes became slower and more deliberate, while the tea helped make her feel a little more human than she had an hour prior.

“So,” Rey stated as she plopped down next to him, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Poe let out a bark of laughter, rubbing at his eyes as his smile grew.

“I got news for you, Sunshine. I’ve already been there and done that. That ship has sailed.”

“It’s never too late. I mean, you’re too smart to be doing tours and fetching coffee all your life. So. What is it?”

“I’ve been saving money…I wanna go all those places that I’ve read about. See the world.”

“Mmmhmm, mmhmm…so what’s stopping you?”

“Well…I don’t know.” Poe sighed, running his palm over the shadowy scruff on his face.

“How’s Whatsherface?”

“Tatiana.”

“Right. That’s what I said.”

“Mmhmm.”

“You should dump her. I know it’s not really any of my business, but you’re too good for her. You are.”

“Who says that I didn’t already?”

Poe met her gaze with an amused glint in his eye and took a slow drink from his glass, draining the clear liquid with one final swallow.

“Do you know what’s great?” Rey mused as she tucked her feet beneath her and snuggled deeper into the sofa.

“What’s that?”

“That we don’t have to worry about flirting or being attracted to each other or anything. We can just…you know. Be us. Be friends. No pressure.”

“Yeah. The coolest.” Poe murmured as his eyes lingered on hers with a lazy, increasingly tipsy smile.

“Yeah…”

They stared at each other in an odd sort of trance for a beat before Rey rapidly found herself falling into his arms, with her mouth on his in a demanding and fiery kiss, steeped in a wild passion. Rey’s hands worked their way across his body as Poe’s tongue delved expertly into her mouth, dancing with hers in an instinctual dance that felt like something they were always meant to do.

Rey found herself melting against him with each intoxicating pass of his tongue and nibble on her lip. With each kiss came the smooth touch of her body, tentatively exploring each other in their alcohol fueled reverie. The sober her tucked into the back of her mind screamed out that this was a mistake, and to stop before it went too far and they tumbled over a line that they would never be able to come back from, but her body betrayed her with each breathless whimper, and in the way her fingers curled against the scruff along the sharp line of his jaw.

It was like it was some secret code, something that millions of years of evolution had written for them, a seed of love and an invitation to learn about the other. They’d always seem to find each other by chance, from her apartment window to the office…constantly looking for a reason to come together to talk…a chance to be alone. But here, now, in this drunken frenzy, they finally had a chance to get to know each other and communicate without the need for words.

Poe’s expert mouth moved effortlessly from her mouth to her jaw, and Rey felt his warm breath on the column of her throat as he brushed his lips across her golden, gleaming flesh. Each one left an electrifying, scorching mark as he made contact every single time. His hand tangled in her hair, freeing it from what was left of her bun as his kisses became more urgent, and Rey felt herself become increasingly breathless as his hand curled around her waist.

She followed his lead, reaching down to tug the hem of her white dress up to her hips to slide her knee over his lap, pulling herself closer to him. Rey captured her lip between her teeth, trying her best to contain the sounds that kept coming from her over and over, and Poe’s kisses wandered into her hair and down the freckled flesh of her shoulders as he slowly unzipped the pale fabric.

Continuing their exploration of her body, Poe’s dexterous hands slid up under the hem of her skirt, reaching around to palm the curve of her ass. In a single, fluid motion, Poe lifted her from the couch, and his lips never left hers for a second while he took her to his bed to give them both what they knew they so desperately craved.

 

The next morning when Rey opened her eyes in the dimly lit room, she squinted in the delicate beams of light that streamed between the dark drapes. Through her bleary vision, she saw shimmers dancing downwards in the light, and couldn’t be sure if it was her hangover, dust, or some sort of hallucination tricking her into seeing things.

Running her tongue from her dry mouth over her cracked lips, Rey let out a groan as she rolled away from the light to ease the ache in her skull. It ebbed and flowed like a cold tide, but the pain was ever constant. Right away she regretted the whiskey she’d drank the day away with, understanding right then just why they called it a hangover - since the black clouds of her headache hovered over her head with no intention of clearing away until the day’s end.

Reaching beneath her to curl the sheet around her chest, Rey slowly sat up, her head complaining with each inch she gained away from her pillow. With a slight wobble, she pushed herself to stand and weaved her way to the bathroom.

In the doorway, faced with a foreign pattern of subway tile, Rey’s stomach dropped to her feet as she held onto the frame for dear life. She slowly turned around to look across the room. Her breath hitched in her throat as she stifled a cry when her eyes flickered over the empty teacup on the coffee table…her blue stilettos by the doorway, and her white wedding dress in a heap on the floor.

_No no no no…._

Rey took a tentative step forward to get a better view of the bed she’d woken up in, and a sudden wave of nausea added to the misery of the hangover that pummeled her skull.

Her heavy eyelids fell shut, allowing a stream of tears to fall free when she saw Poe’s peacefully sleeping face in the space next to where she had been. His lips were softly parted, and the thatch of black curls on his head were wild with sleep, hanging in disarray over his pronounced brow. His face twitched in his sleep, and the ghost of a smile curved up from the corners of his mouth, making Rey’s stomach instantly lurch and gurgle once more.

She dashed back into the bathroom and retched over the toilet, trying her best to leave what was left of the whiskey and all her regret behind in the toilet. The tile around her spun, like the whole room had been put on a carousel that was gaining momentum by the second. What did she do? How on earth were they going to come back from this?

Regret washed over her like long, icy waves on the beach during winter, each one sending a shiver down her spine and fresh tears slipping down to her bile flavored lips. No matter how much she wanted to, there was no going back, no going down a different path – no way to make it right.

Making a split second decision, Rey gathered herself up off the floor and tiptoed across the floor as quietly as she could manage, sweeping her dress and underwear up off the floor in a flash. With one last look across the narrow apartment at Poe’s sleeping form, a breathless sob slipped past her lips as she closed the door and ran down the stairs.

After dashing through the crimson door just steps away on the street, thankful for the fact that no one in New York City noticed _anything_ \- let alone a girl wrapped up in a grey sheet skipping from one side of the block to the other- Rey sank down on the other side of the door in her own apartment.

Her eyes were glassy with tears as she looked around the room, seeing Kylo everywhere and smelling him in the air, thinking back to only hours before when they had still been happy…they still had been together…she was still in the dark about what had happened…and she hadn’t yet drank her sorrows away to end up in bed with her best fucking friend.

If someone ever wondered what a dumpster fire of a life looked like, Rey was sure that hers was it.

She spent the next few days holed up in her apartment, curled up under a blanket on her tiny sofa as she watched the snow finally arrive in New York City just in time for Christmas to come.

The holiday came and went, and along with it were empty takeout containers and B-rated horror movies that kept Rey company in her lonely little bubble of regret…at least, that’s what Rey wished she had.

Kylo called at least twice a day, leaving long-winded voicemails each time. Rey would listen to the phone ring from the safety of her bed, waiting anxiously for the machine to pick it up. Most of the time it would be a short message, one with mumbled apologies and how much he missed her. How badly he wished he would have done more sooner. Sometimes it would be a series of drunkenly strung together words begging her to forgive him and come home.

“I already am home,” Rey whispered.

The more she thought about it, the more Rey wondered if it was for the best. It could be the very best way to get to know herself all over again, and find out who she was without him. She had so many dreams that were so different from his. His kept him firmly anchored in the Midwest – something that Kylo had always seemed less than thrilled at the idea of giving up. In fact, they’d jumped the gun so quickly about getting married that Rey hadn’t realized that they’d skipped the whole “who would live where” part.

When she’d first come to New York, she thought she’d go back home to Chicago as soon as it was over, but she found herself rapidly falling in love with the city - as so many people did, and at this point – she really couldn’t see herself leaving.

At what point would they both stop supporting each other as brilliant and vivid individuals with passion and drive, and start to resent the other for keeping them from what they loved? She was sure that it would quickly go from the amazing technicolor it was when they met to something more muted and confused as they morphed into some terrible compromise. That’s not something Rey was willing to compromise on.

The voicemails continued to come through day after day until they morphed into unanswered phone calls - and then they stopped altogether.

Poe, on the other hand, was far more persistent. He skipped the phone calls and texts, and went straight to knocking on her door. The first time was only hours after she’d foolishly run away, and his voice was both hurt and unwavering as he spoke to her through the door.

“Hey Sunshine…I know you’re there, I could hear McHottie or whatever his name is from down the stairs. You’re going to wear out your TiVo if you watch Grey’s Anatomy too many times…”

Rey curled her knees up to her chest beneath the thick blanket of her oversized Chicago University hoodie, thinking that, if she could stay quiet enough, she could stay in her miserable little bubble and endure her guilt and her heartbreak all alone. There was no way she could face him…not now…not after what had happened.

Memories of their alcohol-soaked mistake had come back in a series of flashes throughout the day, and each one sent her head reeling all over again.

The way his hands moved and molded her body, curling his fingers in her chestnut hair as his mouth roamed across the column of her throat, and down down down…

The way she peeled the shirt from his shoulders, letting her fingers wander over the smooth muscle of his chest. His skin was like smooth caramel, and her hands ached to explore every inch of the delectable surface.

The smile that spread across his face, summoning the dimples in his cheeks as he laid her down in his bed, his espresso eyes glittering with something…some semblance that she was far more than just a friend to him, and the thought of it now sent tears streaming down her freckled cheeks.

Of all the things in her life that Rey was willing to give up, like smoking and the ever-constant barrage of junk food that seemed to find its way into her cupboards over and over, and maybe even sarcasm…Poe Dameron would never be on her list. Now, as the silence stretched between them, the stream of tears grew more constant, falling freely onto the pillow Rey clutched to her chest as she realized how selfish she’d been.

One second passed. Then two. And three. Her guilt hammered away at her soul with each beat of her heart, hitting her over and over like a sledgehammer. Rey heard the quiet _thud_ of his forehead against the door, and could almost feel his sigh as it slipped past his lips.

“Look…I get it. Alcohol makes us do stupid shit, I know I’m not innocent in that. I…I understand, I really do. You were in this great big thing and I….I’m not that for you. I just want to know you’re okay. I, uh, I brought you some oxtail soup from Mrs. Zhao’s that she swears will cure anything, and we both know that you’ll starve if you’re holed up in here much longer. Just…if you need anything, you know where to find me.”

Rey waited until she heard his feet go all the way down the three flights of stairs, and the subtle sound of the outside door to the sidewalk slamming shut.

She swung her legs out over the side of the bed, pressing her bare toes against the cold floor to tiptoe to the door. With a flip, turn, and click of a series of locks, Rey pulled it open with a creak and let out a sad sigh when she saw the brown paper bag set on her yellow welcome mat, with a solitary daisy balanced over the top.

She didn’t deserve him, not in the slightest, and he didn’t deserve the hurt she’d caused him…but here he was, being as thoughtful and kind as ever in spite of it.

He came again the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that. Each time, he made a similar plea – to just open the door and let things go back to the way they were. Each time, he brought an offering of food, always enough for the two of them. Noodles. Dumplings. Bagels and a generous helping of lox and a _schmear_. Her favorite Halal. He’d even gone uptown to her favorite bakery to bring her her favorite outlandish pastry. Each time, she froze from her perch on her bed and let her regret eat at her until he retreated back down the stairs.

New Years Eve came, and along with it, Poe knocking at her door.

“Rey. Come on. Please. You can’t stay in there forever. You’re going to run out of sick days eventually. What’s gonna happen when you’re actually sick?”

“Aren’t I?” She murmured, clapping her fingers over her mouth as soon as the words tumbled out.

“Let me in, Rey, come on.” Poe pleaded with a jiggle of the door handle, his voice faltering from the effortlessly cool guy with each syllable. When she retreated back into her self-imposed cone of silence, Rey could feel the heaviness of his sigh through the metal of her front door. “Listen. Holdo is hosting a party tonight at The Empire uptown. Come out of hiding. I’m good. We’re good. Just…don’t be alone on New Years Eve. It’s a themed thing, so…I’m just gonna leave this here in case you change your mind. Please… _change your mind._ ”

Like she’d done so many days prior, Rey waited for Poe’s footsteps to fade, and the downstairs door to slam shut. After undoing the line of locks on her door, she tentatively pulled it open and let out a breathy sigh.

A single bottle of champagne sat on her happy, yellow doormat, with a white box tied with a crimson ribbon. Crouching down to the floor, Rey tucked the heavy glass bottle beneath her arm, gingerly tucking the tips of her fingers beneath the bottom edge of the white box. The weight of it surprised her as she lifted it from the floor and stood up to go back inside.

Setting the box on her narrow coffee table, Rey plopped herself back into the comfortable hole she’d worn in the center of the loveseat, and chewed on her lip as she eyed the box like a ticking time bomb. Rey sat there staring at it for…well, she didn’t know how long. The light bent and shifted through the apartment as the time ticked on, casting long shadows against the exposed brick as the sun sank below the horizon.

Night came, and with it came the sounds of laughter in the streets as the crowds migrated to midtown for the ball drop and all the New Years festivities. Each voice that rang out, and every loud burst of a firework made Rey sink further into the sofa as the time ticked by.

Nine…nine-thirty…ten…ten-thirty…eleven…

When the clock rounded to quarter-past, Rey finally leaned forward and caught the edge of the red ribbon between her fingers and pulled. Dizzy with a heavy sense of anticipation, Rey curled her fingertips under the lid and lifted it from the box to deposit it on the seat next to her.

The sight of what was inside took Rey’s breath away, and she let out a sigh as she ran her fingers over the pale silver fabric. Rows upon rows of delicate fringed beadwork covered the entire dress, woven in elegant art deco scallops like a glittering chandelier. It was the palest shade of brilliant silver that glittered like freshly fallen snow in the morning light. So fair was the color that it was nearly white, drawing her attention immediately to the dingey remains of her wedding dress that hung in her closet, and the sad failure and heartbreak it represented.

A small, white envelope caught her eye from the center of the neatly-folded bodice. With shaking fingers, Rey picked it up and flipped it over to the back where she saw Poe’s hasty scrawl over the seam-

_Relax. It’s just a dress._

The ghost of a smile broke out across her face with the softest chuckle. He always knew the right thing to say to bring her back from the edge. Tucking a thumb beneath the edge of the envelope flap, Rey tore it open and pulled the heavy piece of cardstock from inside and let her eyes scan the words written on the stark white piece of paper.

_I want your midnights. In whatever way I can have them. Friends or lovers, I don’t care. As long as it’s me and you._

“Me and you.” Rey murmured, running her fingers over his signature at the bottom. Poe. Her best friend. The one who saw through the walls she’d put up, and refused to let them stay there. The one who called her out on all her crap. The one who stayed.

A sudden rush of anxiety flooded her senses as she lifted her eyes up to the clock on the wall.

Fuck.

It was nearly eleven-twenty, and the Empire was all the way Uptown in Lincoln Square…finding a taxi and getting through the Midtown traffic would be an absolute nightmare.

But.

The little voice in Rey’s head told her that she would regret it forever if she didn’t put her big girl pants…err…dress on and go face him.

In a mad dash like a madwoman, Rey flew around the tiny studio as quickly as she could, praying as she swiped a fair peach lipstick over her lips and mascara on her lashes that her friend would still be there waiting once she got there. If she got there.

Rey pulled the delicately beaded dress over her head, letting out a sigh as the creamy sheets of the silken lining slipped over her shoulders, hugging every curve in soft, sensual kisses. With every movement it shimmered, sending bits of light refracting away from her to bounce off the walls.

At the bottom of the box were a pair of white gloves that Rey pulled up and over her elbows, and a strip of beaded lace that she tied around her head to complete the ensemble. She didn’t bother to think of how Poe had thought of every last detail as she slipped on a pair of t-strap shoes she happened to have tucked away in her closet, running her gloved hands over the buckle as she let the beaded dress flutter down past her ankles.

Giving herself one last look in the mirror before she dashed out the door, Rey took a deep, settling breath as she took in the impossibly beautiful woman looking back at her. The dress hugged the curve of her shoulders, with airy strings of beadwork trailing down like delicate shoulder chandeliers. The fabric followed the curve of her waist to her hips before falling to the floor in glittering sheets of scalloped beads. She didn’t feel like Rey, it seemed like she was the ghost of Daisy Buchanan, about to set off and follow the green light at the end of her dock to reunite with Jay Gatsby after too many years apart.

Flying down the stairs as carefully as she could with the sheets of heavy beads trailing after her, Rey held the skirt around her knees to keep it away from the years of grime. When she pushed open the crimson door to the sidewalk, a gust of wind blew in, bringing with it swirls of snow that danced in glittering whirls around her and stuck to her eyelashes.

The streets were frosted like a birthday cake with the fresh layer of snow, wrapped up like a winter wonderland to start off the new year with a blank slate. How fitting, after what the last few days had brought, that this fresh start was literally sprawled out in front of her.

New York City so far downtown in Chinatown felt like a ghost town, with only the occasional car driving by on the snow-packed streets. Rey danced on the balls of her feet with her hand in the air, hollering out a desperate plea when she saw a glimpse of yellow at the end of the block.

“TAXI!”

Alone in the warm glow of the Mandarin covered storefronts, disappointment pulled at Rey’s heart as the winter wind licked at her skin when the lone taxicab turned the corner at the far end of the street. She could have been there by now if she hadn’t so stubbornly stayed in her miserable little bubble. They could be together, happy amongst those in the chattering crowd as they counted down to midnight, a midnight that was getting heartbreakingly close.

In the nearly deserted street, Rey leaned up against a cold lamppost and turned her face up into the yellow light that shone down onto the sidewalk. With a deep sigh, Rey reached up to pull the bauble from her ears, ready to admit defeat and turn back to go upstairs when she heard the telltale screech of the subway through the grates below her feet.

…

“ _Mom…_ ” Hanna breathed, her face lit up like it was Christmas morning, “You sound like Cinderella on the way to the ball. Poe was like your…your fairy godmother.”

“Yeah, he just forgot the whole pumpkin carriage bit.”

“Did you…did you make it?” The little girl’s face was filled with anxiety as she waited for her mother’s answer.

….

Rey emerged, breathless, from the Lincoln Center subway station and dashed across the street to the dark brick hotel on the opposite corner. Her eyes flitted across the clocktower at the center of a narrow park between Broadway and 66th, her heart sinking when she saw the time.

_12:45_

Rey clutched the delicate beads on her skirt above her knees to help her run faster across the block, not caring for a second that she was jaywalking. All that mattered was that she made it to that rooftop before it was too late.

She passed groups of girls carrying their discarded stilettos as she tumbled into the lobby, barely taking a moment to catch her breath as she slid in the narrow gap of the closing elevator door.

Capturing her bottom lip anxiously between her teeth, Rey silently begged for the old elevator to go faster as it laggardly brought her to the rooftop bar.

When the lift stopped with a ping, the gold doors slid open and revealed the remnants of what looked to be a spectacular New Years Eve party. Most of the partygoers were long gone, but left behind was a carpet of gold and silver glitter that coated the floor along with discarded party hats and blowers.

Coldplay’s _Yellow_ came over the loudspeaker as Rey wandered out of the lift to the outdoor party deck, finding herself instantly awash in a red glow coming from the towering neon sign reading _Hotel Empire_ that loomed over the entire rooftop.

Bathed in the soft crimson light, dressed to the nines in a sleek tuxedo and a white dinner jacket, was Poe – with a look reserved just for her.

He slowly stood up from the cocktail table he had been leaning on in the same casual way he did on everything, Poe’s eyes never leaving hers for a second as he sauntered towards her. Rey’s heart hammered as he drew closer, trying to find the exact words to say to make up for what she’d done.

“Hey.” Poe murmured when they were finally close enough to speak over the music.

“Hi.” Rey whispered, swallowing thickly as she summoned her voice, “Poe…listen…I’m sorry about the other night.”

“Rey, stop. It’s okay…really. I mean, besides…you and I would probably be like cats and dogs.” The corner of Poe’s mouth curled up into an amused grin, and Rey knew he was doing that thing where he knew _exactly_ what to say to make her feel better.

“You don’t have to do that…make excuses for what happened.” Rey mumbled, but Poe pressed on.

“Oil and water. Sandpaper and bare ass cheek.”

“Gross.”

“You’d be the ass.”

“Ugh, no thank you.”

Poe shrugged, his grin growing wider by the second.

“I mean…I’d be honored to have that position, but maybe that’s just me. Lennon and McCartney?”

“They were good while it lasted I suppose…but then they couldn’t even be friends after it was all over.” Rey pressed, feeling lighter than she had in days.

“I think we can at least manage that much, Sunshine. Come on, let’s dance.” Poe snaked his hand around her waist and pulled her flush against his chest, singing along with Chris Martin as they gently swayed from side to side.

_You know, you know I love you so. You know I love you so._

They danced together in the warm glow of the Hotel Empire sign, caught in the quiet moment that was exactly what Rey needed after everything that had happened, and Rey felt safe there in his arms with her cheek pressed against his.

When the third song came to an end and the DJ started to pack up for the night, Poe wound his fingers between hers and pulled the line of his jaw against hers, until they were very nearly nose to nose. Rey found herself completely breathless, not sure if and what was going to come next, and if it was what she wanted….

She let out a sigh of relief when he drifted to the side and pressed a soft kiss against her temple and murmured quietly,  
“You ready to get out of here?”

“You bet. This dress is beautiful, but I’m desperate for my sweatpants.”

Poe threw his head back and let out a deep laugh, his dimple crinkling creases in his cheek as he held her out and pushed her into a music-less spin with his free hand on her waist.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough sweatpants for at least half a lifetime?”

“Never.”

They were full of effortless laughter – just like they always were – as they made their way down in the lift to the lobby. Across the street, covered in a blanket of fresh snow, was the famed Lincoln Center, who’s Revson fountain was silent for the night – it’s normal nighttime glow leaving the entire square eerily quiet.

The snow-covered trees stood like the ballet dancers who performed there, poised to show the world their glittering strength, a strength that remained long after their leaves had fallen and the snow had weighed down their branches.

The wind boldly wound its way between the buildings, instantly cutting Rey to the bone. When she let out a shivering breath, Poe jumped into action, sliding his white tuxedo jacket off his broad shoulders to sling over hers.

Rey curled the fabric that still held his warmth around her, begging the wind to hit pause for only a moment as she watched Poe miraculously flag down a passing taxi in a blink of an eye.  
As she slid across the back seat, Rey practically melted into a puddle once she was ensconced in the delicious warmth that the cab provided from the blasting heaters.

Poe ducked his head inside and slammed the door behind his shiny dress shoe, keeping his attention on the driver for a moment to inform him of their destination.

“Canal and Mulberry, please. Thanks, buddy.”

He looked back at her with a smile as he reached down to curl his fingers around her hand. Rey instinctually leaned her head down on his shoulder with a sigh as she felt three distinct squeezes around her fingers.

Rey knew he loved her…perhaps more than he should. It felt good, and made her feel whole with the warmth of him next to her cheek and the way her hand felt tucked into hers. No, it wasn’t the way she imagined it, and it wasn’t like what she had with Kylo – with the great burning passion that they had shared- but she had Poe had something special all their own. When she had felt isolated and alone, Poe made her feel like she had a home…that she had a family. And while the possibility to love him back in the same way he loved her existed, Rey knew in her heart that after what she had with Kylo…she wasn’t ready for that - and she didn’t know if, when, and with who she would be.

It would take time and patience and healing…and it would have to be a man of a special caliber to make her feel that way again. In her mind, Rey conjured someone prince-like. Chivalrous. Kind. All the things a little girl would pluck from a storybook that would be next to impossible to find in real life.

There’s no way she already had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeek! Stay tuned for next time! 
> 
> Thank you so so much for sticking with me on this journey!! I can't wait to peel back more of the layers and reveal more clues!! 
> 
> Thank you so much for every comment and kudo...the response to this fic has truly filled my heart with joy!!
> 
> [Take a listen to the Dancing With Our Hands Tied PLAYLIST](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/77iLgXIZ9BnhP3WAhqzf7r?si=f2jkF2z7Tj62bp_GPjUFpw) for more clues!! 
> 
>  
> 
> xoxo KB


	6. Fairytale in New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a boyish grin, Armitage pulled his cellphone from inside his jacket and held it out to her, and Rey couldn’t help but return his smile with one of her own as she punched in her contact information. He let out a long, slow breath when she handed it back to him, marveling at her name on the screen with a swipe of his thumb, “You know, I thought that this phone was shit and now, suddenly, it is my most prized possession.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A MASSIVE thank you to my incredible beta and force-bonded twin, MyJediLife. I would be lost without you!! 
> 
> To Brownie for letting me spew all my thoughts all over you and for being the best, most enthusiastic cheerleader. You had me at piccolo. 
> 
> Thank you THANK YOU to all my amazing readers. Your comments and continued speculation fuel me and FILL MY HEART. I can't wait to hear what you have to say after this chapter!!
> 
> Come say hi on [Twitter!!](twitter.com/kaybohls) I would love to chat it up with you!

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48707041552/in/dateposted/)

 

Hanna sat forward on her blankets, practically throwing herself onto her stomach, setting her chin on the heels of her hands as she gently waved her feet back and forth.

“So...now that we’ve crossed Kylo off the list...that leaves Poe. Maybe Armitage...anyone else that should go on this list, Mum?”

Rey laughed to herself as she reached out with her fingers to tuck a stray ribbon of her dark, curly hair behind Hanna’s ear with a laugh and a smile at the little Britishisms that snuck through in her words.

“No, darling, I made sure that I was really, _really_ busy after that winter…”

“Busy?” Hanna didn’t look convinced.

“Yes. _Busy_. Republic Publishing House started a smaller imprint and put me in charge of it, so I was scouting authors and reading drafts like crazy. You wouldn’t believe the big authors that I helped get to print for the first time.”

The little girl pursed her lips and gave Rey an impartial stare with the tap of her finger on her small chin and a subtle lift of a single brow.

“Yes, yes, that’s all very interesting, Rey, but what about boyfriends? What about Daddy?”

Rey let a long breath slip past her lips with a sigh.

“Well, after a while...probably a year or so? I started dating again, but nothing really serious. I wasn’t quite there. Kylo was a...a great love, and my heart hurt for a really long time.”

“What about Poe? What happened to him?”

Rey motioned for Hanna to get back under the covers, pushing the blankets around her legs like an adorable burrito.

“The summer after Kylo, he broke up with his terrible girlfriend and got that dream of his…”

“He went to see the world?”

“You bet. He traveled all over the world, and the entire time he was gone, he sent me postcards from _everywhere_. We got to know each other on a whole other level and became better friends than we ever were before.”

“Okay, cool. _Friends_. Got it,” Hanna performed a dramatic wink, slowly closing one of her hazel eyes with a toothy grin as she pantomimed a set of quotation marks with her fingers, “He’s still on the list.”

“You are ridiculous, my darling,” Rey laughed, leaning an elbow onto the mattress, “It was 2007, and Steve Jobs was king of the world when he made this big announcement, and suddenly, everyone had this thing called an iPhone…”

*

Rey strode slowly down the paved pathway, taking a deep breath as she walked beneath the thousands upon thousands of fresh blossoms on every stem of every branch in the trees that dotted Central Park. Another winter had come and gone, leaving behind the dark grey days with too little sunshine for her soul. The passing of the time and the early springtime rain fed the city with new life, as it did year after year, carpeting every surface that wasn’t made of concrete and steel with lush greens and delicate shades of pink.

A warm breeze flitted through the brand-new blossoms, carrying the sweet scent through the park in a delicate dance that brought softly curled ribbons of Rey’s chestnut hair along with it.

The spring was her favorite time of year, every corner she looked at bursting with new life as everything awakened from a long winter’s sleep. She had been asleep for so long, it seemed, stuck in a murky haze that her life had been blanketed with after that fateful December day when her life had been turned upside down. 

She lived in her own winter fog for a little too long, soaking up the rays of light that her friends would shed upon her, bringing her out of it little by little until one day, Rey felt reborn in a springtime that was all her own.

 

Sipping at her flat white with a bob of her head as Ingrid Michaelson crooned _The Way I Am_ through her earbuds, Rey turned a corner and set her eyes on her favorite destination for a Saturday afternoon.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art arose from the treeline. It was like a monolithic shrine to the priceless works of art that were housed inside. 

Rey followed her feet around the corner of the large, limestone building, depositing her empty cup into the trash bin and climbing the famed steps to the front doors. 

With a flash of her membership pass and a smile, she bypassed the long line of tourists and stepped into the vast, gleaming great hall. She lifted her eyes to the lofty arches that framed the space, feeling the all too familiar bubble of excitement that arose every time she stepped through the legendary museum’s doors. 

She ran her fingers over the scarlet cover of the paper map she snagged from the information desk, letting her eyes shift over the words before tucking it beneath her arm. Rey had been here enough that she didn’t need a map anymore, but the fresh photograph featuring a special exhibit that had just opened thrilled her beyond any regular Saturday visit. 

With another trip up a grand staircase, Rey turned a marbled corner into a gallery and let out a soft sigh as her eyes were instantly drawn to an incredible collection of works by the artist Gustav Klimt - but to one piece in particular.

Rey had arrived early enough in the day that the upstairs of the museum was still relatively uncrowded, and she was alone and face to face with _The Kiss._

A couple, ensconced in each other’s arms in a grassy patch of wildflowers with layers upon layers of shimmering gold leaf - forever caught up in their romantic embrace. 

The man cradled his lover’s face as he leaned in to kiss her...with her arms wrapped around his neck. Her eyes were closed peacefully, and Rey was caught up along with her in the tranquility and intimacy of the private moment she was a witness to. 

Rey lost herself in counting every flower on the woman’s gown, and every single fleck of gold as she reached up and absentmindedly ran a finger over her bottom lip. She was so lost inside the painting she didn’t hear the footsteps and the softly amused chuckle from behind her.

“If it isn’t my favorite Sassenach.”

A soft gasp tumbled past her lips as she lifted her startled gaze to meet the glittering blue that smiled down at her from behind pale eyelashes. A faint smile spread across her freckled face when she saw how his own crinkled the skin at the corners of his eyes, and the warm glow of his genuine happiness to see her washed over her. 

“Armitage, was it?”

“Ah, you remember.”

“I remember all sorts of things,” Rey grinned with a shake of her head as she turned her attention back to the painting, trying as hard as she could to focus on the delicate floral pattern on the woman’s dress, rather than the electrifying kiss that had happened only steps away the last time she had met this man. 

She kept her eyes glued to the canvas, capturing her bottom lip between her teeth when she saw him step closer out of the corner of her eye and just barely let the sleeve of his navy suit brush up against her arm.

“Beautiful.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Rey breathed as she mentally cataloged every minute detail of the precious work of art.

“I wasn’t talking about the painting, darling.”

Rey’s eyes darted up to meet his gaze for a moment, letting herself be captured in the dazzling haze about him, “Oh…”

“How’s Kylo?”

Rey pulled her attention back to _The Kiss_ with a tilt of her head and a sigh, “He’s...uh, he’s someone else’s muse, now.”

“Oh,” Armitage sounded briefly deflated, “I am sorry to hear that. Truly, I am.”

“Don’t be. It was for the best.”

The pair of them stood silently regarding the painting for a few more beats before Rey stepped away to move on to the next work of art on the wall. Armitage cleared his throat and motioned towards her with his long fingers, “May I?”

“Please.”

They walked from piece to piece together, staying in a comfortable silence that they broke from time to time to discuss the art in front of them. Rey found herself getting caught up in his wandering gaze over and over, more than happy to absorb the warmth of his presence and the wondrous enchantment in his subtle smile.

The afternoon light began to seep through the windows, bending and shifting around priceless marble statues as Rey pulled her jacket from the crook of her elbow to slide her arms into the sleeves. 

Without a second thought, Armitage stepped forward and helped pull the crisp, ivory fabric over her shoulders, letting his fingers linger along the curve of her shoulders for a moment. Rey turned on her heel to meet his eyes, pulling her chestnut hair from beneath the collar of her jacket. The charming redhead anxiously pulled at the cufflinks at his wrists as he cleared his throat and toed the marble floor with his shiny, black shoe, “Would...would you mind terribly if I asked you for your number?” 

Rey tried to contain her eager smile by pressing her lips together with a small nod, “I’d like that.”

With a boyish grin, Armitage pulled his cellphone from inside his jacket and held it out to her, and Rey couldn’t help but return his smile with one of her own as she punched in her contact information. He let out a long, slow breath when she handed it back to him, marveling at her name on the screen with a swipe of his thumb, “You know, I thought that this phone was shit and now, suddenly, it is my most prized possession.”

He tucked the device back into his pocket and motioned to the front doors ahead of them in the bustling Great Hall. Rey stepped through the door he so gentlemanly held open for her, smiling softly as the warm breeze kissed her face as they walked out into the renewing warmth of the springtime sunshine.

As they reached the bottom of the mammoth staircase, Rey paused to reach out a hand, “It was...it was really nice running into you, Armitage. I hope I get to see you again soon.”

He caught her proffered hand up in his own, giving her hand a gentle squeeze before bending down to press the ghost of a kiss onto her knuckles, “You will.”

She couldn’t help it - a girlish laugh tumbled past her lips when the smile grew on her face as she turned to walk away. The thrill of this fresh start was the strangest thing, like everything that had happened before this day was merely a prologue to the story that came next. It felt like the old, worn-out copy of her life had closed and had been put away on the shelf, and a new volume had opened with word after word of fresh ink appearing with every step she took.

Rey lifted her face to the sky to let the sunshine upon her skin when the sound of an old fashioned phone rang out from her pocket. She reached inside and pulled out her cellphone, and with a swipe of her thumb and a smile, lifted it to her ear, “Hello?”

“Is right now too soon? There’s a shop around the corner with some new, confounded pastry that is just begging for us to try it.”

“Oh, is there now?” Rey hummed, glancing over her shoulder through the throng of people that swarmed the sidewalk. The crowd parted, and there he was, his auburn hair gleaming in the warm afternoon light as he grinned at her with a phone pressed to his ear. 

For a split second of giddy anticipation, she could picture it all...

***

“I knew Armitage would be back,” Hanna stated matter-of-factly with a sly smile.

“Did you?”

“Mmhmm. You know what? At first...I didn’t want him to be my dad, but now I am kinda liking him. Did he ask you out on a date?”

“He did…”

“And? Did you fall in love with him?”

“It was hard not to, my darling.”

***

Before Armitage, Rey had really only ever loved one man in her life, and the two were as different as could be. She was so happy to have met him again when she did...any sooner, and Rey wasn’t sure she would have been as ready as she was to openly dive in with both feet.

The night of their first, official date rolled around, and Rey quickly gave up trying to make the time go by faster by pacing a hole in the floor. She grabbed one of the many submissions to her imprint from the stack in her bag and curled herself into the wide armchair she had nestled in the corner of her tiny, Chinatown apartment.

No sooner had she cracked the cover to where her tiny, colorful tabs ended from the last time she had looked over the text, a shrill buzz rang out from the panel next to the door. 

Rey set the bound stack of paper down on the table beside her and strode to the buzzer and pressed the button, “Yes?”

“I have a delivery for a Ms. Niima from Armitage Hux.”

“Okay, come on up,” Rey released the grimy button with a confused crease in between her brows as she heard the heavy sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. 

She stepped to her door and began the process of undoing the stacks of locks, getting to the last one as a knock came thumping from the other side. Rey pulled the door open to reveal a slightly nervous-looking, mousy man with back-combed dark hair and dark eyes, holding out a large stack of white boxes.

“Ms. Niima?”

“That’s me,” Rey answered, holding onto the edge of the door expectantly.

“Fantastic. Here,” he pressed the stack towards her with a strained smile, “I’ve been told to tell you that the car will be here at six, sharp.”

Rey scrambled to take the boxes from him before he promptly turned away and ran back down the stairs. She backed into her apartment and pulled at the door with her toe to swing it shut with a loud slam. 

She carried the box to the narrow kitchen counter and lost her breath as she gingerly ran her fingers over the black lettering that was emblazoned over the top of the stark white box.

GEORGIO ARMANI

Christian Louboutin

Lagos

“Christ…this is more than my rent...” Rey breathed, her heart beginning to stutter in her chest as her mind began to mentally add up the value of what was inside the packages sprawled out on her kitchen counter. She reached out and curled her fingers beneath the cover of the first box, lifting it to reveal a luscious, deep purple fabric. 

Moments later, Rey pulled her cell phone from her pocket as her eyes raked over the items she’d pulled from where they had been lovingly nestled into tissue paper by an associate at Saks Fifth Avenue. A glittering pair of silver stilettos with the signature crimson sole from Chrisitan Louboutin...a matching handbag from the same designer...a stunning eggplant dress that Rey was sure would fit her like a glove, and a glittering bangle accented with amethysts that matched the Armani gown. As soon she swiped open the screen, it lit up with an incoming phone call, and her stomach did a backflip when Armitage’s name popped up. Rey pressed the green answer button and lifted it to her ear, “H-hello?”

“Hello my darling, alright?” His smooth tenor came through the line and made her stomach do another somersault, “I’ve heard from Mitaka that you’ve received your gifts…”

“Yes, about that…this is...very generous...too generous.”

“I know I got a little...carried away...but you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen in my life, and you deserve to be wrapped up in exquisite things.”

Her breath hitched in her throat, and Rey’s resolve nearly melted away at his beautiful words. She could practically hear his smile on the other line as she chewed on her lip and ran her fingers over the stunning, plum fabric.

“I tell you what, Pet, if you don’t like it...wear something of your own, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to seeing you in it...even if it’s only for tonight. If it makes you feel better, I’ll have someone take care of it all tomorrow morning after our night out on the town.”

“What, just like that? Even if I wear it all?”

“Just like that.”

Rey breathed out a sigh and carded her fingers through her hair as the seconds on her alarm clock ticked by, “Okay...I’ll see you at six.”

“I’ll be here waiting, my darling.”

The next couple of hours went by in a flash as Rey showered and dressed, letting out a quiet gasp of surprise when, just as she predicted, the purple dress fit her like a glove. The hem floated just above her knees with a modest slit up a single thigh. It hugged her lithe curves just right, nipping in at the waist to the ultra-feminine sweetheart neckline with unique detailing on her shoulders - a single strap hugging the outside line of her shoulder while the other draped elegantly above her elbow.

First, there was the dress...and then there were the shoes. Never before had Rey worn something so heavenly on her feet, and like Cinderella, it was like she had a fairy godmother whip everything from thin air just to fit her.

***

“Mum…” Hanna’s hazel eyes were wide as she curled a ribbon of her dark hair around her little fingers, “You’re like Cinderella again…with glass slippers too!”

“They really are magical shoes…” Rey breathed out, with a fond smile hovering on her mouth.

“Wait...are they the really, really sparkly ones in your closet that you wear for really special occasions?”

“The very same ones, Sweetheart.”

Hanna’s mouth hung open before she quickly clamped it shut and busied herself with writing notes with her crayons on her checklist, “That’s very interesting…a little obvious, but I’ll take it...what happened next?”

“I left in my pumpkin carriage to go to the ball, of course!”

***

Rey put the finishing touches on her grey, smokey eye makeup, and smoothed on a light pink gloss just in time for the buzzer to ring again. She dashed over to the panel on the wall and with a push of the button excitedly stammered a, “I’ll be right down!”

With one last glance in the mirror to make sure the chignon at the base of her neck was secure, Rey stepped out into the hallway and pulled the door shut behind her, tossing her keys into the glittering clutch before striding down the hall and stairs.

The black town car waiting for her on the curb looked positively out of place amongst the dirty sidewalks and bright colors of the Cantonese signage of Chinatown, but the smiling face standing in front of it was more than welcome to her eyes.

“Hello, darling,” Armitage mused with a broad smile, tugging at the cuff links of his expertly tailored suit before reaching out to brush his long fingers across her waist, before pressing a slow kiss to her cheek, “You look positively radiant.”

Rey ducked her head towards her feet as the blush crept up her cheeks with a smile, “Thank you so much...I...I feel radiant.”

Armitage’s eyes darkened as he stood a little straighter, “Good. That’s exactly how I want you to feel. Just wait until you see what else I have in store for us...are you hungry?”

“Famished.”

He held out a slender hand for hers, which she happily accepted, and guided her into the luxurious, leather backseat of the car. Rey watched him through the window as he walked around the back of the vehicle. With a swift unbuttoning of his suit jacket and a friendly nod at the driver, he ducked down and slid in beside her. 

Armitage hung on her every word as they traveled the short distance uptown to dinner. Rey really couldn’t be sure of what sort of nonsense she was talking about because, by the time they had reached their destination, the only memory she had of the ride was the romantic sound of Crimson and Clover playing on the radio, the soft smile playing on his sculpted mouth beneath the soft russet hair of his beard, the glint in his blue eyes, and the feeling of his pinky finger brushing ever so softly against hers on the seat between them.

***

“Oh, I know that one!” Hanna exclaimed, clutching her small hands in front of her heart, “How _romantic_...Ohhhh, no I don’t hardly knooow her, but I think I could looooove heeeer. Crimson and cloooover!!”

Rey let out a loud laugh, reaching out to tickle peals of giggles from the precious girl, “Hush, you! I’m telling a story here!”

***

When the driver pulled up to the restaurant, Armitage quickly stepped out into the cool, night air, pausing for a moment in the trunk before coming around to her door.

He pulled it open with a smile, his copper hair lit like a halo by the bright city lights that shone down upon them as the sunlight left the sky, “I have something for you, darling,” he crooned as he held out his hand and pulled her to stand. 

Rey’s breath caught in her throat when a sudden gust of wind whistled between them, sending a sheet of goosebumps shooting down her arms. Armitage laughed as the breeze ruffled his hair and reached to pull a bundle of satiny black fabric from his arm, “Turn around.”

Rey chewed on her lip with anxious anticipation of what else there could possibly be when their night had barely just begun, turning around as he had instructed. A soft gasp rushed past her lips when a delectably soft - _and warm_ \- fabric slid up her arms and over her exposed shoulders. She let out a sigh and leaned into his touch while his fingers lingered on her shoulders, “There. That should help. Come, they’re expecting us,” Armitage reached around her and tangled his fingers between hers with a smile, giving her hand a subtle, reassuring squeeze as they stepped up the curb and into the warm glow of the restaurant. 

Rey stayed in a state of pure awe and astonishment the entire time they were inside the sleek establishment. Jazz played softly overhead as Armitage gently pulled the coat from her shoulders and leaned down to press a featherlight kiss upon her bare, freckled flesh before handing the sumptuous cashmere to the coat check attendant. He held out his arm with a smile and guided her through flickering candlelight and delectable smells to the back of the restaurant.

He let go of her for a moment to reach out a hand towards a blonde man in a crisp, white chef’s coat, brusquely shaking his hand as they exchanged pleasantries. Rey was wide-eyed and managed a quiet, “Pleasure,” as Armitage introduced her as his girlfriend, and her stomach did another delightful somersault. 

Their eyes met, and her heart leaped all over again when his smiled crinkled around the edges of his eyes as he pulled her chair out for her and caught her hand up to press a molten kiss on her knuckles. 

Rey leaned over and whispered in his ear as he settled himself in the seat beside her, looking out over the gleaming, busy kitchen sprawled out before them, “You know Gordon Ramsay?” 

“We go back a bit. He’s old friends with my father.”

Rey’s eyes grew wider and stayed that way as the parade of exquisite foods began to show up in front of them - that were all nearly too beautiful to eat. 

Eight courses later, with a full stomach and a fuzzy head from each accompanying wine, Armitage stood from his seat and stepped behind her chair. A frisson of goosebumps went tumbling down to her toes as he let his long fingers drift down her bare arms and leaned down to let his lips brush the curve of her ear, “Are you ready for the next part of our adventure, darling?”

Together, with her hand tucked in the warm crook of his elbow, they strode to the door, pausing for a moment to retrieve her coat before stepping back out into the brisk evening air. When Rey looked around for the car, Armitage pulled her closer and murmured, “It’s a lovely evening for a walk, don’t you think?”

“With you, I’m sure it will be…” Rey smiled as she curled her free hand around his arm and leaned her head against his shoulder as they made their way down the sidewalk. 

They walked happily arm in arm down the sidewalk, talking candidly, and the blocks fell away as they made their way Uptown. 

Rey lost herself to the rhythm of their synchronized footsteps and how they lined up seamlessly with the symphony of sound that the city so generously weaved around them. He was so easy to talk to, moving seamlessly from subject to subject as they shared stories of their lives. 

Somehow, they grew up on opposite sides of London, living similar, still different lives. 

Armitage grew up without a mother, where Rey grew up with no family at all, and both of them were desperate for something more...a need to build a new sort of life for themselves.

They talked about their love of art and literature, making plans for their next visit to The Met...and this time they would show up _together_ instead of leaving it up to chance like it had been before.

“It worked out quite nicely, though, didn’t it?” Rey mused as they crossed through a busy intersection.

“Quite. I’m grateful that our mistress Fate pulled us together, darling. I am having the most wonderful time, truly.”

“I am too,” Rey breathed, stopping in her tracks as they passed a brightly lit, glittering display in a shop window. She pulled away from Armitage and strode over to the window like a moth to a flame, reaching out to gingerly set her fingertips on the glass, “Stars, that is beautiful.”

Her breath hitched when she felt the heat from his body pressed up beside her as he leaned his head down to hover over her shoulder to look at the sparkling diamond necklace on display, “It certainly is that, my darling girl,” he mused, reaching up to trail his fingers across the column of her throat, “It would need an equally beautiful neck to grace...I would bet it would be all the more dazzling on you…”

“Oh, I wouldn’t even begin to dream of being able to wear something like that...I could pay my rent for years with the money that costs, surely,” Rey laughed as she stepped back from the spectacular display and hooked her arm back through his arm, “So...where are you taking me now, my prince?”

A chuckle erupted from the elegant man beside her, and a bright grin spread across his face, “Patience, pet. We’re almost there.”

Rey kept herself tucked snugly against his side as they stepped down the sidewalk until, not much later, they came to a stop in the shadow of a massive, dilapidated-looking warehouse.

“This is it?” she balked, her eyebrows raised high into her hair, full to the brim with skepticism. 

“This is it,” Armitage smiled down at her.

“I...uh...are you sure? It feels like we are in the right part of Chelsea to get mugged…”

“This way, darling,” he caught her hand and pulled her into an impossibly small lobby, where a stern-faced man dressed all in black stood with a clipboard, “Reservation under Hux.”

Rey looked from Armitage to the man and back while he looked over the list, feeling her stomach flutter when her companion slowly winked down at her.

“Right, here you are, sir. This way, please…” 

The man reached out and pulled open a deep crimson curtain and motioned for them to go inside. It was darker and louder, with a small crowd of people milling about, excitedly murmuring to each other as early jazz played softly over their heads. 

They stopped by a coat check to drop off their things and then wound their way, hand-in-hand, through the crowd. Armitage snagged a pair of glasses, full to the brim with a bright green liquid and handed one to Rey with a smile, “When in Rome, darling.”

Rey leaned down and sniffed at the drink in question, recoiling as the smell of it singed the inside of her nose, “What on earth?”

“Absinthe. We aren’t in the modern-day anymore, my love...welcome to 1922…”

“Oh, really?” Rey laughed nervously, “What have you got me into, Mister Hux?”

“Something wonderful, I’m certain…” he purred, his blue eyes darkening as he gazed down at her with a sly smile and a lift of his glass, “Cheers to fresh starts and thrilling adventures.”

Rey sucked in a deep breath and let it fall past her lips, taking every ounce of anxiety and apprehension away. It was time to let the past die and be here...now...with him.


	7. Fortune Favors the Bold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the elevator finally came to a halt, the bellhop in the corner looked over their masked faces with a dark look, briefly locking his eyes on Rey’s, like he was about to speak directly to her soul.
> 
> “As you venture into our world, remember this...Fortune favors the bold.”
> 
> The lights went out, instantly bathing them in complete darkness, and a charged silence as a single lamp flickered on from a table in the darkened corridor just outside the elevator doors. A thick fog rushed in at their feet, a soft blanket of grey in the obscured yellow light.
> 
> Rey held onto Armitage as they slowly stepped out of the safe coziness of the lift and into the unknown, letting the darkness kiss upon her skin and whisper thrilling promises in her ear. Distant music pulled on her senses, and she was helpless to do anything else but follow her feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My amazingly astonishing, fabulously fantastic, and terrifically tremendous beta, MyJediLife. I admire you so greatly for your outstanding work ethic and all that you do to make the wonderful works of this Reylo fanfic corner of the fandom shine with your gift for the Oxford comma.
> 
> My TWD fam, especially TTO, I love you all to pieces. Thank you for pushing me to be a better writer, and a better person to boot.
> 
> And Becca. I still stand by the fact that this is all your fault, in the best way. I love this little brainchild of yours more than I can properly put into word and will be sad when it is all over. 
> 
> [Come say hi on Twitter!](https://twitter.com/kaybohls) I would love to hear all your wild theories on who Hanna's daddy is!
> 
>  
> 
> [Take a listen to the playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/77iLgXIZ9BnhP3WAhqzf7r?si=weRqrY0cQAGzuIdu6ikI7g)

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48770505616/in/dateposted/)

 

Rey tipped the glass up and drank it down, letting the intense licorice flavor warm her from the inside out, and suddenly, it was like the volume was turned up on every inch of her body...the music was louder, the room was warmer...and Armitage was closer...so much closer, but not close enough.

Their gaze met for a moment after he tipped back his own drink with a gleam in his eye and a smile on his lips, as the lights above them suddenly dimmed and a thrilling hush fell across the entire room.

A man with an impeccable handlebar mustache stepped out from the red curtain they entered from, and began to spin a tale about Lord and Lady MacBeth and the world they were about to step in to.

As the maître d' told them about what they would discover, Rey felt Armitage’s arm coil around her waist, casually lingering on the front of her hip like it belonged there. It stayed firmly planted there as they were called forward and handed a pair of stark-white masks that reminded Rey of a venitian plague mask, with wide eyes and a slight beak.

They were instructed to keep completely silent once their masks were on, until after the experience was over and they emerged back onto the modern day streets.

Rey turned her eyes to Armitage with a breathless sense of wonder and excitement.

“What is happening?”

“Time will tell, my darling,” he gave her a sly grin and caught her hand with his own, bowing over the top of it to place a kiss on her palm. The feeling of his molten kiss, combined with the softness of his beard, sent a shiver down her body that was already buzzing from the sheer fever that the environment of the fictitious hotel had filled her with, along with the absinthe. He stepped back and lifted his mask over his head and secured it at the back of his head...and suddenly the only part left of her companion was the glittering mirth she found in his blue eyes 

Now masked - and subsequently silent - Armitage pulled her mask from her hands and motioned to her with a single finger for her to turn around. Rey was practically thrumming when he stepped up behind her and leisurely reached over her shoulders, and with a serene gentleness, placed her mask upon her face and slowly tied it at the back of her head. 

In small groups of ten, they were ushered back into the tiny foyer and then into the even smaller elevator. Inside, it was nearly dark, with only a line of dimly lit lights lining the ceiling to wash over them while they were stacked on top of each other as the quiet jazz continued to play. The elevator weebled and wobbled as it carried them upwards into the belly of the fictitious world that had been woven around them. Rey felt Armitage’s fingers curled around her waist and pull her closer as the air inside the lift became charged with a restless curiosity of what was going to come next. 

When the elevator finally came to a halt, the bellhop in the corner looked over their masked faces with a dark look, briefly locking his eyes on Rey’s, like he was about to speak directly to her soul.

“As you venture into our world, remember this...Fortune favors the bold.”

The lights went out, instantly bathing them in complete darkness, and a charged silence as a single lamp flickered on from a table in the darkened corridor just outside the elevator doors. A thick fog rushed in at their feet, a soft blanket of grey in the obscured yellow light.

Rey held onto Armitage as they slowly stepped out of the safe coziness of the lift and into the unknown, letting the darkness kiss upon her skin and whisper thrilling promises in her ear. Distant music pulled on her senses, and she was helpless to do anything else but follow her feet.

Gone was the world she knew, and sprawled out before them in a random collection of rooms and meticulously created sets was a world unto itself, full immersive in the art that happened around them. 

Rey found it easy to keep herself speechless, like the performers, drawn to them as they silently acted out the story just a breath away from where she stood.

At some point after the experience had begun, Armitage had been pulled away. One moment he was there...another he was gone. Her mind wanted to go into full panic mode, blaring her emotional alarms that told her that he had wined and dined her all evening, making her heart flutter and come alive in a way it hadn’t done in an achingly long amount of time...all for him to up and leave right when things were becoming interesting ...but Rey knew better.

There was something...something special with him. Something unexpected, to be sure. Over the top and luxurious - most definitely. It had all been a little too much at the start, but as the evening wore on, Rey let herself forget the monetary value of what was happening and chose to be _with_ him in the moment instead. Armitage struck her as a person who wanted to take care of her and pamper her in every way that he could...was it so bad if she’d let him? 

The chemistry was certainly there. There was no shortage of electric moments that Rey was more than eager to explore...sooner rather than later. The memory of his kiss on that December evening had stuck with her ever since, and Rey was sure that there was far more where it came from.

The anxiety of the loss of his warmth from her side faded into mere disappointment that she wasn’t experiencing the magic with him, hand in hand like she’d hoped they’d remain for the rest of the night. 

Rey followed an intriguing character throughout her storyline, watching her as she silently interacted with other characters and by herself...

She made eye contact with the beautiful woman as she wandered into a smaller room, softly lit by a glass lamp in the corner with only a table and a chaise lounger tucked in the corner. 

Rey watched the woman as she turned on her heel and slowly turned the dial on a radio, summoning music from a phantom source around them. The woman lifted her eyes over Rey’s shoulder, turning away as a man strode in from behind the silent bystanders. 

Her heart started to quicken as she found herself as a viewer of a dance that was so erotic, it almost felt like something taboo...like something private between two people that Rey was sure she shouldn’t be watching. 

A fire that had been asleep for months curled deep in her belly as she watched the sensual push and pull between the two dancers, who toed the precarious line between choreographed routine and pure, explosive chemistry..intertwining their bodies in such a way that set Rey’s skin aflame. 

Rey felt her flush climb up her cheeks, and her hot breath circle up beneath her white mask as her gaze stayed glued on the dancers. They moved like ribbons in the wind...she was the daughter of passion, and he the son of agony as they floated through the air like bits of sensuous silk. The dance acted as a language that could be understood by all...it was the most honest form of communication - and what it was saying spoke volumes to Rey as their bodies twisted around each other’s.

With every graceful and carnal movement, Rey’s heart skipped another beat, adding fuel to the smoldering flame that curled at her center, filling her with an ache and a need to be touched...anywhere...

Like the answer to a prayer, Rey felt something...or someone... brush up against the side of her hand hanging at her side. Caught in the electrifying silence that the masks held them under, she barely had time to react before a hand curled around her waist and pulled her in. 

She let out a stuttering breath as she quickly lifted her gaze to meet another one of the stark-white masks...and a pair of glittering blue eyes that burned ferociously into hers. Rey hungrily chewed on her bottom lip from beneath her own mask as she turned her eyes back to the dancers in front of them as Armitage’s hands began to slowly wander. 

Like coloring in the lines in a coloring book, his fingers followed the seams on her dress...down the line of her zipper in the center of her back and down down down, trailing a featherlight touch down the curve of her hip and back up…over and over again until Rey practically felt weak at the knees from the growing heat between her thighs. 

She pressed them together with a soft gasp as his bare fingertips grazed the flesh of the top of her thigh, that peeked out from the daring slit in the deep purple fabric, wishing to herself that they’d wander just a little further…

With every rousing touch of his hand, all sense of holding on to the past evaporated, stirring something in her that took over her thinking and made the rest of the world fall away in a blur. 

The only thing that mattered to her now was more of his touch, the hunger she felt for his kiss on her lips...her stomach...her breasts...her entire body that was practically burning up from the sheer thrill of the idea. 

His hands never left her...even after the dance was over...and as they moved to another set...even after the crowd began to thin. 

Still wrapped up in the silent trance beneath their masks, Armitage tugged her arm as she stepped to follow the other patrons as they moved towards the lift. He pulled her to his chest and wrapped a hand around her waist and held the other in his hand...then he began to move...slowly swaying from side to side as ethereal jazz filtered through the darkness.

Rey practically melted into him, memorizing the feeling of his palm in the small of her back and the way their bodies melded together as they quietly spun in slow circles while the magical world around them went still.

She lifted her gaze to meet his, the air around them charged with the silence and their eyes as their only source of communication. There was so much there, tucked into the shades of blue with flecks of silver and green. He leaned forwards and hovered beside her ear to let out a throaty whisper that sent a delectable shiver down her spine.

“I want to take you home with me, darling.”

Armitage slowly lifted his hand to the back of her head, and in that split second of the anticipation of his touch, Rey’s entire body was electrified as their eyes and their bodies spoke in a wordless way that was so completely tangible.

Just as his fingers were about to tug on the ribbon that held her mask firmly against her face, a voice rang out into the dim light, yanking them immediately from their trance.

“This way please!”

Rey grinned to herself beneath her mask as they took a painstakingly slow elevator ride back down to the ground, but no matter how it would try - she was still floating on air.

He closed his fingers around hers as they stepped off on the ground floor and out into the cold night air, pulling her to a stop in the shadow of the massive warehouse to reach up and finish what he started. 

Rey blinked in the dim pool of yellow light the neighboring streetlight bathed them in as Armitage pulled the mask away from her face. She stepped forward and uncurled her fingers from her palms, reaching beneath the stiff plastic of his own, softly smiling at the velvety softness of his beard against her flesh. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the sight of his perfectly sculpted lips...perfectly proportioned and practically begging for her to touch them. 

His sapphire eyes burned down at her as she stepped closer and let his mask fall to the sidewalk at their feet, reaching up with the tips of her fingers to trace the line of his cupid’s bow. The feel of the tender flesh beneath hers sent her mind into a frenzy, a desperate need to feel them against her lips, and the urge to kiss him, took over completely. 

Armitage leaned into her touch and groaned softly as she raked her hands through his well-trimmed russet beard and wound them over his shoulders to pull them closer together. She looked up at him through her lashes as she chewed on her bottom lip.

“So...are you going to kiss me or not?”

The corners of his eyes crinkled around them as he smiled down at her, curling his hands around her waist to pull her flush against his body.

“I think...” he leaned down and pressed a kiss below the tender flesh of her ear, “...I could manage...” he moved slowly to do the same on the other side, softly grazing her cheek with his beard, “...a bit…” his mouth trailed upwards to map the freckles between her eyebrows, “...of kissing…”

Armitage caged her face tenderly in his hands and lifted her gaze to meet his, skirting the pad of his thumb over the seam of her lips, smiling to himself as her mouth parted with a soft sigh at his gentle touch, leaning down ever so slowly to prolong the moment before his mouth met hers.

 

“We did this a little too quickly last time, and it was over so fast...I plan on savoring…” Rey gasped as his lips just barely brushed against what Wendy Darling called a kiss in the corner of her mouth, letting her eyes flutter closed while he carried her along the breathless journey to what was sure to be a grand adventure, “...every…” he moved and kissed the other side of her mouth, “...moment.”

Like putty in his hands, Rey melted when Armitage finally closed the distance between them, pressing a searing kiss to her lips that was filled with every wordless sensation she beheld while watching the sensuous dance of the performers in the dark. Her hands worked their way around his body, reaching up beneath his designer lapels to feel the warmth of his flesh and the beating of his heart beneath her fingertips. He was slender, but strong, with cords of muscle bound together over his narrow chest. When they pulled apart with slow, shaky breaths, Armitage reached up and tucked a ribbon of her chestnut hair behind her ear before leaning down to kiss her once more.

“Come on, darling. Let me drive you home.”

He pulled away and held his designer suited arm out to her with a cool smile. Rey reached out and tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow and snuggled up beside him, leaning her head against against the curve of his arm while she looked up at him through her lashes.

“Like, _home_ , home?”

His smile only grew, and he curled his long fingers over hers.

“Decidedly, not, Pet.”

“Oh…” she mused as her freckled cheeks took on a rosy tone. Rey pressed her lips together and looked down at her glittering stilettos as they walked together towards the black town car as a chill ran up her legs, “I’d like that very much.”

Rey slid along the supple leather of the seat, hovering near the center as Armitage dexterously unbuttoned his suit jacket and climbed in beside her. 

They didn’t waste a moment...as soon as the door slammed closed behind him and the sleek, black car pulled away from the curb, their hands were all over each other. She sighed at his hot breath and the tingle of his beard against her skin as his lips feverishly made contact with her neck. His hand snaked around her waist as the other pulled her chignon free. Rey reached down and shimmied the form-fitting fabric of her skirt up her thighs and slid across the seat and into his lap.

He mapped the column of her throat with molten kisses, sending ricochets of pure pleasure through her entire body while the glittering lights of New York City flickering past the windows faded into a blur as they lost themselves to the moment. 

Rey couldn’t help herself as her fingers ran through his beard, pulling him to her lips for a fiery kiss as she rolled her hips against him, letting out a whimper when the heat between her thighs was met by his own generous arousal. 

Armitage groaned and Rey devoured the sound, keening softly when he wrapped his long fingers around her wrists and held her away from him. He swallowed thickly and let a deep breath rush past his pink, kiss-bruised lips.

“Patience,” he breathed as he set his forehead against hers, with his dishevelled copper hair hanging like a curtain between them. Rey pulled herself away, sliding into her own seat with a slight pout that instantly melted away when he leaned over and hooked her chin with his thumb and placed a swift kiss upon the bend of her cupid’s bow.

“That’s a good girl.”

With a smile, he curled his fingers around hers and gave her a reassuring squeeze as the city passed them by. The buildings became taller and sleeker, and the traffic became thicker as they made their way into the Business District. 

The car slowed to a stop in front of a black, carpet-lined sidewalk beneath a sleek awning with an impeccably dressed doorman waiting outside. Armitage pulled open the door and stepped out into the cool, springtime air and reached back inside for her. 

Without a second thought, Rey reached for his hand and let him pull her out into the night with him. He tucked her arm in his and with a smile and a nod at the doorman, led her into the glittering lobby.

It was a miracle that, once he pushed the silver _PH_ in the lift, they were able to keep their hands off each other at all. The doors slid shut and the motor engaged, sending them on a smooth, relaxed ride to the top of the building ...but the air was anything but. Rey could feel it, like a live wire thrumming between them, charged and ready to explode at the slightest touch. 

She avoided looking up into his clear-blue eyes, knowing that as soon as she did, her resistance would crumble completely, and the patience he instructed her to have would evaporate into nothing. They stood there in silence, with only the soft hum of the elevator and the tiniest whimper that escaped her lips when his fingers brushed against hers. 

The doors glided open to reveal a dark, marbled foyer with a sleek metal table in the center, and a breathtaking arrangement of crimson flowers in the center that filled the elongated space with the sweet smell of each bloom. 

Armitage silently met her gaze and motioned for her to follow him as her eyes shifted over every surface they walked by. 

Impossibly large and impeccably decorated, Armitage’s apartment was like stepping into a magazine - or a real estate ad. Every surface gleamed with shades of grey, silver and black, with bright pops of red - from throw pillows to the art on the walls...each striking splash of color brightening the exceedingly modern space. 

Rey would have loved to wander over every inch, but there was something...more...that held her attention, holding out his hand expectantly at the end of the wide-open living room. He led her towards a short hallway that opened up into a small sitting room with wide benches one would find in a luxurious fitting room. He reached for a brushed steel door handle and, with a twist of his wrist, swung the door open.

Like what she had seen of the rest of the apartment, his bedroom was equally as elegant. A wide bed sat against the far wall, covered in light grays and muted blues - a stark contrast to the crimson that painted the living room. 

Rey found herself instantly drawn in by the floor-to-ceiling windows, and the magnificent view of Manhattan that was sprawled out before her. As she stepped towards the glittering lights, she heard Armitage’s voice ring out into the charged silence.

“My darling…”

Rey spun on her shimmering stilettos to face him with an expectant smile, and instantly felt her heartbeat surge at the scorching look in his eyes.

“Y-yes?”

He slowly reached up to pull the Windsor knot from his neck, eyes never leaving hers for a second.

“Take off your dress.”

Rey swallowed the whimper that threatened to escape at the sound of his voice, and the way it sent a heady shiver down her legs. She reached behind her and grasped the metal pull tab of her deep purple dress and leisurely began to pull it down her back. She ran her tongue across her bottom lip as the zipper slowly came open, keeping her eyes glued to Armitage as he slowly slipped his suit jacket from his arms. 

Rey couldn’t be sure what game they were playing...all she knew was that she wanted in. 

“Now what?” Rey hummed as she shrugged the sensuous fabric over her shoulders, letting it slip past her hips to land on the floor in a puddle.

Armitage slowly folded his Armani jacket and gingerly set it along the back of an armchair, reaching down to leisurely roll the cuffs of his crisp, white shirt up to his elbows.

“Patience, darling.”

She held her breath as he strode to her side, lifting his hand out to her to guide her as she stepped out of the heap of fabric on the floor, thanking the Gods she decided to wear her fancy knickers tonight, of all nights, as his blue eyes raked over her entire body. 

He slowly circled her, combing his fingers through his beard with a lick of his lips.

“Beautiful,” Armitage mused as he slowly circled her while he combed his fingers through his russet beard, “Positively stunning,” he paused for a moment and tilted her chin upwards with the tip of his finger. She held her breath as he leaned down and uttered softly in her ear, “I’m going to kiss you all over.”

Rey wordlessly nodded as he stepped around her, leisurely brushing his fingers over her collar bone before bending down to brush his soft lips against the column of her throat. The touch of his mouth against her skin was so light, yet so exhilarating in a way that she found impossible to describe. It was like every inch of her body was alight, electrified by an invisible current that Armitage turned up higher with every brush of his lips. 

Down he went, across the curve of her shoulders, down her arms to her fingertips, and up the curve of her spine. Each kiss elicited a soft gasp from her mouth, leaving her breathless with a racing heart. 

Positively thrumming from the intoxicating sensations, Rey wasn’t prepared for how it would feel once Armitage’s hands joined his mouth on the extensive study of her body. With a delicate touch, his hands skimmed the golden, freckled flesh across her shoulders, pushing the silken straps of her lingerie over the curve. 

His fingers drifted around to her back, never releasing her from the heady spell that he weaved over her as he followed the line of lace to the dainty clasp over her spine. Armitage let his mouth linger at the base of her neck, letting out a slow breath as he opened it with a flip of his thumb and watched it slip down her arms to the floor. 

Rey couldn’t help the quiet whimper when his hands eased around her shoulders to skim his palms over the swell of her breasts. She could feel the heat building - between their bodies and between her thighs. With a quiet groan and a firm bite of her lip, Rey shivered as Armitage explored the silky, supple flesh, teasing the tip of her budding nipples in a way that nearly made her go weak at the knees. 

Armitage swept the tip of his tongue along the column of her throat with a hum, the touch of his mouth and his hands becoming firmer with each passing second. Rey lifted her hands from where they’d managed to stay at her sides to reach for him...wanting to touch him...to feel him...and show him just how badly he was making her want him.

A frustrated sigh breezed past her lips when the molten kisses at her throat ceased and Armitage’s long fingers clasped around her wrists, stopping her in her tracks just as her hands were about to card through his copper hair. 

“Not yet, Pet. I need to get you good and ready first. Do you want more?”

“Mmm, Armitage...please…” Rey pleaded, closing her eyes with a sigh as he firmly brought her hands back down to her sides.

“Keep these here. No more touching until I say...do you understand?” When she didn’t answer, Armitage stepped away, making Rey cry out from the sudden loss of his touch. “Answer me, darling. Do you understand?”

“Y...yes…”

“Good girl.”

Her obedience was instantly rewarded when Armitage pressed his body against hers once more and his hand slowly sank down to her sex. A breathless sob broke free from her throat when he simultaneously curled his long, dexterous fingers over the silken fabric of her thong, and brushed the softness of his beard across her shoulder, making firm circles around her center as he nipped at the flesh at her throat.

With the crisp fabric of his white shirt pressed against the bare flesh of her back, Armitage wrapped his arms around her, pulling her more snugly against him. Rey wasn’t sure how much longer she’d be able to hang on while he leisurely coaxed her body to come alive in ways she never knew that it could. His hands worked in tandem, tucking his fingers beneath the hem of her silk panties as the other rose up and hugged the curve of her jaw. 

Edging lower and lower, his fingers dipped between her soaked folds with a groan, slowly circling the sensitive bundle of nerves as he tugged her jaw around to bring her mouth to meet his for a furious kiss. Rey lived for every single sensation, from the way his russet beard tickled her lips while he kissed her soundly, pulling the most delicious sounds from her while his fingers glided over her clit again and again. 

Rey cried out when he abruptly took his kiss away, focusing his attention on her body instead. She felt herself teetering on the edge of her orgasm while his fingers swept over her weeping cunt, eliciting electrifying jolts of pleasure with each passing second. With each sound she made, Armitage slowed his calculating pace for a moment, pulling her away from the precipice before surging forward all over again. 

His mouth wandered over her flesh, holding her jaw firmly to bend and move her as he mapped every inch of her. Rey could feel it building higher and impossibly higher every time, like Armitage was simultaneously making her impending orgasm further away, while building the pressure and heat that curled in her belly to a scorching blaze that threatened to erupt in a wild fury...if only he would lead her there.

“Armitage…” Rey keened loudly as the tips of his fingers darted expert circles around her clit...fast, then slow, then fast again before pausing altogether.

“Yes?”

“Mmmm...please...I...I want to...want to touch...want...fuck...please…”

“What a dirty mouth, darling,” he crooned against where he held her steadfastly on her jaw, pressing a molten kiss beneath her ear before continuing on with his ministration, “Would you like to come, Pet?”

“MMmmplease,” she whimpered as his fingers slowed to a near stop. Her knees trembled while he held her captive with his touch, needing more of his touch, more of his kiss, more of whatever exhilarating game they were playing.

“Say it...I can’t give you anything unless you ask for it, Darling. _Say it._ ”

“Armitage, I want you to make me come…” she cried out in a whisper that turned into a scream as his fingers surged inside her in a single, fluid motion. The heel of his hand worked against her clit as his rocked his fingers into her cunt over and over until, with a sharp cry and shuddering tremble, Rey tumbled over the towering precipice. 

Rey’s knees quaked as Armitage’s touch began to slow while he towed her along the line of her orgasm, elongating it, and the jolts of pure pleasure, with each pass of his fingers over her sex. He peppered her throat with kisses, trailing his hands and the remnants of her arousal up the long line of her torso with a silken murmur.

“That’s my good girl. Wasn’t it worth the wait?”

“Y...yes…”

“Excellent. Now, let’s see what other fun we can get up to, shall we?”

Rey wasn’t sure if she could take another orgasm as intense as the one that Armitage had provided her with. She captured the tender flesh of her bottom lip and whispered into the dim light of his luxurious bedroom, “Can I touch you now?”

Armitage let out a soft chuckle, curling his fingers around her waist to slowly turn her around to face him, meeting her wide-eyed gaze with a smile, “First thing’s first, Pet. Be patient.”

He slowly stepped away, keeping his hand in contact with her bare flesh as his fingers ran down the length of her arm. Grasping her hand in his, he gave her a reassuring smile as he led her towards the sprawling, king-sized bed. 

Wrapping his arms around her waist, Armitage hugged the curve of her waist with his palm and Rey held onto his shoulder for dear life as he brought his face down to hers. With a soft kiss, he began to gently lower her down onto the crip bedspread. Rey looked up at him through her lashes, her eyes heavy-lidded and dark as he leisurely pulled away and stood at the foot of the bed. 

Rey reached her hands over her head and lazily stretched with a purr, like a facetious cat on a Sunday afternoon. She couldn’t help the coquettish smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth as they regarded each other. Armitage’s glittering blue eyes roamed over her laid out and bare before him.

With the tips of her toes, Rey stretched out her leg and hooked it behind his knees and gave him a tug with a flirtatious grin.

“Are you really just going to stand there and watch me unravel over and over...or are you going to come and play?”

A slow smile curled up at the corners of Armitage’s mouth as he thoughtfully ran his fingers over his well-trimmed beard before lowering his hands to leisurely and deliberately unbutton his shirt. Rey’s eyes darkened as she watched him work...his burning gaze never leaving her for a split second as he shrugged the crisp fabric from his narrow shoulders.

“Look at you,” he hummed as he fiddled with the silver buckle of his black belt, “You look so thoroughly well-fucked, and we’ve barely just begun, Pet.” 

“I am looking forward to more...but you’ve got to come down here and finish what you started...”

“So cheeky, my darling. I love that...and trust me...there’s so much that I want to do to you… _with you_...we won’t be able to do it all in one night.”

“If it pleases you...I would like to try…” Rey grinned, enjoying every second of their sexy banter. Feeling brazen and bold, she tucked her fingers into her mouth and slowly sucked on the tips. Her inner goddess cheered when Armitage’s gaze flickered with arousal as she slowly pulled them from her lips with a _pop_ and, with a suggestive bite of her lip, reached down to pick up where he had left off only moments before. 

“My oh my, you’re going to be a handful, aren’t you?” Armitage uttered, letting his trousers and undergarments fall to the floor before lowering himself over her on the bed. Without any hesitation, he leaned down and devoured the soft skin of her throat, alternating delicate nips and sucks between tantalizing kisses across her supple skin.

“I should...ah...I should hate to be predictable,” Rey moaned as a lance of thrilling pleasure ricocheted down to the tips of her toes. Her hands began to helplessly wander, filled with the need to feel his creamy skin beneath her fingertips. She reached between them with a quiet sigh as she palmed the length of his erection. Giving it a couple tentative pumps, Rey tilted her head back to run her nose along the curve of his ear, “I’m on the pill…” 

With a deep groan as she ran her thumb over the tip of his cock, spreading out the bead of precum she found there, Armitage curled his fingers around her wrists and promptly planted her hands high above her head.

His blue eyes bored into hers with a look that, even by itself, would have sent a sheet of tingles down her arms.

“If we are going to do this, darling...there is something you need to realize. I _give_. I would give you the world if you asked me. Whatever you want. _It is yours._ You just need to learn how to accept it. Do you understand?”

Rey’s heart fluttered as she captured her bottom lip between her teeth. Being taken care of, in any shape or form, wasn’t something that she was used to. She grew up with with no family to speak of, and made her way in the world largely on her own. If she thought about it...Armitage had been so incredibly giving...he had done so much for her, even before they met. He was generous, to be sure...as a man...as a lover...and she had a feeling that they had barely scratched the surface of what he was willing to do.

Swallowing her heart - that had crept up to make a home in her throat, Rey gave him a small nod and was instantly rewarded with a bruising kiss. Even though she longed to reach out and tangle her fingers in his copper hair, the way he held her still as his tongue delved into her mouth and danced with hers filled her with a wild sense of wonder for the world she knew she didn’t quite understand, but longed to explore. Rey knew that she was standing in the doorway...and Armitage was the key to get in. 

Armitage deepened the kiss, holding her firmly as she helplessly rolled her hips against him, silently begging for him to do it...to cross that line and bring them together to communicate in a way where words failed. 

He reached down with his free hand that had been grazing purposefully across her gleaming flesh and lined the tip of his weeping cock up at her entrance, pulling away from their heated kiss to meet her gaze. Rey looked up at him through her lashes and bent her neck up to give him the seal of her approval. The ghost of a smile curved up across his perfect lips as, with a roll of his hips, he slowly eased into her.

Holding her hands steady over her head, Armitage began to move, consuming the breathless keen that erupted from Rey while the heady sensations became almost too much for her to bear. For a such a gentleman, she noticed that Armitage colored outside the lines, letting his mouth rove over every inch of her...delivering on the promise that he wanted to kiss her all over while he mapped the freckles that sprinkled the peaks and valleys of her collarbones with his tongue. 

Their bodies moved seamlessly together, working as one as Rey met him thrust for leisurely thrust. It was somehow less, and so much more, than she had anticipated. After their night spent in the dark, immersed in the seductive world of MacBeth and his wife...Rey’s body was already awake, and thought that things between them would erupt into a blinding blaze of passion. It had done that...but in a way that was altogether unexpected. 

Armitage was calm and calculated with his every single movement...taking the time to truly make love to her with all the heat and fevor that a good fucking would have done. Every movement...every kiss...every frisson of electric pleasure that sent shivers across her entire body was filled with so much more...so much meaning...so much of what they could be together.

Rey leaned into his every kiss, moving with him, letting the intoxicating feeling consume her completely. With a shudder, she knew that she was getting close...the heady sensation of their bodies melded together began to overcome her, and Rey whimpered into his shoulder, “I’m...I want to...I’m going to…”

“Not yet, darling...almost…” Armitage grinned down at her, slowing his thrusts just enough that she drifted away from the peak just enough. Rey’s eyes fluttered closed as she arched her back away from the mattress. He released her wrists from his firm grip and curled his fingers around her jaw to pull her mouth down to meet his. His blue eyes burned into hers through a curtain of copper hair as he pulled away with a hungry murmur, “Look at me, Darling. I want to see your eyes when you come.”

In his eyes...Rey saw so much more than the man who had pampered her all evening. She saw beyond the designer suit that she was sure made him become the man that the world demanded that he be. She saw beyond the luxurious penthouse. 

It was only him. 

She saw the glitter of mirth and instantaneous connection when they first met...even if the timing was wrong. She saw him with his boyish smile in the sunshine after she’d done something as simple as giving him her phone number. And she saw something else...the potential for more...for something so far beyond what either of them had expected...something that could go on for eternity. 

***

“Uh...Mum?”

Rey blinked rapidly, pulling herself out of the odd sort of trance, and back to her perch on the end of Hanna’s bed.

“I...uh...sorry…” she carded her fingers through her chestnut hair with a sigh and a titter of nervous laughter, “Where was I?”

Hanna stared back at her mother with an unamused look on her delicate, freckled features.  
“You did it again.”

“What?”

“The thing. The spacey thing that you did before...your eyes went all funny and then you were quiet for like...I don’t know...five minutes or something. I got up and went to the bathroom and I am pretty sure you didn’t even blink.”

“Shit...sorry, Han. I didn’t mean to do it again.”

Hanna sat back against the mountain of stuffed animals, looking her mother over with a dramatic twitch of her eye before letting out a sigh and picking up her list and a crayon.

“So.”

“...yes?”

“ _Armitage_ …if that’s even his name…”

“It’s not,” Rey laughed.

“Right….” the little girl pursed her lips and thoughtfully tapped the end of her crayon against them, “I like him...but I haven’t gathered enough evidence about him to decide if he’s Daddy or not.”

“Excellent. Well, I am happy to provide more, if you need?”

“I would be very grateful if you did.”

“Okay...what do you want to know?”

“He took you on that magical night in the city...you listened to the greatest song ever… _he’s the one who gave you your pretty shoes_...what happened after that? Did it go on, or did you keep your glass slippers and go home to Chinatown?”

“It did go on,” Rey laughed with a smile, thinking back fondly to that spring in 2007 when New York was a magical playground meant just for them.

“Did you see each other a lot? Go on dates and stuff?”

“Lots of them.”

“So, you didn’t go back to Chinatown?”

“At first...but after a while, I didn’t live there anymore.”

“Exsqueeze me?” Hanna’s hazel eyes grew wide with surprise as she gave her bedroom an incredulous gaze, “If he is Daddy, and you lived in a penthouse...then you are definitely making a mistake, Rey.”

“Hanna,” Rey countered, “The brownstone in Brooklyn was _beautiful_ and you love it still when you see Daddy…”

“Yes...but…”

“You have your own floor, darling.”

“A floor is nice, sure...but what about an _elevator?_ Me and Daddy are going to have a chat about moving back to Manhattan...then we’ll all be closer and you two can go out on dates again…”

“Hanna…”

“I know, I know...it isn’t going to go back to how it was…” the little girl pouted, tucking her favorite bear to her chest with a disparate sigh.

“No matter how great it was before, Sweetheart.”

“So...you lived together?”

“We did. It went from his place to our place pretty quick. We had so much fun together.”

“Did you play games together? Daddy loves to play games…”

A blush crept up Rey’s cheeks as she thought about the types of games that she and Armitage would play together when they were alone in their bedroom...endless nights of furious passion where he would worship her properly in a way that all women wished their husbands would do. 

“We did...lots of games, all the time.”

“Interesting…” Hanna hummed as she scribbled something down on her notepad, “Keep going.”

***

Rey padded down the hallway of their lofty penthouse apartment as she slipped an oversized, black sweater over her head. A soft smile curved up across her face as she heard Armitage’s voice filter in from the sprawling kitchen around the corner. She pulled a camel-colored cashmere coat over her shoulders and slipped on a pair of towering, leopard Christian Louboutins. Dusting off a piece of lint away from her sleek, form fitting, black trousers, Rey ran her fingers quickly through her chestnut hair before following her lover’s voice into the other room.

“I thought there was more time...Hanady said what? Christ. Yeah...yeah, I’ll take care of it. Don’t let him get wind of it or we will all have to hear about it, clear?”

Rey trailed the tips of her fingers around the edge of the dark, granite island countertop, following it around to where Armitage was pacing in his sharp Armani suit. She ran her hands up the well-tailored back and instantly felt him relax beneath her touch as he hung up the phone and brought it down to the stone surface with a thunk. 

“Everything alright?”

“Everything is fine, Darling,” Armitage crooned, turning around to face her and press a lingering kiss upon her lips.

“Who was it?”

“No one important...just work.”

“It sounded sort of important, Tage. You know you can talk to me, right? I’m always here...and no one will love you and understand better than I can,” Rey pressed, leaning up against him with her fingers splayed against his chest. 

Armitage smiled down at her and reached up to tuck a ribbon of her chestnut hair behind her ear with another kiss.

“Where are you off to on this fine morning, Pet?”

“I see you changing the subject,” Rey challenged with a coquettish grin, “Off to work to get some edit approved...maybe stop for a coffee before and lunch with Rose later.”

“Sounds like a productive day.”

“I hope so…”

“Don’t be home too late, Darling. I have plans for us tonight,” he hummed, holding her chin firmly between his forefinger and thumb as he tugged her in for another, deeper kiss.

Rey tucked her bottom lip between her teeth with her tongue as she pulled away with a sigh, wishing that both of them could skip work for that day and spend all day in their bed. She reached up and fixed a stray strand of his copper hair with a smile before pulling away.  
“I won’t...see you in a few hours.”

“Have a marvelous day...I love you,” Armitage called after her as she strode down the hallway to the foyer.

Rey paused in the door frame to look back at him with a quickly blown kiss and a wave,  
“I love you, too, Tage.”

***

She emerged into the blustery November air a short while later on the Upper West Side, and Rey lifted her face to the sky to try and soak up the little bit of sunshine that the sky chose to bless them with that morning. 

Even after she had moved into Armitage’s Downtown penthouse, and he had insisted she take a town car to work...Rey had been happy to accept all the other luxuries that he showered her with, taking them in stride with the love of a man who was so dear to her heart, she had drawn the line at losing the Subway. It was a special thing that kept her grounded while she had her head in the clouds...a quintessential New York experience that was unlike any other. 

Plus, it was faster than taking a car. 

Dashing along the crosswalk to the other side of Broadway, Rey made her way down the block to her favorite quaint coffee shop. She pushed the door open with a ding, sending a swirl of brown leaves to cascade through the door with her. 

The barista smiled in recognition as Rey stepped through the door and quickly got to work on her usual flat white. 

After accepting the piping hot drink, Rey settled in at the bench that lined the window and took a tentative sip as she reached to pull a manuscript from her leather satchel, when the vibration of her cell phone buzzed loudly from the outside pocket. 

She pulled it out with a confused frown at the unknown number emblazoned across the screen. With a swipe of her thumb, Rey lifted the device to her ear and answered the call. 

“Hello?”

“Rey Niima?” a man’s voice murmured in a hushed tone from the other line.

“Speaking…”

“I’m watching you right now,” Rey’s stomach gave a great lurch and she swiveled around in her seat to look through the cafe and out the window to the street outside as the voice continued, “And I know all about you and your friend, Amilyn Holdo...in fact...I know so much that I could bring the both of you down for good…”

“Really?” Rey was skeptical, but anxiously intrigued what there could possibly be on her boss - who was practically the best person in all of Manhattan, “Who is this?”

“Why don’t we meet and you’ll find out?”

“Where are you?” Rey looked across the block for a sign of a clue, wondering if she should get the NYPD involved.

“Close.”

Rey slung her bag over her shoulder, took her coffee in hand, and stepped out into the chilly, Autumn air.  
“I...I don’t have a lot of experience with whatever the hell this is…” Rey grumbled as she started down the block.

“You’re getting warm. Hot. You’re hot. You are so hot. _So hot_ …gotcha!!!!’

Rey nearly spilled her drink all over her designer shoes with a shriek when Poe Dameron jumped out from around the corner. As soon as it registered that her potential stalker slash blackmailer was her best friend, Rey let out a squeal and threw her arms around his shoulders.

“I thought you were gone until Spring!” 

“I thought so too, Sunshine, but this crazy thing happened when I was in Rio…”

Rey casually slung her arm through his, falling into step easily...just like old times as they strode down the block to a small park on the corner.

“A crazy thing, eh?”

“I’m not kidding…”

Rey laughed and took a sip of her coffee, “Please, continue with your tale, I’m all ears….”

“So,” Poe started dramatically, reaching up to tangle his hand in his dark curls, “I was camping on this...just, incredible beach in Rio...you know, Rio de Janeiro...Brazil….”

“I’m vaguely aware, coffee guy, keep going.”

“Anyway, where was I?”

“Rio. Camping.”

“Right. So, I am camping on this beach in Rio with all these amazing people, and there was this girl I liked - Claudia.”

“Claudia?” Rey repeated the name, butchering the pronunciation completely.

“Clow-dee-yah. Jeez, I thought you were wordly...anyways...she was stacked, tan...black hair and an ass like…. _POW_...clueless - and totally my type.”

“Fascinating.”

“So, one night, Claudia and I are dancing, and she kisses me. It was incredible...deep...passionate..”

“Oh my god, spare me the gruesome details, please…” 

“She’s kissing me on this beautiful beach...and what do I do?” Poe exclaimed enthusiastically.

“I don’t know, Poe...what did you do?”

“ _I start crying_. And, I don’t mean just any kind of tears...I mean...big fat tears rolling down my face…”

Rey couldn’t help but laugh with a dazzling smile, caught up in every word...only because it was him, “Of course you started crying.”

“And, of course...Claudia doesn’t notice because her hands are, naturally, all over my body...it was nice, but really only upset me more. In an instant...I saw our entire relationship go from present tense to future tense in a second. There was a great, hot start...Claudia basking in my love and admiration for her, obviously, but eventually, I know she’d end up hurting me...I don’t know why it happens, it just does. I know, right that second, that she isn’t that girl I wasn’t looking for. So…” Poe paused to take a deep breath and slung his arm across the back of the park bench, “I unlock Claudia’s luscious lips from mine...removed her hand from my ass...and _I walked away._ ”

“Congratulations, it would appear that you made the right move.”

“You don’t understand, Rey...no one walks away from Claudia...but I did…”

“This is a great story…” she chuckled, enjoying every second of their friendship picking up right where it left off months prior.

“It was life changing...and I realized I had to tell someone,” Poe’s animated face grew serious and he took a great, deep breath, “When I realized who that someone was, it was really unexpected...like it had been staring me in the face, but I was too blind to see it, or too stubborn to accept it...to own it.”

Rey gave him a quizzical look and tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear with her hand, causing the stone on her third finger to brilliantly catch the rays of sunlight. Poe’s dark eyes shifted towards her hand, and he instantly caught it up in his. The man who was impossibly talkative only moments before was suddenly silent as he ran his thumb over her knuckles.

“What’s this?”

“Poe…turns out I have some life-changing news too,” Rey couldn’t help but notice the way her friend had instantly deflated, like all the wind had gone from his normally overconfident sails, “What is it? Why are you upset?”

He dropped her hand and scrubbed his tanned face with his fingers with a growl before turning his gaze back to her.

“Rey, don’t you think that it’s a little weird that we have been writing each other for however long, and _somehow_ you neglect to tell me that you have _fallen in love?_ ”

“I told you that I was dating someone,” Rey shrugged.

“Dating someone? Rey,” he reached for her hand and held it out for her to see, “This is an _engagement ring_.”

“I’m sorry…” she murmured, tracing a circle around the pear-shaped diamond with the tip of her finger, “I was nervous to tell you…”

“Why?”

“I don’t know...I just...I love this guy so much...I really just want you to be happy for me.”

Poe let out a heavy sigh, looking down at his shoes with a grimace before looking up with a distant smile.

“Fuck...I can be happy for you, Sunshine...of course I can be happy for you!” He reached out for her and wrapped her up in his arms with a breathtaking squeeze.

***

“Poor Poe,” Hanna murmured, reaching up to wipe a single tear from her black eyelashes, “He’s like the character in the story who has always been the best friend...and once he realized that he didn’t want to just be the friend anymore, he wanted to be the boyfriend...except it was too late.”

“What do you mean, darling?” Rey reached out and brushed her thumb against the curve of Hanna’s cheek.

“Weren’t you listening to me at all?” she cried out, throwing her small hands up into the air, “He came home...for you.”


	8. Never Worse, but Never Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's wedding to the charismatic and handsome Armitage arrives, but the mystery surrounding him thickens, leading her to question her decisions in the past...and other weddings she may have had.
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48944134566/in/dateposted/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI HI HI HI HI HI
> 
> DID YOU SEE THAT TRAILER FOR THE RISE OF SKYWALKER YESTERDAY?
> 
> I'm sure we all did...and I've been buzzing ever since...and by some miracle, extremely productive because of it!
> 
> Happy reading, my lovelies. Be sure to @ me on Twitter with your theories!! I love to chat about it, and may share a gif or two as a hint...
> 
> [All the Twitters, I know em](https://twitter.com/kaybohls)

“So… _ Mum _ ...” Hanna took a deep breath and sat forward with her little, freckled chin on her hands as the mattress bent beneath the little girl’s weight. 

 

“Yes, darling?” Rey answered with a smile at her daughter, reaching out to twine of her dark curls around her finger. 

 

“Since you’ve been kinda like a Cinderella with the shoes and the dress and stuff,” Hanna sat up and counted on her fingers, “Did you have a princess wedding too?”

 

“I did.”

 

“With the flowers and the great big dance floor and a cake that goes up to here??” Hanna reached up towards the star sticker-decorated ceiling as her voice grew louder and louder.

 

“With a princess dress, too.”

 

***

 

Rey chewed on the end of her pencil, tapping the toe of her black Christian Louboutin on the leg of her desk as she looked over her latest in a series of bike-messenger deliveries that featured detailed checklists and updated seating charts her eccentric wedding planner had sent over. 

 

The time had gone quickly since she and Armitage had made a whirlwind trip to England, where he had insisted they go and create new memories to replace the bad ones - together. She’d gone as one woman, and come home a little different - with a ring and a swell of joy in her heart that she prayed would never fade away. 

 

Months had gone by, and she was only a day away from the night that would change everything - at least, that’s what her wedding planner, J.J. told her every chance he could get. The flamboyant man never seemed to tire from his endless, silly chatter, flailing his hands about in the most dramatic fashion while he tried to convince her that she would most certainly would require white hydrangeas interwoven with the blush roses and anemones in the centerpieces, otherwise, “What is bein the point of havin’ a spring weddin’?”

 

The man, who was tall, thin, and fabulous enough to be referred to as nothing less than bodacious, had been a God-send. He’d shown up in her office not long after her fairytale proposal by her lover-turned-fiancé, to make sure she was without stress.

 

“I won’t have my bride undone by anything by me,” he murmured in her ear that night when she tried to insist that she could plan their nuptials on top of her already heavy workload. 

 

A shiver ran down her spine as she hungrily tucked her bottom and reached for her cup of Earl Grey. She slowly ran her finger along the edge, taking a long, slow sip as her mind flickered the night before when he has so dexterously mapped her body with the supple tip of a riding crop. 

 

Just as she imagined the delectable  _ smack  _ of leather against her ass, a sharp knock rang out from the door. 

 

Rey jumped in her sleek, white office chair, nearly sloshing her tea all over her pile of rainbow post-it covered manuscripts as she looked up to see her friend and colleague, Rose Tico, standing in the doorway. 

 

“You ready for tonight, soon-to-be Mrs. Hux?” Rose exclaimed from the doorway, grinning so widely that her dimples were on full display, “You’ve got t-minus three hours until the car is taking all of us to the Plaza.”

 

“I’ve got a few more pages to get through and then I should be ready to go, but I need to head home first,” Rey answered, absentmindedly reaching forward to shuffle the papers on her deck to try and hide the fluff in her cheeks from what she’d been thinking about only seconds before. 

 

“Home?” Rose looked at her incredulously, crossing her arms over her chest as she pushed off the edge of the doorframe.

 

“Yes, home. I wanted to see ‘Tage before tomorrow. Have one last…” her mind shifted back to the feeling of his silk tie wrapped lovingly around her wrists, “...kiss goodbye before the wedding.”

 

“You realize you can’t stay too late...it’s bad luck to see the groom the day before the wedding.”

 

“The day of, Rose,” Rey laughed, taking a drink of her tea.

 

“I meant what I said. Make it snappy, Mrs. Hux,” her maid of honor grinned at her and tossed her a quick wink with a giggle before turning away and calling out behind her, “If you’re not at the Plaza by seven o’clock, I’m sending a search party!”

 

Rey laughed and shocked her head and turned back to her tea, flipping through the edge of one of the manuscripts as she circled her finger around the rim and her thoughts went back to the handsome man who’d be meeting her at the alter the next day.

 

A couple hours later, confident that she’d finished enough and delegated the rest to account for the time they’d be gone on their honeymoon in Malta, Rey stepped out into the penthouse’s foyer, smiling softly to herself when she heard Armitage’s voice linger in the air with the sound of her designers shoes against the marble floors. 

 

She sucked in a quick breath of air when a white-faced Mitaka rushed past her in a panicked hurry, murmuring a mumbled, “pardon,” before shouldering past her as quickly as he could and into the elevator. 

 

After she slipped her black Christian Louboutins from her feet, Rey coiled a ribbon of her chestnut hair around her fingers and padded quietly down the hallway, swallowing the growing lump in her throat when her fiancé’s alarmingly agitated voice filtered from his office to the hall around her.

 

“Jesus. That soon? I thought...I thought we could hold off for a little while longer. You’re sure?” Rey knew right away from the sound of Armitage’s tense tone that there must have been something going on. Since she’d known him, there were moments that grew closer together in the last few weeks - when a phone call would interrupt whatever they were doing and pull the handsome ginger man away from her side. She’d watch him from a distance, fiddling with the hem of her blouse until he’d hang up the call, adjust his cufflinks and take a deep breath - shifting from the troubled businessman to her loving and attentive fiancé in a second. 

 

Rey tiptoed closer to the door that hung ajar, listening to any shred of...something...that would allow her to help ease the pressure he so obviously felt from his job. 

 

“I need to know if you’re absolutely sure about this, Canady. I can’t have any mistakes or he’ll have my head. No, I don’t mean that as a joke. He can’t hear any wind of this at all until it’s too late,” Rey held her breath as the phone conversation shifted and she was sure it was about her, “I...no...I can’t have her wrapped up in this. Fuck, I wish this would hold off just a little longer so I could…No, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I love her, mate...this is just...I can’t have this for her...yes, I’m sure it’s going to be all of us.”

 

Rey backed up down the wall when Armitage’s voice grew louder and she could tell he was approaching the door as he wrapped up the call.

 

“I’ll get it figured out ...yeah, see you then. Good luck.”

 

Rey watched him through a crack in the door as he carded his long fingers through his perfectly coiffed auburn hair and scrubbed them through his beard, taking a deep breath before striding through the door. 

 

She plastered on one of her signature, megawatts smiles met from down the hallway and felt her heart do the same little dance it always did when he smiled back at her.

 

“Hello, my darling,” Armitage beamed, seemingly himself once more as he pocketed his cellphone before reaching out towards her, “I’m surprised to see you, I thought for sure that Ms. Tico would have absconded with you by now.”

 

Rey let out a soft hum as he bent down and pressed a lingering kiss to her lips. The sound hung heavily between them, fading nearly as quickly as it had left her lips.

 

“She graciously allowed me some time before I am to be cloistered at the Plaza until tomorrow evening. I am on strict instructions to be in our suite by seven...you don’t have me for long, I’m afraid,” Rey reached out and snaked her hand through his proffered elbow, eager to keep her fidgety hands occupied, “...but maybe it’s just enough time for...some fun before I have to leave?”

 

Rey watched his face with a breathless sense of hope, praying that they’d have a moment for her to feel a little more at ease about the conversation she’d heard so wildly out of context...even just a second to remind her that it was the two of them, only them, that truly mattered in the grand scheme of things.

 

“My darling,” Armitage started, letting his pale blue eyes drift down to his feet before coming back to meet her gaze, “I wish that I could, but there are some things I need to take care of before Malta.”

 

Rey’s heart sank and a sigh slipped between her lips for a split second before he curled his fingers around her jaw and tilted her face to his. Her heart jumped as he stepped forward, blinking slowly with his pale eyelashes before slowing bending down to leave her with a long, leisurely kiss that left her like putty in his hands. When he pulled away, she blinked up at him with a far-off smile as he reached up and trailed his fingers across her cheek.

 

“I love you, darling.”

 

“I love you too, ‘Tage,” Rey sighed, leaning into his touch, wishing to herself that they could have just a little bit more time, “Is...is everything alright?”

 

“Never better, Pet,” Armitage answered, leaning forward to place a kiss on her forehead, “Don’t worry...everything will be fine. Just remember that I love you. Do you understand?”

 

“I do,” she hummed, curling her arms around his waist and putting her head on his chest. Armitage answered her silent request, circling his arms around her shoulders as he buried his nose in her hair, “I cannot wait to marry you, my love.”

 

“Me too, Rey. Me too.”

 

With one last kiss goodbye and a smile, Rey towed her suitcase behind her into the marble foyer and into the open doors of the lift. She reached out and pressed the button for the lobby, leaning with a sigh to keep her eyes on her lover as the doors slid closed. 

 

As the elevator traveled back down to Earth from their sky-high paradise, Rey’s heart sank with it as the conversations she’d overheard looped around in her head until there was no room for anything else. 

 

She closed her eyes with a shaky sigh, curling her hands anxiously around the handle of her luggage, willing the bad feeling to go away. That’s all it was. Out of context. Everything was fine, and they’d be married tomorrow with nothing but the rest of their lives ahead of them. An endless series of possibilities was sprawled out as far as her mind could reach. 

 

Home. Love. A family. 

 

Rey smiled to herself as the motors of the lift hummed quietly around her, thinking back to the moments where they’d laid together in their bed, happily wound up in the sheets and their afterglow. They’d talked about having a family more often than she ever thought they would. It was a dream that Rey kept on a shelf - there in the back of her mind, like a wish that she was sure would never come true. 

 

With Armitage, the far-off idea of it, and the hope that she so desperately held onto that she could be a mother to someone that she’d so wished for as a child seemed like something tangible and real. Something she could hold in her hands and put her faith in.

 

Her dread seemed to lift away when she closed her eyes and imagined a tiny little girl, freckled-faced, like her - with an infectious smile and a tenacious personality. 

 

She was something that dreams were made of, and Rey decided right then, that their dreams, and her lover, deserved for her to keep the faith.

 

Moments later, tucked into the plush leather backseat of an Escalade, Rey watched the Upper East Side fly past her windows. Skyrise buildings, stretching up towards the sky, reflected back the dimming light of the New York City sunshine as Rey fiddled with the diamond on her left hand. 

 

Her worries melted away as soon as she stepped foot inside the glimmering, gilded lobby of The Plaza, and made her way up to the penthouse suite where all her friends were waiting for her.

 

The time ticked by, happily holed up in their massive suite as they watched terrible romantic-comedies and drank an excessive amount of champagne.

 

Rey pulled herself from the ultra-chic sofa, wobbling on her feet when Rose reached up and gave her a tug.

 

“Where you goin’, missy? We haven’t played a game yet…”

 

“I...uh…” Rey looked around the suite with a champagne-fueled smile that she wore went up to her ears, “I’m gonna make a phone call real quick.”

 

Her friend pursed her lips and glared up at her from where she was slouched on the sofa, tucked comfortably in a luxurious bathrobe that all of them were dressed in.

 

“Fine. Don’t be gone long or no more bubbly for you! Tell Groomy to get some sleep, tomorrow is a biiiiig day!”

 

Rey lifted two fingers to her brow with a serious look, swaying slightly as she gave Rose her best salute.

 

“Aye-aye. ’swear, it won’t be long.”

 

She turned on her heel in her slippers, snagging the bottle of  Dom Pérignon from the ice bucket as she sashayed down the hall to the master bedroom. 

 

With a swig straight from the bottle, Rey centered herself in the delightfully fuzzy feeling the alcohol had painted around her and blindly fished around in her suitcase for her cellphone. The mattress bounced and bent beneath her weight as she clumsily flopped down, sloshing a little bit of the liquid down her chin as she lit up the screen with a press of her thumb.   

 

Rey let out a breathy sigh when the room was filled with the bright light from the happy picture of her and ‘Tage she had as her background. Their smiles were wide, and their joy was plain to see to anyone who met them...so why did she have this feeling in the pit of her stomach that she couldn’t quite shake?

 

With another drink of the bubbly liquid from the bottle, Rey swiped through her contacts, watching the names go by in a blur until she got to the one she was looking for. The ghost of a sad smile hovered over her lips as she brushed her fingers over his name that turned into an  _ oh  _ of surprise when the screen abruptly changed, and the dial tone blared out from the small speaker. 

 

Rey’s hands trembled as she lifted the phone to her ear, praying that it would just go unanswered.

 

“Seph?”

 

Her breath instantly hitched in her throat, and a sheet of goosebumps went running down her arms when the sound of his voice came through and sent her swimming in a sea of memories. His hands in her hair and his breath on her skin. The night they met and they strolled from one pool of light to the other, and Rey knew she was totally, royally screwed. The moment when she missed him so badly, she swore her heart would burst...and then, like a dream, he was there, and she was ensconced in his strong arms. How her heart felt like she could stay in love with him forever, and the way it broke when he betrayed her.   

“Hello?” his voice rumbled through the line again, and Rey swore she could hear him card his huge hands through his raven hair. She took a deep breath to summon the courage to ask the one thing she most wanted to know.

 

“Was it me?” 

 

Rey waited for a beat, listening intently when she heard Kylo’s long sigh in her ear, and she swore she could feel the phantom of his breath on her skin.

 

“No. It wasn’t.”

 

She let out a shaky sigh and her chin trembled as she looked up to the elegant, white gown that was waiting for her on a dress form in the corner, thinking back to the last time she was on the edge of getting everything she thought she wanted with a man she was utterly, completely in love with. 

 

“I...I’m getting married tomorrow...and...Kylo, I’m afraid,” Rey’s voice broke the moment she uttered his name, filled with regret for not hanging onto him with everything she had and fighting for what was hers - everything else be damned.

 

“Stop,” his voice was impossibly soft and gentle, tinged with sadness and what might have been a lingering ounce of love for her, “Don’t be afraid. You’re worth it, Rey. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to walk down that aisle and be with...and be with a man who deserves you. I’m just sorry that it isn’t me.”  

 

With a sniff, Rey reached up and wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back on her hand, closing her eyes against the vision of her wedding gown to center herself in the sound of his voice and the weight of his words before she interjected.

 

“Why? Why did...why did you do it? I don’t understand…”

 

There was a beat of charged silence before Kylo spoke again, his deep voice tinged with regret.

 

“There are a million things I could say, but none of them can take back what happened. I was lonely. I missed you. Nothing I can say will fix what I’ve done. All I know is the regret that I have felt  _ every second of every day  _ since that moment. I loved you more than I could love anything...Fuck, I still do. I wish I could do something to prove it to you...but it’s too late.”

 

She rolled his words over and over in her mind, letting out a quiet sob when her regret instantly overwhelmed her.

“...it isn’t too late,” Rey murmured softly.

 

“No,” he breathed, “Let the past die. It’s time for me to stop holding on and let go. Let you go. Be happy, Rey. Become who you were meant to be.”

 

“Okay,” she whispered, dashing away a fresh set of tears from her cheeks, “I will.”

 

“I love you, Seph.”

 

“I know.”

 

With trembling hands, she drew her phone away from her ear and pressed the red button with a heavy lurch of her heart. 

 

Rey felt lost, like a boat without a rudder, a sail without wind, and there was one person she knew who would be able to center her back right where she belonged. Drawing her eyes back to the screen of her phone, she flipped through the names and brought the device back up to her ear, knowing without a doubt that he would answer - and couldn’t keep the smile from her face when he did.

 

“Hey Sunshine, you getting up to all sorts of bachelorette shenanigans in that fancy-ass hotel suite?”

 

The sound of Poe’s voice instantly settled the beating of her heart, leaving her feeling a little lighter than she had only moments before. 

 

“Something like that,” Rey sighed, absentmindedly picking at the label on the bottle of  Dom Pérignon.

 

“What is it, Rey? You okay?”

 

Rey let out a soft laugh, shaking her head with a sad smile. He could read her like a book. She knew she’d never be able to keep any secrets from Poe for long. 

 

“I...I have a feeling…”

 

“What kind of feeling? Good one? Bad one? I mean...you  _ are  _ going to Malta...it could rain or something.”

 

“It’s not that kind of feeling,” she murmured as she anxiously chewed on the side of her lip.

 

Rey could hear him let out a long sigh on the other line and could practically see him lounging in the corner of his sofa with a guitar slung across his lap - running his fingers absentmindedly as he mulled over what he wanted to say to her next. 

 

“What do you want me to be right now, Sunshine? You wanna run? I’ll be there in twenty minutes with a getaway car. We’ll go to the airport and run away to wherever you want to go. You want me to kick your ass down that aisle? I’ll do that too - because I love you.”

Rey sat silently on the bed, fiddling with the edge of her silken robe with a sigh. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him that she’d so foolishly called Kylo...not when that day had led to some of the worst mistakes she’s ever made. Her heart ached at the mere thought of it when Poe spoke again.

 

“So, what is? What do you want to do, Rey?”

 

“...I don’t know…”

 

“You kinda gotta decide soon, babe.”

 

“I know...I just...tell me everything is going to be alright...be there, hold my hand...and...I need my best friend. Is that okay?”

 

“It’s more than okay, Rey. Always more than okay. Why don’t you lay down, close your eyes for a little while, and in the morning, I’m sure you’ll feel so much better.”

 

“You’re probably right,” she whispered, setting the, now empty, bottle of champagne on the bedside table before tucking herself under the covers, “Can you...can you stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep? Please…”

 

“I’ll be here. You go.”

 

*

 

“Oh, Poe…” Hanna breathed as she clutched her favorite teddy to her chest, nestling the tip of her nose against its ear, “He’s such a good friend. Helping you get married when he is so obviously in love with you.”

 

“Yeah...he was the very best kind of friend.”

 

“So,” the little girl sighed, squeezing poor Teddy harder in the process, “What happened next?”

 

*

 

The bulk of the next day, Rey spent in a wedding cloud, surrounded by people who doted on her and made sure her every need was met. Armitage had arranged for she and all of her bridesmaids to have their hair and makeup expertly done...on top of a morning spent in the spa of the hotel. She didn’t have time to think about the night before and the phone calls she had made...all that mattered was the luxuriously feeling of her feet soaking in a hot bath of Epsom salt while she got a much-needed pedicure. 

 

The hours ticked by at a blinding pace, and before she knew it, Rey had been stuffed into the back of a Rolls Royce and sent on her way to the cathedral. A soft, blush pink ribbon fluttered in the wind across the hood of the antique car, and Rey’s heart stuttered along with it with each block closer they got. 

 

In the dimming light of day, with the New York City skyline ablaze with a magnificent blend of persimmon and gold, the car that carried her to the beginning of the rest of her life slowed down and pulled up alongside the curb. The driver stepped around the front of the car, and dutifully pulled open the door. 

 

With the release of a long sigh, Rey met the faces of her waiting wedding party with a smile, reaching out her hand towards the handsome, tuxedoed man who stood vigilantly in the shadow of the cathedral for her to arrive. 

 

Poe tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow, looking positively dashing in his freshly pressed tux and clean-shaven face. 

 

“How ya feelin’, Sunshine? It isn’t too late, we can hop back into that Rolls and get out of here if that’s what you want,” he whispered into her ear through her veil that hung over her. She looked up at him through the delicate, luxurious netting with an anxious smile.

 

“I’m good.”

 

“As long as you’re sure. If you change your mind…”

 

“You’ll be the first to know,” she smiled. 

 

He guided her up the long set of stairs, lined with elegant bunches of white roses, hydrangeas, and candles that flickered against the growing darkness in the sky.

 

Rey’s bridesmaids fussed with her billowing train and the glittering veil that trailed far behind it, making sure every inch of the voluminous, off the shoulder gown was perfect before she started her journey up the aisle - to him.  

 

She could hear the faint lull of a string quartet coming from the main chamber of the massive church, blending seamlessly with the low din of the guests that filled each pew. 

 

Lifting her eyes to Rose as she strode over with her bouquet, Rey’s heart froze when she saw the worried look upon her friend’s face.

 

The bride used her forearm to lift her veil from her face, her voice filled with alarm when she met her gaze.

 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” 

 

Rey was filled to the brim with a cold prickle of dread when Rose hesitated for a beat, shifting her eyes to Poe by her side and back with a deep, shaky breath.

 

“He’s not here.”

 

“What do you mean he’s not here? We’re twenty minutes late,” Rey balked, fighting the sudden urge to panic. 

 

“He’s not in the church,” Rose murmured.

 

“Something probably happened, someone give me my phone,” the wedding party all looked at each other wide-eyed, which only fanned the flames of the panic that began to sink in deeper, “Someone give me a fucking phone!”

 

 They all scrambled as her the sound of her voice escalated abruptly, reaching into their pockets and purses to hold out her choice of devices. Rey snatched one from a proffered hand and strode towards a corner of the foyer in a cloud of rustling silk and taffeta. 

 

She smashed a series of numbers and lifted the cellphone to her ear, holding her breath as the tone rang. 

 

_ Ring. _

 

_ Ring. _

 

_ Ring. _

 

With each ring on the line, the icy cold tendrils of her fear began to creep higher up her arms from the tips of her fingers, settling heavily in the pit of her stomach.

 

“ _ Please _ , Armitage. Answer the damned phone,” she whispered to herself as she stared at the glittering toes of her Christian Louboutins that peeked out from the hem of her voluminous gown.

 

_ Ring. _

 

_ Ring. _

 

_ Ring. _

 

As each second passed, the tears began to pool behind her eyelashes, threatening to fall free as they grew heavier - until his voice filled her ears like the answer to a prayer.

 

“Hello, Darling.”

 

“Oh God, Tage, I was so scared,” Rey felt a rush of warmth and relief wash over her, soothed by the gentle lull of his voice, “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“Christ, I am so relieved. I was beginning to think you weren’t coming,” she breathed, lifting her fingers to gingerly carry her tears from her eyes. She couldn’t help the smile from spreading across her face at the overwhelming feeling, since she had been clouded by a terrible feeling that it was all going to go to hell since the night before - something she was sure stemmed from the last time she was supposed to get married, “Hurry up and get here, my love. I can’t wait to marry you, and you know I’m not a patient person.”

 

A measured, heavy silence strung between them, like ice on a rope in the depths of winter, and suddenly, Rey’s blood went cold all over again.

 

“I can’t be there, darling. No matter how badly I want to be,” Armitage uttered through the line, sealing the icy seal on Rey’s heart in a split second, “I suspect it’ll be out soon, and I couldn’t have you wrapped up in it. I wish...fuck, I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but it’s for the best. Just...know that I love you, Pet. This isn’t at all how I wanted this to be.”

 

The line went dead with a click, and suddenly Rey found herself swimming in the dizzy haze of her shock and heartbreak. Blinking slowly in the muted light of the church, Rey drew the phone from her ear, quickly losing her grip on the device, letting it take a gravity-propelled trip to the floor with a clatter.        

 

“He’s...he’s not coming,” Rey whispered, reaching her hands around her waist to try and hold herself - and her emotions in - lifting her eyes to meet Poe’s as the first gasping sob tumbled from her lips, “Somebody get me out of here… _ GET ME OUT OF HERE! _ ”

 

Her breaths began to come in sharp waves, and her gown felt like it was squeezing the life out of her as her mind reeled over every moment, every warning, every guest waiting inside the cathedral, just behind the doors where she stood. 

 

Poe jumped into action first, wrapping an arm around her waist to shuffle her back outside where the car was still waiting. Rey clawed at the bodice of her gown, struggling to take a breath with her chest heaving as he ran around to the side and helped to stuff the yards upon yards of fabric into the leather-lined backseat. 

 

He jogged around to the other side and, upon opening the door, Rey’s bouquet was sitting on the seat beside her. With a single, sad look at his best friend, hunched over and breathless against the window of the Rolls Royce, Poe took the bundle of beautiful flowers in his hand for a moment. 

 

In their rush to get out of the cathedral, some of the beautiful petals were bent and broken, not unlike Rey at that very moment. 

 

With a sigh, he dropped them to the pavement and slid in the car beside her. 

 

The antique car circled around, traveling through the city as the last of the daylight fell away, and with each passing moment, the more Rey’s thoughts spun round and around.

 

Her hazel eyes flittered wildly, only adding to the dizziness she felt, as she watched the buildings fly by with flashes of a bright yellow taxi cab and stop light against the darkness. 

 

“Stop the car,” Rey called out, her breath leaving a fog against the window, her breath stolen away by the image of candle-lined stairs leading up to a building she knew by heart. 

 

The place where they were supposed to be celebrating her marriage at that very moment - the New York Public Library.

 

“Rey, are you sure you want to?” Poe reached for her as the driver held the door open for her to climb out.

 

“I...I just want to see it. Everyone worked so hard…” Rey murmured, lifting her eyes up towards the monolithic building as she tore her veil from the sleek chignon at the base of her neck, letting it leave her fingers to float away in the breeze like a bird on the ocean. 

 

Mesmerized by the flickering candlelight against the limestone facade of the New York City landmark, Rey strode up the steps, forgetting for a moment, the weight of her gown and of her heart as she stepped through the revolving doors. 

 

The library had been closed for the day, leaving it entirely empty for their meticulously planned event. As soon as she walked through the door, Rey was bombarded with the sweet scent of the thousands of flowers that were lovingly perched on nearly every surface at the entrance.

 

Rey wandered through the muted candlelight that continued from the steps to the narrow hallway that led towards their reception hall. She let her eyes meander from flame to flame, keeping a mental count of the ones that had long been extinguished, her heart was reduced to a dull ache as she saw every minuscule detail that had only been an idea on a piece of paper - brought to life right before her very eyes. 

 

Her breath hitched in her throat as she turned a corner, and the corridor opened up into a wide-open room, softly lit in muted whites, with flower arrangements dripping from every surface and every elegantly set table.

 

It was ethereal..dreamlike, in a way. 

 

With the rustle of silk against the marble floor, Rey stepped forward and smiled softly when the music that played quietly in the background played a song that she wished she could be dancing with her husband at that moment.

 

She swayed slightly on her feet, maybe some sort of combination of a sad dance and the emotional exhaustion of her body, deciding to do what the song instructed her to do.

 

_ Hold my breath, and I’ll count to ten. I’m the paper and you’re the pen. You fill me in, you’re permanent. And you leave me to dry… _

 

Rey followed her feet to the sad, distant melody of the music, stepping towards the cake that was almost too lovely to eat - so she swiped her finger alongside it and stuck the decadent buttercream in her mouth with a bittersweet sense of childlike joy. 

 

“They say that it’s poor etiquette to cut a wedding cake alone.”

 

With her finger still planted firmly between her lips, her heart stuttered when she lifted her hazel gaze to the voice that rang out from the doorway on the far side of the hall. 

 

She couldn’t help her smile when she saw the playful glint in Poe’s eye and knew right away that he was doing that thing he always did so well - bringing her back from the edge, even though Rey was sure that this particular ache would last for some time. 

 

“It’s my cake and the other half of this whole...ensemble…kinda skipped out on his end of the bargain...so I’m going to have some cake, thank you very much,” Rey uttered dryly, swiping another taste, “No one’s stopping you from partaking, Dameron.”

 

“I just might,” he stepped up beside her and took a generous amount, holding it out to her with a sly grin, “What flavor is this? I don’t think I’ve seen one this color before…”

 

Rey looked at him with a hint of a glint in her eye as she opened her mouth and took the entire bite from Poe’s hand.

 

“It’s peanut butter and jelly,” she mumbled through the mouthful of cake in her mouth, wiping at the corners with the tips of her fingers. 

 

“I should have known you would have picked a flavor only a four-year-old could enjoy,” Poe shook his head with a smile, lifting his eyes to the ceiling with a smile when the song changed. He held out his hand to her as his smile melted away, “Fancy a dance? Since we’re all dressed up and all.”

 

With a quiet sigh, and fearful what being held in a comforting grasp would do to her, Rey reached out and placed her hand in his proffered palm.

 

In a gentle movement, Poe pulled her hand against his heart and circled his arm around her waist, letting out a long breath when she settled her head against his shoulder with a groan - like the day had taken everything she had left to give. He tucked his nose against her hair, holding her close as her lithe body began to tremble from the sheer weight of it all.  

 

_ I’m gonna love you, ‘til you start lookin’ back. I’m gonna love you so right, I wouldn’t need a second chance. _

 

They softly swayed to the music as it swirled around them, losing themselves to that moment, with Poe forming a protective cocoon around Rey as she finally let her emotions fall free - spilling out with each quiet sob.


	9. I'll Only Hurt You If You Let Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey watched the drama surrounding her fiancé unfold in an astonishingly public display across every news channel. 
> 
> Corruption and dirty deals gone wrong had led to the catastrophic collapse of the business that - Rey knew now - Armitage worked for. When she saw his unmistakable auburn hair on Rose’s television screen, being hauled out of the Snoke Enterprise and Holdings building in a pair of handcuffs with his designer suit, it was suddenly, unmistakably clear. 
> 
> _”I can’t have her wrapped up in this.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48944321442/in/photostream/)

The time faded away. It fell away like the pages of a calendar, fading as the sunlight did at the end of each day, ready to paint the world anew with the new light the next day. 

 

Rey kept herself together in the days following the wedding the best that she could, but some days were more difficult than others. 

 

She stayed with Rose for a time and watched the drama surrounding her fiancé unfold in an astonishingly public display across every news channel. 

 

Corruption and dirty deals gone wrong had led to the catastrophic collapse of the business that - Rey knew now - Armitage worked for. When she saw his unmistakable auburn hair on Rose’s television screen, being hauled out of the Snoke Enterprise and Holdings building in a pair of handcuffs with his designer suit, it was suddenly, unmistakably clear. 

 

_ ”I can’t have her wrapped up in this. _ ”

He was trying to protect her. Protect her from the torrential media downpour that was happening, and surely would have turned her life upside down in an entirely different way than it already had been. 

 

But which way would have hurt her less?

 

With Rose and Poe’s help, she was able to get a few things - not much - from their apartment...including a glittering pair of Christian Louboutins that Rey didn’t have the heart to leave behind. 

 

Within a couple of weeks, the weather began to warm up even further outside, and Rey found herself in her own place. 

 

It was quieter, and so much more lonely than she expected it would be - but the truth of the matter was, Rey had gotten used to having someone, to having someone to come home to...to talk to...a family. 

 

In her lonely little bubble tucked deep into The Bowery, Rey cashed in all of her time off, closed her curtains, and became good friends with the delivery guy from the Cantonese restaurant around the corner. 

 

Every once in a while, her phone would ring, lighting up her dark little paradise with the screen that practically begged for her to chuck it across the room. First, there were the calls to her cellphone...then the smart fuckers started to figure out that she was one of the last people in all of Manhattan that still had a landline.

 

The messages were a little harder to ignore when she didn’t have to pick up the phone...and they started to come one after the other.

 

First, it was her boss, Amilyn, checking in to see if she needed anything and that she could work from home for as long as she needed. Then it was Rose, pleading for her to come out, even if it was just for an hour.

 

Every once in a while, a voice would ring out from the machine that would pull her attention away from her television, even for a moment.

 

_ Hey, it’s Poe. Your best friend, remember? I want to talk to you about your birthday. Call me. _

 

_ Hello...uh...I hope this is the right number. It sounds like you...anyways...this is Kylo. I’m, uh, I’m in New York, soaking up the energy you always told me about. You’re right. It’s kind of great. Anyways. Uh. I was thinking that...if you wanted...we could get together sometime and grab a cup of coffee? Y’know...catch up or something? I’ve been thinking about you a lot since that night. It...it was really good to hear your voice again. My number is… _

 

She turned up the volume after that. 

 

_ Hey, it’s Poe...again. I still need to talk to you. Please call me back. Don’t make me come over there and kick your ass out the door. I’ll be there at 6...please be ready. _

 

Nothing came from Armitage.

 

The take-out containers and the voicemails started to pile up as each day passed by. Sure, she probably should have called her friends back, and she swore she might have seen Kylo’s name pop up a time or two. Yes, she probably spent too much time in her yoga pants and her Uggs, but when it was just her and the relatively new concept of reality tv and whoever these Kardashians she found herself keeping up with, Rey couldn’t bring herself to care about anything else. 

 

On a random night, she was sure was a Tuesday, a pounding on her door startled her from the tiny piece of water chestnut she was so desperately trying to fish out of the bottom of the cardboard container with her chopsticks. 

 

With a groan, Rey grasped the wooden utensils between her teeth and trudged to the apartment door, letting out a curse when she looked through the peephole and saw an expectant Poe.

 

“Shit.”

 

She turned her back to the door and hoped that he hadn’t heard her...and if she was lucky, he would think she wasn’t home and would leave.

 

“I can hear you, you know. There’s no tricking me that you’re not home, Sunshine. I know you. This is your MO...and I am telling you now...you are  _ not _ being a dirty little hermit on your own birthday.”

 

With a few twists of her wrists, Rey undid the series of locks and assorted deadbolts on the door and flung it wide open with an incredulous look on her face.

 

“I am not a dirty little hermit!”

 

Poe gave her a slow once-over with his dark eyes, eyebrows raised as he looked from her worn hugs to the messy top knot on her head, “Well. You are dirty. Is that what you’re wearing? Go take a shower, we’re going out.”

 

“Do I have to?” Rey whined, “I have take-out coming.”

 

He reached for the cardboard box in her hand and bent down to pick another one up from the floor with a grimace.

 

“I think you’ve enjoyed plenty of noodles for the time being, babe.”

 

Rey tried to pout, but Poe was completely immune to any ounce of her bullshit, crossing his arms over his chest before he tapped on her calf with his toe, gently nudging her to get a move on.

 

“Fine,” Rey pouted, turning on her heel to head towards the bathroom, “...but since it’s MY birthday, I don’t have to be happy about this, just so you know!”

 

“Oh, I planned for your unhappiness, Sunshine, don’t you worry!” Poe called after her with a chuckle.

 

A short while later, Poe and Rey were tucked into the corner of a nondescript little deli on the Upper West Side. Rey motioned to the bartender for a gin and tonic as she continued to badger Poe about what they’d begun to talk about on the subway ride Uptown.

 

“I don’t care how many ways you try to paint it, I am not going to ask an intern out on a date,” she retorted.

 

“Why not? I heard he’s cute.”

 

“I don’t want to. I don’t want a fling. I want the real deal.”

 

“Rey, forget about the real fucking deal. Look what’s happened to you. You kept looking when, in reality, the real deal finds you,” Poe stated, smiling up at their waitress when she brought by their drinks.

 

“What does that even mean?”

 

“It means,” her best friend took a slow swig of his beer, “It means that you get to a certain age and then...you know...you’re ready. You know, ready for kids or a commitment or....whatever else that means...I dunno, a mortgage?”

 

“So….” Rey circled her index finger around the rim of her glass before lifting the straw to her lips to take a lingering sip.

 

“Do you know what I mean?”

 

“No...I mean...I don’t know. You’re saying that it’s not who...but it’s when?”

 

“Exactly,” Poe lifted his bottle with a sly smile. 

 

“Oh. Okay then. So...there’s never been a girl, ever, that made you stop and think, ‘This is it. This is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with’?” Rey responded, her eyebrows bent into a skeptical gaze.

 

Poe’s smug smile melted away for a moment as he looked at her from across the table, his face entirely unreadable before he shifted his attention to the paper label on the bottle.

 

“No.”

 

“Okay, so then why are you here with me in this shitty restaurant instead of out there...you know… _ enjoying yourself _ ?”

 

“I am,” Poe shrugged.

 

“You are?”

 

“Mmmhm. Right now, I am seeing this girl, Emily.”

 

“Emily?”

 

“Emily.”

 

“Who the hell is Emily? Where did...how come you never, you know...mentioned her?” Rey took an anxious drink, her stomach twisting in an unfamiliar, jealous way when she thought of Poe keeping this from her...and his reasons why. 

 

“I’m mentioning her now.”

 

“I see…” Rey lifted the glass and drained away the rest of the liquid, closing her eyes to the delectable flavor of the Tanqueray as it coated her tongue and warmed her chest, motioning to the waitress with a smile and a tap of her finger on the glass for another, “I’m happy for you.”

 

“Thanks,” Poe murmured, picking at the edge of his label, “So, your birthday.”

 

“Yes. Another whole year older, and so much for eligible,” Rey groused.

 

“We’ve got some plans after this at Kanata’s. There’s a lot of people waiting to see you...you know, since you’ve been in your hobbit hole for so long, Bilbo.”

 

Rey groaned, rolling her eyes towards the ceiling as she practically deflated in her seat.

 

“You mean...like, a birthday party?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Do we have to?”

 

“There’s gonna be cake…”

 

Rey regarded him cooly, mulling over his words...especially the ones revolving around cake...deciding if she should give in and do the one thing she  _ should  _ even though being in a room full of people was the last thing she wanted to do.

 

“Fine,” she breathed, taking a long drink of her second gin and tonic when it arrived at the table, “You’re buying, though.”

 

“You got it, birthday girl,” Poe laughed, reaching out to clink his bottle of beer against her glass with a smile. 

 

After another drink and a shared appetizer, Rey had her arm hooked through Poe’s as they walked down the block, following the sound of happily raucous voices filtering out from the dive bar on the corner.

 

When they reached the door, Poe pulled the door open and ushered Rey inside with a lingering touch on the small of her back. 

 

Rey couldn’t help the smile on her face when a resounding cheer went up as she walked in and she found herself pulled into a series of hugs and handshakes, each one telling them how much they’d missed her - expressing how good she looked after...  _ you know. _

 

She sat on a stool, quietly sipping at a Manhattan as she watched her old friends and coworkers mingle happily together. Her mind bent and shifted as each minute ticked by, surrounded by everyone else’s happy little bubble, unable to ease the ache in her heart when she was forced to remember how hers had so dramatically burst. 

 

There were times when she thought she was over it, over the heartbreak of  _ another  _ betrayal. It came in waves, coming in her most quiet moments to choke the breath from her body. Most of all, she felt like a sucker. A fool. A fool for falling for a man who offered her everything and pulled the rug out from beneath her feet. 

 

She nursed her drink, feeling fuzzy and delightfully numb as she swayed slightly from the lightness in her head. Blinking slowly in the muted neon light and swirling smoke, Rey kept her gaze trained on Poe. The shadow that followed the square line of his jaw, the way his eyes crinkled around the edges when he laughed, and the way he so effortlessly made her heart feel lighter. 

 

Rey felt like the biggest fool when it came to him. 

 

They’d done what friend never should have, and he had so gallantly moved beyond it, transplanting himself to the pot marked with bright, red letters that read  **_FRIEND_ ** when Rey knew that he wanted the alternative so much more - until now.

 

How was it that she didn’t notice until it was too late, the way he looked at her? The way he so blindly loved her and made her feel lighter when everything that surrounded her felt like an impossibly heavy weight to bear? Poe happily shared the burden with her, making her feel hope when she wanted to stay hopeless, and feel love when she felt like she was undeserving. 

 

She certainly was. Fate seemed to have proved it over, and over again. 

 

Fueled by the liquor and swimming in a deep pit of self-loathing of her own making, Rey slid from her stool and strode out of the bar to the sidewalk, sure that no one would notice if she was gone. 

 

Rey wasn’t sure how much time had gone by, or how she got there, but she looked up again from the can in her paper bag, Poe was looking down at her.

 

“Why’d you leave? We all looked for you.”

 

“M’sorry, Poe. It was...a bit crowded for me. A bit too happy.”

 

“You missed your birthday cake, Sunshine. I baked it for you,” he pulled his hands from the pockets of his jacket, stepping up the the grimy stoop beside her, leaning his back against the red door that led to her old, Chinatown apartment. He reached across her and took the bag from her hands, taking a long swig from the tall can.

 

Rey’s head swiveled around to face him with a drunken smile that felt like it reached her ears.

 

“Ohhh, you  _ baked for me _ ? Oh….Poe….”

 

“Sure did...I baked it.”

 

Rey nodded slowly, bouncing her head to the beat of a song that only existed in her head, relishing in the relative quiet that the narrow, Chinatown streets had that time of night. 

 

“Do you remember that day? That first day here?”

 

“What, when you were dancing naked with your windows wide-open?” Poe laughed, taking another sip of the beer.

 

“Thats’the one,” Rey lifted her finger, swirling it around in the air like she was the conductor of an invisible orchestra, “M’sorry. I..I really should’ve had some curtains. But thank you for not being creepy…”

 

“Yeah, no problem, Sunshine,” Poe turned his gaze to her with a distant smile, “Someone’s had too much to drink.”

 

“Have not. No, nooope. No sir. Not a bit.”

 

“Yeah, you did. Come on,” Poe set the paper bag-wrapped can on the stoop and pushed himself to stand, reaching to pull Rey up from against the crimson door, “Let’s get you home.”

 

Rey swayed on her feet as she stood, closing her eyes for a moment as she reached out and braced herself against the lapels of Poe’s jacket. She slowly opened them again, quietly regarding her friend for a moment as she blinked slowly in the neon light.

 

“God...you’re beautiful,” she murmured, lifting her fingers to trace them against the dark stubble on his jaw.

 

“Thank you,” Poe looked back at her with a quizzical gaze, keeping her steady on her feet with his hands on her waist, “What is it?”

 

“The thing is....the  _ THING  _ is, I like you,” Rey poked at his chest, pushing herself away to wander a slow circle in the street. Poe watched her silently, his brows pressed together as she paced back and forth before she brought her eyes back to him, “I’ve always liked you...fuck… _ LIKE _ ... that is such a fucking pathetic word. I’m pathetic. LOVE, on the other hand….you’d probably run away from a word like that. But….it’s true.  _ I love you.  _ I’m in love with you, Poe.”

 

“Rey…” he stepped towards her, his dark eyes full of an ache she couldn’t quite place in her drunken state, “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

 

“Come on,” Rey retorted, “You know exactly why I never told you. You’d never want me...not as someone’s leftovers...and I’m certainly no  _ Clowdeeeah. _ ”

 

“You’re so fucking stupid, Rey.”

 

Rey blinked at him for a moment before surging forward to cage his face in her hands and bring his mouth to hers for a bruising kiss. It was over as quickly as it began as Poe pulled away, turning away from her with a grimace.

 

“Stop.”

 

“Stop what?” Rey reached for him again, her heart lurching with instantaneous hurt when he stepped away.

 

“Not like this, Rey.”

 

“Like what?” she carded her fingers through her chestnut hair.

 

“Look at you, Rey. You’re a fucking mess. Why couldn’t you have said something before? Before everything else? When you had your shit together?”

 

“My….my shit is very together right now, thank you very much,” she retorted, crossing her arms over her chest.

 

“Your shit is a fucking disaster, Rey. You’re the mess.”

 

“I’m the disaster? I’m the mess? That’s so, so interesting coming from you,  _ Coffee Guy.  _ You could do anything you wanted. You could be off flying a fucking plane like you always wished, but you’re just a tour guide in Chinatown. What’s that about? Don’t preach to me about being a mess. Look at yourself. At least I tried. I got out there and I put my heart on the line and I  _ tried,”  _ Rey’s face was impassive and cold as she looked back at the hurt in Poe’s eyes, but continued to press forward and twist the knife a little further, “I’m saying this as your friend, and I swear, it’s just as a friend and not as this idiot girl who thought she might possibly like you…but, maybe it’s high time you went out and, you know, got some help. Go to rehab or life rehab or some shit like that. I don’t know if that type of thing exists or not, but you should find out because you could use it. You’re like...the number one, prime candidate.”

 

“Okay,” Poe nodded, curling his tip between his lip as he lifted his gaze up towards the brightly-colored signs written in Cantonese that plastered every square inch above each closed shop, “I should go to  _ life rehab? _ ”

 

“You heard me.”

 

“Get the fuck out of here, Rey. I don’t want to see you anymore,” Poe turned away and stepped across the alleyway towards his own front door, turning the key and stepping inside without a second look at her.

 

*

 

“You were right, Mama,” Hanna whispered into her blankets that were tucked all the way up to her freckled face, “It is complicated, isn't it?” The little girl sat forward and coiled a dark tendril of her hair around her finger as she looked down at the list she’d made with her crayons, “I mean...You’re in love with Poe, who thought he was in love with Claudia, and then he realized he was in love with you...but you were in love with Armitage, who had all this secret trouble with his job. And now...now that you’re in love with Poe, he’s in love with Emily....and no one is in love with you.” She took a deep breath and drew her knees to her chest with a sigh, “That’s complicated.”

 

“Yeah, Sweetheart, it really is,” Rey reached up and smoothed away a stray baby hair from her daughter’s forehead.

 

“Then what happened?”

 

*

 

Weeks had gone by since that horrible night when Rey had destroyed the relationship that was the most precious to her. She walked down the street, thumb tucked into the strap of the bag she had slung over her shoulder, keeping her eyes to the sidewalk as she walked down the block. 

 

She’d tried to think of all the ways she could make it up to him, to try and make him see how sorry she was...and how much she truly loved him...even if it was too late to rebuild what she’d broken - until she saw it gleaming from a window display of an antique shop.

 

An oval emerald surrounded by a glittering halo of diamond tucked in a green velvet box that looked achingly familiar to the ones that Poe had kept lovingly as a reminder for the one that belonged to his mother he’d lost when he was young and had been searching for ever since. 

 

Rey pulled open the shop’s door with a  _ ding  _ and politely requested from the shop’s owner to look at the ring. She had a feeling about it and just  _ had _ to be sure. 

 

The owner came back around the counter with a smile, settling the open box in front of her on the glass counter.

 

“It’s in beautiful shape. The clarity of the stone is incredible, and there’s a really beautiful inscription on the inside of the band.”

 

Rey’s heart thudded wildly in her ears as she pulled the delicate piece of jewelry from where it had been nestled against the softest velvet, letting her fingers linger on the oval emerald before tilting the ring to look inside the gold band - letting out a soft gasp when she read what it said.

 

_ Written in the stars. _

 

She couldn’t believe her luck. It was it. His mother’s ring. The one Poe had been searching for all this time, and it had been sitting in this tiny little shop in the Village for only God knew how long.

 

Her mind reeled as she tried to think of how she could possibly dream of affording it. Her job paid well, but buying a new apartment had left her without much overhead while she found her feet again.

 

The afternoon sunlight streamed in through the shop’s window, catching the light of the diamond she still foolishly wore on her left hand. 

 

Rey held her hand out in front of her, quietly going over each memory in her mind before curling her fingers around the band to pull it from her finger and set in on the glass countertop, feeling the entire weight of the memory Armitage had left her with lift away as soon as the ring had left her hand. 

 

“How much can I trade with this?”

 

A few hours later, with the precious emerald ring weighing heavily in her jacket pocket, Rey strode down her old block in Chinatown, smiling to herself as she passed the old Chinese grannies with their metal carts as they traveled from stall to stall in the late summer sun.

 

She reached his door with and thought that her heart might burst forth from her chest when she rang the buzzer labeled “Dameron”.

 

With a ding, the door unlocked. Rey reached for the handle, pulling it open with shaking hands and a smile as she stepped into the hall and made her way up the stairs to Poe’s flat. 

 

Rey gave the door a rapt knock and anxiously chewed her lip as she waited for the door to open.

 

When the jingle and metallic clank of the unlocking of deadbolts echoed through the metal of the door, she couldn’t keep the broad smile from her face any longer - now only seconds from seeing his face for the first time in far too long.

 

Her effervescent smile faded away when she was met with the confused scowl of an impossibly petite, stunningly gorgeous, blonde girl who peeked out from behind the door, her blue eyes wide as she regarded the stranger in the hallway.

 

“Can I help you?”

 

“Hi,” Rey breathed, trying to quell the beating of her heart, “Is Poe around?”

 

“No, he’s at school.”

 

“School?”

 

“Flight school. He’s getting his pilot’s license.”

 

“Wow,” Rey murmured, her heart swelling with joy for her friend who was finally achieving his dream, “That’s great. Really.”

 

“Did you want me to pass on a message to him?”

 

“I...uh..” Rey looked down the hall and scratched at the back of her neck, “How long will he be gone for? Are you house-sitting for him?”

 

“I’m his girlfriend.”

 

“Oh! That’s...wow, that’s great too. I’m Rey,” she held out her hand, hoping that the girl wouldn’t see how it trembled.

 

“Rey! Yeah, I’ve heard of you...I’m Emily.”

 

“Emily...the same Emily Poe mentioned a while back?”

 

“I hope so,” the blonde girl smiled, “Unless he’s collecting Emilys.”

 

“That would be odd, for sure.”

 

“Yeah...besides...I’m pretty sure I”m the only Emily who’s living with him.”

 

“That’s...that’s really great…”

 

“Did you want to come in and wait for him? It shouldn’t be much longer…” Emily’s kind smile grew wider as she held open the door into the apartment that Rey knew by heart.

 

“You know what, I actually have to be Uptown in half an hour, so I really ought to be going, but it was really lovely to meet you, Emily.”

 

Rey smiled at the girl, trying desperately to hide the ache in her heart as she turned on her heel to walk back down the hallway.

 

She kept on walking until the time started to drift away, melting beyond her view until it all started to go by in a blur. 

 

Over time, Rey found herself steady on her feet again, without a mountain of take-out boxes and her Uggs tucked away in the top of her closet.

 

Summer faded into the bright amber hues of Autumn, bringing the swirling leaves of red and gold skittering through the New York City streets.

 

With the fading hues of fall came the winds of Wintertime, and before she knew it, the city was like a snow globe - filled to the brim with dazzling Christmas lights and glittering flurries of snow.   

With the entire island of Manhattan wrapped up in the Christmas spirit, Rey couldn’t keep herself from her favorite place in the city for much longer, and it wasn’t long before she strode up the limestone staircase of The Met for the first time in too many months. 

 

The bustling museum instantly warmed her cold cheeks as soon as she stepped through the gilded door, feeling effervescent and light to be back in the place she loved and surrounded by so many beautiful things.

 

Rey wandered quietly through the Medieval Sculpture Hall, reverently gazing upon the stunningly handcrafted statues of the Madonna and Child, when a soft voice echoed through the Spanish choir screen at the center of the room. 

 

“Hello, darling.”

She lifted her eyes in a flash and nearly lost her footing when she found herself face-to-face with a pair of glittering blue eyes and a curtain of auburn hair.

 

“Armitage,” she breathed, her hands trembling with the shock of seeing him again so unexpectedly.

 

He stepped forward from behind the screen, the hint of a smile playing on his lips as he squared his shoulders and kept his hands firmly cemented in his pockets.

 

“I should have known that Fate would have brought us here together again at some point,” he murmured, keeping a respectful distance from his former lover who had clearly been stunned by his appearance.

 

Rey chewed her lip as she looked him over. He was still the same, but different, somehow. Softer around the edges than he had been before.

 

“This was always our place, wasn’t it?” she whispered, absentmindedly fiddling with the seam of her wool coat as she anxiously shifted her eyes towards the lofty rafters, “I thought that you...you were...I saw on the tv.”

 

“I was,” Armitage nodded, his smile melting away, “I made a deal to put Snoke away for as long as they could. They nearly sent me back to England...but I’ve...I’ve been laying low.”

 

“Why...why didn’t you reach out?”

 

The man’s eyes began to shimmer with tears of regret that lingered on his pale eyelashes.

 

“I...I was ashamed. Of what happened...how it happened. You know how I live for control...it all spiraled so quickly, and I couldn't bear to take you with me into the storm. It hasn’t been easy.”

 

“It hasn’t, has it?”

 

A heavy silence stretched between them, filled to the brim with everything that had happened between them in such a short span of time.

 

“It was probably for the best, don’t you think? I mean..it was great fun while it lasted...and I  _ *did*  _ love you...truly, I did.”

 

“I’m glad, darling,” he smiled back at her before reaching into his breast pocket to pull out a piece of paper and a pen, “I want to try and make it up to you...as friends. I’m having a little holiday party...I want you to come,” Armitage scribbled on the paper, handing it towards her with a playful grin, “I won’t have any arguments. Wear your best. God...it was wonderful to see you again, Rey.”

 

“You...you too, ‘Tage.”

 

Her ex-lover stepped forward and left a lingering kiss on her forehead before calling out as he strode away, “I had better see you there, darling!”

 

“And...he’s off,” Rey whispered to herself, pulling her attention to the piece of paper tucked into her palm, running her hands over the scrawled letters with a sigh. It was Christmastime. What would a little party hurt?

 

*

 

“Mum, wait. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

 

“What?” Rey pressed with a confused smile.

 

“This love-story mystery...what if I don’t like who my dad is?”

 

“Sweetheart, of course you’ll like who your dad is… _ he’s your dad.  _ And, you don’t have to wait long to find out, because...that very weekend...at that very party…”

 

“It’s Armitage, isn’t it?” Hanna burst out, her hazel eyes brimming with tears, “He broke your heart like that after making you a princess...no wonder you don’t want to be with him now. And I’m just a painful reminder of what happened,” the little girl flung herself face-down into her covers, crying quietly as Rey gently rubbed comforting circles on her back.

 

“It’s okay, Hanna, it’s only a story...and this one has the  _ happiest  _ ending ever.”

 

Hanna tugged herself from her mountain of blankets and stuffed animals, smearing the hot tracks of tears from her freckled cheeks with a hiccup.

 

“How does it have a happy ending?” she cried, sending more tears trailing down her round face, “You and my dad...whoever he is… _ you’re getting divorced!  _ What’s happy in that?”

 

“Okay,” Rey sat back and stood up from Hanna’s bed, “I think it’s time to stop.”

 

“No!”

 

“You’re upset, Sweetheart. This isn’t what I wanted…”

 

“I...I’m okay,” her daughter murmured through her hiccups.

 

“How about, I make us a cup of tea, alright? After...I’ll continue with the story. Does that sound good?” Rey paused by the door, waiting for the tenacious little girl to answer, “Hanna?”

 

“Okay.”

 

As Rey turned to step into the hallway, Hanna’s voice spoke out again.

 

“Mama?” Rey met her gaze with an expectant smile when the girl’s face grew serious, “I can’t believe you smoked and drank and were such a jerk sometimes...but I still love you.”

 

“Thanks,” Rey laughed, “I love you too, Hanna.”

 

She stepped down the hallway towards the kitchen, busying herself with heating the water in the kettle. Her mind thought back to the Christmas party Armitage had invited her to, and what had happened there with a fond smile, letting herself wander through the memory of it as she absentmindedly stirred a spot of cream into the cups. 

 

When she was finished, Rey strode back towards Hanna’s room, a pair of mug swirling with steam in her hand, only to find the little girl tucked snugly amongst her stuffed animals - sound asleep.

 

With a quiet sigh, Rey set the freshly brewed tea on the nightstand and reached up to turn of the lights in the room. She reached out and let her fingers linger in Hanna’s hair for a moment, overwhelmed with the weight in her heart that practically overflowed with love for the little girl.  

No matter how badly they all might wish it, Rey knew that they couldn’t fix it and put their family back the way that they wanted it to be. They said that time could heal all wounds...but Rey wasn’t sure it could fix this one...even for Hanna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE!!!!!!!! 
> 
> Not much longer until THE BIG REVEAL!! Place your bets now!!!!!


	10. Big Love, Small Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, I think I discovered who Daddy is in the story.”
> 
> “Oh, really?”
> 
> “Really.”
> 
> “Well? Who is it, smartypants?”
> 
> “Not telling,” Hanna grinned, taking another bite of her breakfast, “The last time we saw Rey Niima, she had just discovered that the man she really loved, Poe Dameron, was in love with another woman.”
> 
> Rey’s eyebrows shot straight up into her hair as she sipped on her coffee, surprised that Hanna had played such close attention to every detail.
> 
> “I know, shocking, right?” Hanna continued with a wave of her hand, “Meanwhile, she accepted an invitation from her ex-fiancé, Armitage Hux, who, if he does turn out to be my father, then I am running away to Canada, and I am _not_ kidding….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT IS TIME
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48139539726/in/dateposted/)  
> 

The next morning came swiftly, bringing a newly renewed Hanna bounding from her bed as soon at the early morning light streamed through the condo’s towering windows. 

 

Rey rolled over with a groan, fresh from a dream that was filled to the brim with the ghosts of her past, lifting her arm just enough to leave enough room for the little girl to snuggle in beside her in the bed. 

 

It didn’t take long for Hanna to lose her patience for the leisurely pace Rey preferred for their Saturday morning, tugging at her mother to get out of bed - insisting that they get up and go to their favorite bagel place before meeting up with Hanna’s dad.

 

The crisp, cool air of the early October morning was positively magical. The city was painted every single color she imagined when she thought of the word, Autumn. From brilliant reds to muted golds, and everything in between. Even the wind carried a unique smell through the towering skyscrapers that lined nearly every inch of the island of Manhattan. 

 

Rey chased after Hanna, who bounded ahead of her once they’d crossed the street into Bryant Park, a bag of freshly baked bagels in her little hands.

 

“Hanna Rose, slow down, don’t eat them until we get to our bench!”

 

“Hurry up, Mum!” she called over her shoulder, dark curls shining as they bounced with her every step.

 

With her flat white in hand, Rey stepped up to the park bench and slid into her seat next to her favorite person in the entire galaxy.

 

“You’re in a good mood,” she smiled, reaching into the paper bag to hand Hanna a bagel. The freckled-faced little girl took a generous bite, chewing thoughtfully with a nod.

 

“Well, I think I discovered who Daddy is in the story.”

 

“Oh, really?”

 

“Really.”

 

“Well? Who is it, smartypants?”

 

“Not telling,” Hanna grinned, taking another bite of her breakfast, “The last time we saw Rey Niima, she had just discovered that the man she  _ really  _ loved, Poe Dameron, was in love with another woman.”

 

Rey’s eyebrows shot straight up into her hair as she sipped on her coffee, surprised that Hanna had played such close attention to every detail.

 

“I know, shocking, right?” Hanna continued with a wave of her hand, “Meanwhile, she accepted an invitation from her ex-fiancé, Armitage Hux, who, if he does turn out to be my father, then I am running away to Canada, and I am  _ not  _ kidding….”

 

*

 

Rey stepped into the lobby of the chic office building, the home of the publishing company Armitage had founded and had become wildly successful with, looking towards the ceiling to look at the glittering garland and Christmas trees that filled every spare inch of the sleek space. 

 

With a smile and a deep breath, Rey smoothed out the deep green satin of her dress and strode up to the tall man with the telltale auburn hair.

 

With a tap on his shoulder, Armitage turned around with a wide smile, leaning down to press a quick kiss to each of her cheeks.

 

“Rey, my darling, I am so happy you were able to come!”

 

They stood and talked for a few minutes, falling into a comfortable cadence as they moved from subject to subject.

 

“I...uh, I got these for you. Merry Christmas,” Rey pulled a small box that was tied with a gold ribbon from the pocket of her coat, watching with an anxious smile as he opened the parcel and revealed a pair of cufflinks.

 

“Oh, thank you. They’re beautiful,” he lifted his blue eyes to hers, his smile growing a little wider as he tucked the box into his breast pocket, “So are you.”

 

“‘Tage.”

 

“Rey.”

 

“Don’t mess with me, I can see where you’re going with this. In a second, you’re going to say something impossibly charming.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. It’s going to be amazing. Wonderful, truly. And then you’re going to sweep me off my feet, and we all know where that will lead.”

 

“Can’t a man miss a girl?” Armitage grinned down at her, reaching up to scrub his beard with his fingers.

 

“Yeah, he can, but not too much, or it will just end badly, and I really don’t have time for the pain, so let’s just skip all that, shall we?” Rey mused with a laugh.

 

“Fair enough,” he nodded with an amused smile, “Can we be friends?”

 

“Yeah! Absolutely! Sure.”

 

He held out his hand as his smile grew wider, regarding her with a tilt of his head.

 

“Shake on it?”

 

“Why the hell not?” Rey slid her hand into his palm, giving a slight squeeze and a shake before letting out a laugh when Armitage proceeded to loop her hand through the crook of his elbow, giving her a gentle tug further into the room.

 

“You know, there’s someone here I want you to meet. He’s right over here. He’s an old friend of mine, and I think you two will really, really hit it off.”

 

Rey followed Armitage’s glittering blue gaze to a man standing only a few feet away. While she could only see the back of him, he was utterly familiar to her. Impossibly tall with broad shoulders that filled out every inch of his black suit jacket, and waves of silky raven hair that brushed the black collar of his shirt.

 

She held her breath, unintentionally squeezing Armitage’s arm as the man in question turned around to face her.

 

Rey knew his eyes in an instant, deep brown with warm swirls of amber, an aquiline nose, and aristocratic features that could only belong to one man.

 

“Kylo?” Rey breathed, her hand slowly going lax from its hold on Armitage.

 

“I’m going to...go mingle with the other guests,” the redhead murmured with a smile, striding away to leave the pair of them alone. 

 

“You look…” they both stuttered at the same time, sending them both into a fit of anxious laughter.

 

“You look great,” he rumbled in that deep voice that was so distinctly Kylo.

 

“Thanks,” Rey murmured, anxiously fiddling with the step of her champagne glass, “Why are you in New York?”

 

“I...uh, I live here.”

 

“You what? You hate New York,” Rey exclaimed, her brows rising high into her chestnut hair. 

 

“I’ll admit, it’s not as bad as I thought it was going to be,” he shifted his dark eyes around the room before bringing his gaze back to hers with a heavy sigh, “I...I got a pretty great position at Colombia, and I’ve got a nice place in Brooklyn.”

 

“Wow...Brooklyn...that’s-“

 

“I called you, you know. I called you back after…”

 

“I know,” Rey chewed her lip with a nervous smile, “I...I’ve meant to call you back.”

 

“Liar.”

 

“I lost your number?”

 

“Sure,” Kylo let out a boyish giggle, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he smiled down at her.

 

“No, it’s completely true, I swear Kylo.”

 

“It’s okay, really, Rey,” Kylo pressed, his smile faltering for a split second.

 

“Okay, seriously, give me your number right now,” Rey fished around in her back for her cell phone, pulling up the contacts with a flip of her thumb, “I’m going to put it in here right now, that way I will never lose it again, okay?”

 

“Okay,” her former lover laughed, making the skin around his eyes crinkle in a way they didn’t the last time she saw him, “My number is, nine-one-seven, three-seven-two, one-one-six-seven.”

 

“Okay…” Rey breathed as she punched in each one, “One-one….and seven. Got it. Now it’s in here forever,” she grinned as Kylo pocket began to ring. She watched as he scrambled, his dark eyes wide as he reached inside to fetch his device. He pulled it from the pocket, mouthing an apology as he lifted it to his ear as he turned his back towards her, “Oh, no, go ahead!”

 

“Hello?” Kylo answered the call, and Rey’s coy smile grew wider.

 

“Hey, it’s Rey. I’m really sorry I lost your number.”

 

Kylo’s face melted back into the smile that Rey remembered so fondly, letting her eyes linger over each crease around his full mouth and the tilt of his head as he looked down to the floor while he pocketed his phone. He took a deep breath with an impossibly tense gaze at Rey, holding out a hand as the party’s music started to slow down.

 

“Wanna dance and make it up to me?”

 

Without a shred of doubt, Rey placed her hand in his, sighing against the subtle way he squeezed her fingers against his palm, sending a warm and welcoming shiver down to her toes as he led her towards the center of the dance floor.

 

Kylo circled his arm around her waist and pulled her against his broad chest, and suddenly, Rey was acutely aware of just how close his mouth was to her, hovering just outside of her line of sight. 

 

The gently swayed back and forth to the music, content with the comfortable and easy silence that was between them, leaving only the sound of the music and the intertwined beating of their hearts as accompaniment. 

 

As each second ticked by, Rey melted a little more, feeling so impossibly at ease in Kylo’s warm embrace. 

 

With a quiet sigh, Rey leaned into him, smiling herself when Kylo let out a surprised breath of air as she settled her head against his shoulder. He answered her with his body right away, tucking his nose into her hair as they swayed from side to side.

 

“I just had the weirdest flash of an entire life...one that never, ever happened,” Kylo rumbled into her hair, squeezing her ever so softly around her waist, “What did happen to us, Sweetheart?”

 

“You cheated on me with my roommate,” Rey laughed against his lapels.

 

“Oh...fuck, I’ll never not be sorry for that. Just think of how long we could have been doing this.”

 

“I mean...this all started because of my grand plan. The plan...remember?”

 

“Ah, the plan. The one where you were going to come home and not fall in love with this city,” Kylo pulled her tighter like he was afraid that, at any moment, he was going to lose her all over again, “It wasn’t your plan, Rey. I...I was scared of you and your dreams...and then, after you left me...I felt so fucking lost. I still feel that way, especially when it comes to relationships.”

 

“Me too,” Rey whispered, tucking her cheek a little closer against the beating of his heart, “It hasn’t been easy.”

 

“Did you...did you ever think…” Kylo stopped their movements and pulled away to reach down and cup his fingers around her jaw, tilting her wide-eyed gaze to meet his. He looked over her face for a moment, like he was rememorizing each new line and every fresh freckle that hadn’t been there before, smiling to himself as he reached up and tucked a stray strand of her chestnut hair behind her ear, “Did you ever think that maybe...we just needed a different plan?”

 

*

 

“Wait!” Hanna suddenly exclaimed, holding out her hands with her hazel eyes wide.

 

“What is it?” Rey pressed with a wide smile of her own.

 

“That thing...when he reached out and put your hair behind ear...that was how I figured it out!”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

“Mmhmm! That’s exactly what Daddy does whenever I am upset. He tucks my hair behind my ears, kisses me on the forehead and tells me to be brilliant, and amazing, and to shine like the sun, and it always makes me feel so much better!” Hanna bounced in her seat, looking at her mother expectantly. 

 

Rey let out a happy sigh as she reached out and brushed the pad of her thumb over her daughter’s freckled cheek.

 

“That sounds like a really amazing dad.”

 

“He  _ IS  _ an amazing dad.”

 

Rey lifted her gaze with a fond smile over Hanna’s shoulder before bringing her attention back to the little girl.

 

“So. You’re absolutely positive, totally  _ one-hundred percent sure _ that Kylo is the very same man who’s walking towards us right now?”

 

“Totally,” Hanna nodded with a great big grin blooming across her face, “Is it him?”

 

Rey gave her a nod and a nudge, laughing with that loving ache in her heart that only a mother could feel for her child as she watched her go bounding across the brick pavers into the arms of her father.

 

“Daddy!” 

 

“Hey kiddo!” he bounded forward, reaching out with his long arms to scoop Hanna up into a bone-crushing hug, nuzzling his long nose into her dark hair.

 

Rey adjusted her bag over her shoulder as she strode forward, her grin lingering on her face as she came up to the pair of them.

 

He shuffled Hanna in his arms, still holding her close as he met Rey’s eyes with a smile that was a ghost of the one that used to be reserved just for her.

 

“Good morning, Rey.”

 

“Hey, Ben.”

 

“How are my girls doing this morning,” he grinned at Hanna as he set her back down on her feet, “Get your usual bagels and brew?”

 

“Hot cocoa for me,” Hanna giggled, her eyes wide with wonder at she stared up at her dad in a whole new light.

 

“Huh,” Ben looked puzzled, stretching his head with a lopsided grin, “I thought for sure you were the one who got the triple shot Americano? I mean...if you’re not, I’ve been getting your order wrong for years.”

 

Hanna giggled when Ben reached down and tickled her sides mercilessly. When he let go, Hanna clamped her little arms as far as she could reach around his waist, squeezing him as hard as she could until he bent down and scooped her into his arms all over again.

 

“I am  _ so  _ glad it’s you, Daddy,” Hanna beamed, throwing her arms around his neck.

 

Ben looked at Rey with a puzzled look as he swirled gentle circles with is broad palm across her back.

 

“Who else would I be, Sweetheart?”

 

“Nobody, and that’s the point!”

 

“Whatever you say, kid. I’ll take your word for it,” Ben smiled, giving her another squeeze before bending his neck back to try and see her little, freckled face, “You ready to go?”

 

“I think so, just...hey Dad?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Can Mom come with us to the zoo?”

 

Ben looked to Rey, who stood a few feet away as she kept a respectful distance from the pair, giving a tiny shrug of his broad shoulders.

 

“Yeah, if Mom wants to come, sure,” he set Hanna back on her pink converses, holding out his hand for her and smiling all the wider when she curled her fingers around his forefinger.

 

Ben gave her a lopsided smile and welcoming nod as Rey mulled over the intrusion on his time alone with Hanna.

 

“Whaddaya say, Sweetheart? Got any hot plans for your Saturday, or do you wanna come slum it with us in Central Park?”

 

Rey’s heart swelled at the idea of a fresh happy memory with them as a family, so she stepped forward and took Hanna’s other hand.

 

“You know what, I love the zoo. Let’s all go together, it’ll be fun.”

 

They strode hand-in-hand, like the family they had always been, talking like nothing had changed at all.

 

“Daddy, guess what?” Hanna chimed in excitedly as they stepped through the wrought iron gates of the Central Park Zoo.

 

“What’s that, Han?” Ben mused.

 

“We learned all about sexual intercourse at school yesterday!”

 

“Oh...oh really?” 

 

Rey had to hold back her laughter from the incredulous look on Ben’s face that she was sure was on the edge of unadulterated fury that would probably surface on Monday in the form of a strongly worded email.

 

After a lingering visit with the sea lions, and plenty of giggles with the snow monkeys, The Solo Family stood quietly in the porg pavilion. Bathed in warm, cerulean light, they watched as the stout little birds hopped from stone to stone and tumbled into the water from their little orange flippers. 

 

Hanna, her nose practically pressed against the glass as Ben and Rey stood with their shoulders just a breath away from touching, happily watching their daughter’s toothy grin grow wider with every second she watched the little avians.

 

The little girl let out a great, big sigh that could have filled the room with everything is said by her not saying anything at all.

 

“I love porgs.”

 

“Me too,” Rey murmured.

 

“Me three,” Ben rumbled with a deep chuckle.

 

Hanna spun on her heel, shifting her hazel eyes from Rey, to Ben, and back again before turning her attention back to the little birds.

 

“Did you know that porgs mate for life? But...Ms. Holdo says that...sometimes, the husband porg and the wife porg get separated, ‘cause of their migraine patterns.”

 

“Migratory,” Rey and her husband lovingly corrected her in unison.

 

“Right,” Hanna breathed, “Well, sometimes, they’re apart for year and years...but they almost always find each other.”

 

The little girl hopped down from the concrete platform she stood on to get the best vantage point, growing more animated as she spun her story.

 

“Do you know what the husband and wife porgs do when they find each other after all of that time?” Hanna paused as she looked between her parents, expectantly waiting for an answer that only came in the form of them shaking their heads, “Well. They throw back their heads, flap their little flippers, and  _ *sing*  _ as loud as they can. Like, aaaaOOOOOOO!”

 

Rey and Ben laughed together at her silly display, and the whole time, Rey couldn’t quite quell the empty ache in her heart where Ben used to be. 

 

Being together as a family brought so many moments back to the front of her mind, and for a split second, Rey wished they could go back and do something more...try harder...be there for each other in a way that they needed, and had failed to be. 

 

“Come on, Sweetheart, we gotta get going. Nana and Papa are having us over for supper,” Ben held out his hand towards Hanna with a distant smile, and Rey wondered if he was feeling the same pangs as she was.

 

They walked together, hand in hand as they’d always done before, until their little family unit reached the end of the park where they all needed to go their separate ways. Rey to Lennox Hill. Ben and Hanna to Brooklyn.

 

Rey bent down and coiled her arms around Hanna, giving her a loving squeeze before releasing her.

 

“Thank you for inviting me to the zoo, Darling. I had so much fun. I’ll see you Wednesday, okay?”

 

She stood, brushing the dried-up remains of leaves from her knees as she watched them walk away, offering a wave and a sad smile to Ben, who briefly met her gaze before turning his attention back to Hanna.

 

Rey held her breath, silently counting each step as both her future and her past walked further away - catching abruptly in her throat when Hanna spun around and came hurtling back towards her.

 

“Mom!” Hanna collided with Rey, her freckled cheeks coated with fresh tears. She wiped her nose as she pulled away, murmuring softly, “Thank you for telling me the story.”

 

“You’re welcome, Sweetheart...but you know what?”

 

“What?” Hanna sniffled.

 

“I forgot to tell you the happy ending. Remember, I promised that it was the  _ happiest  _ ending ever?”

 

“W-what is it?”

 

Rey brushed Hanna’s dark curls away from her face, her face alight with a bittersweet smile as she looked over every single feature on her little face.

 

“You, Hanna. You’re the happy ending. It’s you. And we love you so much...because of that, baby girl.”

 

“I love you, too,” Hanna nodded, throwing her arms around Rey’s neck one last time.

 

“You okay, kiddo?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Okay...you go catch up with your dad, okay? I’ll see you before you know it.”

 

Rey pulled herself to stand, pulling her coat a little tighter around her body as she reached up and carried the solitary tear away from her eyelashes with a sniff.

 

They’d found a new sort of normal in the wake of what others would assume would have been a disaster. The coming apart of two passionate people, who used to be passionate about each other. There weren’t any knockdown, drag-out fights. No betrayal. Just the dwindling of a flame that they couldn’t seem to keep alight. 

 

Most of all, Rey wished for Ben to be happy. Their separation still weighed heavily on them both, she could see it in his eyes - that he had the same twinge of regret for not doing more when they should have.

 

Rey stuffed her hands in her pockets and lifted her face towards the sun as she headed across town.

 

She saw the memory of him on every block, smiling to herself as she remembered the first days after they’d met again after Armitage’s party when Fate (or, her ex-fiance) brought them so fortuitously back together. 

 

*

 

The time fell away, and Rey happily spent it ensconced in Ben’s arms, swaying back and forth to the music until, it too, had faded away. All the other guests had long hailed a taxi home, leaving them practically alone in the mammoth lobby of the gleaming skyscraper. 

 

Practically wordless after their evening of catching up on the years since they’d seen each other last, Ben looked down at Rey with an easy smile that was filled with so much more than she could possibly describe. He hooked his fingers through hers, and with a soft tug, pulled her out onto the sidewalk.

 

Rey let out a girlish giggle, lifting her face to the sky, her smile radiant in the softly falling snow. It danced on the light streaming down in muted yellow pools on the sidewalk, carpeting what used to be stained and soiled - painting it anew in a blanket of blinding white.

 

She always tried to live her life in the moment, moving forward than always looking into the past, but Ben was a chapter in her life that she could never quite shake. He was always there, always lingering in the back of her mind with a quiet “what if.” 

 

Now they were here, together in the quiet of the falling snow, covering them in its wintery blanket...giving them a chance for a fresh start, to make a new set of footprints over the old ones.

 

The symbolism that Mother Nature handed to her wasn’t lost on Rey as her smile faded away when she brought her gaze back to him.   

 

Like Persephone herself, Rey found herself drawn to him like a magnet, the promise of the pomegranate seeds she’d eaten pulling her back to him in a way she couldn’t explain. 

 

Ben slowly stepped forward from the shadows to join her in the glimmering pool of light, with the snow elegantly twirling around them like they were the centerpiece of a magnificent snow globe. 

 

Rey held her breath as she blinked up at him, chewing on her bottom lip as the delightfully charged silence stretched between them.

 

“So,” she breathed, closing her eyes against the snow that stuck to her eyelashes.

 

“So,” he answered, taking another slow step forward.

 

Just like on that first night they met, Rey felt like she was teetering on the edge of infinity, and all she needed was the smallest push to fall in head first...as long as it was with him. 

 

“What now, Hades?” Rey’s face melted into a hopeful smile as she echoed her own words. Words that felt like she’d said to him like it was only yesterday, “Are you going to lead me down into the underworld again?”

 

“No,” Ben growled, reaching up to curl his long fingers around the curve of her jaw, tilting her face up to meet his burning gaze, “I’d rather be on Earth, here with you, ‘Seph.”

 

Rey let out a soft gasp into the quiet night air as Ben drew closer to her, her thoughts swirling around like the flurry that surrounded them, thinking of every memory, and every possibility that the future - their future - held for them.

 

“I...I never thought I’d ever see you again,” Rey whispered, her eyelashes fluttering with each breathless gasp of air as Ben leisurely closed the space between them.

 

“But I did,” he quietly rumbled, leaning down to press a kiss as light as air to her lips. It was over as quickly as it began, leaving Rey reeling and hungry for more, “I always had a feeling that we’d find our way back to each other.”

 

Rey mourned the loss of the heat of his hand on her skin as soon as he pulled away with the hint of a lopsided smile that was so uniquely him, it made her heart ache in all the best ways to see it up close once more. 

 

“I’ll call you tomorrow, ‘Seph.”

 

Her heart thudded wildly in her chest as she watched him flip up the collar on his black, wool coat, giving her one last, brilliant smile before turning to walk down the block. She let out a long sigh, lifting her hands to card her fingers through her chestnut hair as the snow kissed her mouth where Ben’s had just been. Pressing her lips together to hang onto the feeling, Rey smiled to herself as she lifted a hand to hail a cab.

 

Ben did call, just as he said. 

 

They tried to take things slow...slower than they had before.

 

The pair of them met for the first time over a pizza, where Rey joyously got the native Chicagoan to admit that perhaps, New York style pizza had something special over Chicago deep dish.

 

While they tried to busy themselves between their dates where Rey showed him all of her favorite parts of the city, and all the reasons she loved it so much, they found it nearly impossible not to talk to each other throughout the day. Sending endless text messages and these new things called memes that Ben was overly fond of. 

 

Every day they spent apart started to feel like too many, and Rey found herself constantly counting the minutes until the next time they’d be together. 

 

Ben was so wonderfully patient with her, letting them get to know each other all over again before they fell into bed...something that she was sure they wouldn’t have forgotten how to succeed at effortlessly.

 

Rey wanted her wits about her, knowing full well that as soon as she fell down into that delicious, pleasurable abyss, she’d never want to come out and might find herself skipping over tiny details that her romantic past required to investigate.

 

That didn’t mean that they didn’t play.

 

More than once, on the coldest days of winter, when the bitter New York City cold would keep them from their plans, Rey would find herself curled up against Ben’s side as they watched backlogged episodes of The Bachelor, craving more warmth as each second ticked by.

 

Then, watching the ultra-cheesy romance unfold on the TV screen started to take a toll on Rey, who suddenly became overwhelmingly aware of the heat radiating from Ben’s body, and the consequences it had on the rest of her.  

 

Letting out a quiet sigh, Rey turned her gaze to his, serious and brooding as ever, as he reluctantly hung on every word of the rose ceremony, and without a second thought, Rey shifted in her seat and threw her leg over his lap.

 

Ben’s attention shifted immediately to her as she tangled her fingers in his hair, her eyes burning into his as his hands shifted up her back and beneath her sweater. She chewed her lip anxiously, looking over each line and every beauty mark on his alabaster skin.

 

“I love you,” she whispered before leaning down for a tender brush of her lips against his. Each second ticked by, Ben’s Brooklyn flat melted away, leaving only the two of them as every kiss grew hungrier, more demanding, filling them both with one wish...one desire that could only be met by one thing.

 

She melted into his touch as Ben coiled his arms around her waist and effortlessly lifted her from the sofa, blinding stumbling his way down the hallway to his bedroom as he stubbornly refused to release himself from her salacious kiss.

 

In a wild flurry of limbs and clothes, they fell into the feeling of their togetherness all over again, like not a single moment had gone by since the last time. 

 

They stayed there, nestled in the electric feeling of their reverent worship of each other’s bodies until the sun sank below the horizon, only to start all over again once the moon rose in the sky.  

Time moved forward fluidly, as it always did, bending and changing at the world shifted from season to season. 

 

The months flew by, and by the next winter, Rey had closed up her old apartment and found herself happily unpacking an endless array of UHAUL boxes in a stately townhouse in Brooklyn Heights. 

 

Their home. Their future.

 

Rey and Ben settled into the space, making it theirs in a way that no other home had been for her in her entire life. 

 

She had insisted at the moment that is was most certainly too big for only the two of them, but Ben had coiled his arms around her waist on the rooftop garden as they looked out towards the Brooklyn Bridge, laying a series of molten kisses against the column of her throat as he growled delectably in her ear.

 

“Then, we’ll fill it with a family, Sweetheart.”

 

Rey practically melted at his words with the flicker of what had always seemed was a far-off dream running through her mind with the image of a freckle-faced little girl who would hold her whole heart, turning around in his arms to kiss him with every ounce of love she had.

 

It was only a couple months later, as the pair of them strolled hand in hand beneath an umbrella in the shadow of the Brooklyn Bridge, happily wandering around Dumbo when Ben tugged her to stop and leaned down to press a lingering kiss against her lips.

 

Rey was positively breathless from the intensity of the kiss, and her knees went weak when he said something completely unexpected. 

 

“I have something of yours,” Ben smiled down at her, blindly fishing in his pocket.

 

“Oh?” Rey murmured softly, shifting her gaze with a soft gasp when he held the object out in his palm.

 

She recognized it in an instant, losing her breath as she reached out with trembling fingers to lift the glittering solitaire diamond ring from his hand. 

 

“You’ve had it this whole time?” she breathed, stepping closer to Ben beneath the umbrella as the gentle pitter-patter of the rain and the occasional taxi driving across wet pavement filled the quiet.

 

“I couldn’t seem to ever let it go, ‘Seph,” Ben hooked his finger beneath her chin and tilted her wide-eyed gaze to meet his, “What do you say? Do you want to give this another shot with me?”

 

They got married when summer returned in a small ceremony inside a restored industrial building in Long Island City. With the Manhattan skyline at their backs, they exchanged vows, promising forever and beyond.

 

It wasn’t much longer until the day came when Hanna arrived in their lives in a truly spectacular fashion, changing them in every way they never thought possible.

 

They filled up with love for her in an instant, and Rey’s heart ached with the overwhelming weight of it as she watched Ben cradle their daughter in his arms, his smile wider than she’d ever seen when Hanna wrapped her impossibly tiny, unexplainably perfectly pink fingers around his finger - crying with him when, he too, was overwhelmed with joy.

 

As the years passed by, Ben turned into the father Rey knew he would be...devoted to his little girl’s every happiness, kissing boo-boo’s when she tumbled to the floor as she learned how to walk, to putting band-aids on her knees when she fell to the pavement when she was learning how to ride her bike.

 

The two of them dedicated their entire selves to Hanna, loving her in all the ways they could, encouraging her love to read and explore, going on endless family adventures all over the island of Manhattan, and just...being together.

 

But, as time passed, little things began to slip through the cracks. Long hours and burgeoning careers in combination with their faithful and dutiful attention to their shared, one-true love, things began to shift between Ben and Rey.

 

It wasn’t always perfect, but they were happy as a family. Ben was her best and truest friend, her anchor in a port, her light in a storm, a constant for both her and Hanna. Over the years, they’d blended from lovers, to partners, to friends...and the need for something more started to ache in the silence that stretched between them - illuminating with a blinding spotlight that they’d forgotten to tend the garden of their particular brand of love, and had sown the seeds of their love to only Hanna instead.

 

They stayed together until after Hanna’s eighth birthday, and by that time, Rey had lined up a cozy apartment for the two of them in Manhattan, and her heart had never ached the way it did on the day when she and Ben sat down with her and broke the news.

 

She stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Ben at her door, listening to Hanna’s sobs with a broken heart of her own, and at the moment, her husband pulled her into his arms, crying tears of his own at the impossible guilt they felt for breaking their little girl’s heart.

 

For a split second, ensconced in his strong arms as she cried into his shirt, Rey wished they could go back and change what they could - for Hanna’s sake - but in her heart of hearts, they both knew it was too late.

 

As resilient as ever, Hanna settled into their new routine in glorious technicolor, flourishing in a way that Rey and Ben had hoped for, but never expected. 

 

She lived for every moment in her new home, tickled beyond belief that she lived in Manhattan, like her mom used to do when she’d first arrived in the city, and gloriously content at her new school - especially when it led to her mother telling the tale of how she’d met and fallen in love with her father.

 

After bidding Hanna and Ben farewell for the day, Rey found herself tucked into the corner of her sofa with a cozy blanket and her iPad propped up on her knees as she absentmindedly flipped through social media, reading far-out metas for her favorite sci-fi movie franchise when her thoughts shifted to something Hanna had said the night before.

 

_ Poor Poe. He’s like the character in the story who has always been the best friend...and once he realized that he didn’t want to just be the friend anymore, he wanted to be the boyfriend...except it was too late. _

 

Poe.

 

It would be a lie to say that she hadn’t thought of her former best friend from time to time over the last decade...and the memory of him was sharper than ever now that she had overturned every single old memory they shared.

 

With a quiet groan, Rey pulled herself from the sofa and strode down the hallway to her bedroom, reaching on her tiptoes to pull an old shoebox from the highest shelf in her closet. Holding it close to her heart, she stepped to the bed and sat down with it in her lap.

 

She held it with a featherlight touch, like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode, holding her breath as she pulled off the lid.

__

Tucked lovingly inside, between a pair of glittering Chrisitan Louboutins, was a little emerald box. Rey tucked her fingers around it, pulling it from the box with trembling hands to open the lid. Letting out a sigh, she traced the tip of her finger across the glittering emerald at the center of the ring, her heart aching that it had been in her possession for far too long. 

 

How much time was too much time to make things right?

 

After an anxiety inducing search on google and her fingers nearly chewed raw, Rey found herself in a rental car, driving the hour-long ride to Yonkers, where Dameron Aviation was.

 

Rey’s anxious energy grew to new, astounding heights as she turned the vehicle down a long driveway, past a  _ low flying aircraft  _ warning sign on the side of the road, and instantly spied the deep green airplane hangar at the end of the road.

 

She pulled in an empty parking spot next to a sleek, antique Corvette, painted orange and white with gleamingly bright whitewalls...and something in the deepest part of her heart knew it was his.

 

Rey stepped out of her car with a nervous sigh, pulling her bag over her shoulder as she wandered towards the building.

 

The hangar door was partially open, giving her just a glimpse of a restored World War Two fighter painted a sleek matte black with orange accents as she walked towards the office entrance. 

 

The door opened with a chime, and Rey centered her attention on the young man sitting behind the front desk.

 

“Hi, I’m looking for Poe Dameron?” Rey stuttered, fidgeting with the strap of her bag as she tried to slow the furious beating of her heart and tell her inner voice to shut up when suddenly, she heard his voice.

 

She looked up towards the end of a hallway where Poe was speaking animatedly with someone, an employee, she presumed, before clapping his hand on the man’s shoulder and lifting his gaze to meet hers.

 

He stopped in his tracks for a moment as a flurry of recognition flashed across his face.

 

Rey couldn’t help but notice the ways he changed, with streaks of glorious salt and pepper in his dark curls and smile lines around his eyes, but the same glint was there behind them, and the same, brilliant smile.

 

It was on full display as he strode over to her, instantly folding her into a hug before Rey knew what was happening. She was overwhelmed by the sudden, intoxicating wash of his smell as she unconsciously leaned into his touch, relishing in every infinitesimal second she was in his embrace. 

 

He shuffled her down the hall into his office, where Rey nervously tucked her feet beneath her chair and looked around every square inch with wild wonder. There were tiny, model planes tucked in every corner, an antique map of the globe on the wall, and in the far corner of a bookshelf, was a picture of her.

 

“So,” Poe grinned at her, impossibly relaxed in light of their unexpected reunion, “I gotta say, I never expected that you’d show up here. How’s things? Still smoking?”

 

“I quit, actually,” Rey smiled back at him, praying that her nervousness wouldn’t show.

 

“Me too...still living in New York?”

 

“I am,” she nodded, “Actually, I just moved back to Manhattan from Brooklyn. Still living in Chinatown?”

 

“Nope. I’ve got a place in the Bronx, actually.”

 

“That’s...that’s great. Not too far from here.”

 

“Nope. I still wanted to keep one foot in the city, you know?”

 

“Yeah...I hear you….dating?”

 

“Not at the moment,” his smile faded ever so slightly as he leaned back in his chair, “You?”

 

“I got divorced, actually.”

 

“I know,” he murmured with a soft sigh, “I heard. I’m so sorry.”

 

“Why?” Rey countered, “You always thought that marriage was overrated.”

 

“Yeah, and you never listened to me,” he laughed, “Always engaged to somebody, you were.”

 

“Is that...is that why you and Emily never?”

 

“Oh God, Emily,” Poe chuckled, reaching up to scrub his fingers against the trimmed salt and pepper beard on his face, “No. Emily...something always seemed to be missing there…I don’t know if I can explain it. It just never was  _ quite right _ , you know?”

 

“Yeah,” Rey breathed as she anxiously chewed on the edge of her bottom lip as the unspoken tension stretched between them, “It’s really good to see you, Poe.”

 

“You too, Sunshine.”

 

Rey took a deep breath, trying to center herself in some sort of calm as she reached into her bag and pulled out the who reason she came. She fiddled with it in her hands as she struggled to start.

 

“I...I have something for you,” she reached out and set it in the center of his desk, breathlessly watching his face as he lifted it into his hands and slowly opened the lid. 

 

Poe was quiet for a moment as he took the emerald ring from the box and tilted it to the side to read the inscription inside the band. He let out a soft sob and clapped his hand over his mouth, and at that moment, Rey knew that he realized it was the one he had been searching for.

 

“Thank you so much, Rey...this means...this means so much to me.” he murmured, lifting his tear-filled, dark eyes to meet hers, “W-where did you find it?” 

 

“That’s...that’s the difficult part to explain,” she whispered as her chest rapidly rose and fell with the anxious feeling that built in her aching heart, “This is going to sound bad...but I’ve had it for a while.”

 

His dark brows bent together in a furrow, “How long is a while?”

 

“Years,” Rey whispered, swallowing the growing lump in her throat as her guilt threatened to consume her, “Many years.”

 

She started to scramble as Poe’s face shifted into one of hurt and disappointment.

 

“I...I meant to….I meant to give it to you...I wanted to give it to you...I just...I couldn’t, and I don’t know why,” she nervously carded her fingers through her hair as Poe’s face darkened. He tucked the ring into his palm and held it against his heart with a heavy sigh, “I dropped it off once. I mean...I tried to. Emily was there...there’s no excuse, and I am so, so sorry.”

 

She ran her tongue over her lips, her chin trembling as he lifted his eyes back to her with a cold look in his eyes.

 

“It’s inexcusable, Rey. That’s what it is,” he turned his chair around, the ring still pressed to his heart.

 

“Poe?” Rey reached out, her voice trembling with the last flicker of hope she had.

 

“I think...I think you should go.”

 

*

 

“You never gave it to him?” Hanna’s hazel eyes were wide, and her little voice incredulous as they sat at the countertop with a box of Szechuan between them. Rey swore that the little girl nearly dropped her chopsticks when she told her that she had gone to see Poe and had foolishly hoped that it would have gone differently, “After all that time?”

 

“I know, I know…” Rey murmured as she absentmindedly poked around in her noodles.

 

“But it was from his mom!”

 

“I know…”

 

“And then you just left?”

 

“Yep.”

 

Hanna looked down into her dinner with a tiny scowl before lifting her gaze back to meet her mother’s.

 

“How come you changed all the names, except his?” the tenacious little girl inquired.

 

“What do you mean?” Rey countered, leaning forward onto the counter with her elbows.

 

“In the story, you know...like how Daddy became Kylo, and Armitage is that Thomas guy who works for that publishing company that makes Daddy’s books...but you didn’t change Poe’s name. Why?”

 

Rey let out a laugh, not sure if she should be stunned or proud that Hanna had thought so hard about it.

 

“Why are you so worried about this, anyway?”

 

“Because I want you to be happy, Mum,” Hanna shrugged.

 

“Hanna, I am happy,” Rey reached out and gave her daughter’s hand a squeeze.

 

Hanna looked up from her takeout and gave her mother a knowing look, wise beyond her eight years.

 

“Mom, trust me. You’re not happy. You need to call him. You need to fix it.”

 

“Hanna...this is going to go the way you think,” Rey pressed.

 

“He said that something was missing with Emily...what if that thing isn’t missing with you. What would it hurt to find out? You two deserve that much.”

 

Rey sat back in her seat, silently regarding the little girl who knew so much and felt so profoundly than she ever dreamed she would. Her heart ached when she thought of how things had gone with Poe, and she could help but wonder if Hanna was right.

 

What would it hurt to find out?

 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48981207962/in/dateposted/)


	11. (I take this) Magnetic Force of a Man (to be mine)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanna knew in her heart that they still loved each other in their own way, they just loved her more than they loved each other. Her Daddy insisted that he and her Mama had the greatest, biggest love that lasted through years and a million miles for them to find each other again like a fairytale. When Hanna was born, their love was so big, they split it up into pieces, and put it all into her - that’s why her heart was so big.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/48980463853/in/dateposted/)  
> 

“Wow,” Hanna breathed as she looked over Rey while she looked over her reflection in the full-length mirror in the corner of her bedroom, “Mum. You look  _ hot _ .”

“Gee, thanks,” Rey laughed, running her hands over the muted orange fabric that made the subtle, golden gleam of her skin more sublime. She reached up and pulled up the sweetheart neckline with a wiggle of her hips, shifting the subtle ruffle that hugged the outside curve of her shoulders.

She stepped into the cozy master bathroom, looking in the mirror to add a swipe of tinted lip balm across her lips as Hanna watched her, wide-eyed, from the doorway.

With a deep breath at her reflection, Rey turned on her heel to give Hanna a serious look.

“Okay. Your dad will be here in two hours to pick you up for the weekend.”

“Right. Got it. And?”

“And...be good for Nonna Maz until he gets here...and…”

“...and  _ ‘I love you, Hanna...you’re the greatest daughter in the whole wide world, Hanna...thank you for convincing me to call Poe, Hanna… _ ” the spunky little girl grinned up at Rey with her hands on her narrow hips.

“Right,” Rey laughed, her heart skipping a beat when the realization sunk in about what she was about to do, “Yes...all of those things, Hanna.”

She bent down, grasping her little girl’s freckled cheeks between her palms to press a swift kiss upon her forehead before striding out into the hallway.

Hanna bounded after her, Rey’s purse in her small hands and a thoughtful look on her face, “I’ll be around, you know...if you need a pep talk, or something, okay?”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Han,” Rey chuckled as she pulled her wool coat over her shoulders. She looked down at the freckle-faced little girl with a distant smile before reaching out to skirt her thumb across her cheek, “I love you, kiddo. See you soon, have fun with your dad, okay?”

“We always do, Mum,” Hanna grinned up at her, “Now go, or you’ll be late!”

With a wave and a kiss blown from her fingertips, Rey bounded out into the hallway to the elevator. Striding through the lobby to the street as soon as the doors slid open, Rey lifted her fingers into the air, smiling widely at her good fortune with a laugh when a bright yellow taxi pulled up almost immediately. 

Tucked into the backseat, she watched the city fly by outside her window with a sigh, feeling some odd combination between excitement and fear...but more than anything - she felt sure. 

 

Rey thought back to the moment a few days prior when Hanna had convinced her to reach out to Poe, and force him to give her a chance to explain herself...to explain why she’d kept the ring for as long as she did.

She knew it was wrong. The mere thought of it fueled the guilt that twisted her up from the inside and had kept her up at night since that day when the hurt in Poe’s face showed up in her most quiet moments to cause a vicious sting in her heart all over again.

Hanna sat across the countertop from Rey, her chin propped up on her hands as her elbows rested on the marble, lifting her hazel eyes to her mother expectantly. 

Rey stared down at the cellphone in her hand, her fingers trembling as she flipped through the old contacts list, praying that the number she had would still work.

“Come on, Mom...do it.”

“Hanna…”

“What’s there to lose? He’s already mad at you...it’s not like it can get much worse.”

“I...okay, you’re not wrong...but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to talk to me,” Rey countered, pressing her lips together into an anxious smile.

“It’s like I said...Poe said that something was missing with Emily...what if that thing she was missing was the fact that she wasn’t you?” Hanna excitedly shifted on her stool, tucking her feet beneath her bottom as she leaned forward over the counter, “Mum, did you stop to consider that...maybe you and Poe are the porgs in this story? You guys need your ‘ _ aaaaOOOOO _ ’ moment!”

“Hanna...people aren’t porgs…”

“So you say,” the little girl crossed her arms over her chest with a smug smile that was so like her dad’s that it elicited an instant laugh from Rey, “I’ll believe it when I see it...and you won’t know unless you try.”

Hanna looked at Rey with an anticipatory gaze, her eyebrows lifted behind the curtain of raven curls that hung over her forehead. She looked down at the device in Rey’s hands and back up as she silently prodded her mother to make a move.

“Fine,” Rey sighed, pressing the name on the touch screen with a sigh. She lifted it to her ear, chewing on the edge of her lip as it rang and rang.

Rey looked across the marble at Hanna, pursing her lips with a shrug. The little girl gave a little wiggle, and Rey knew she was jumping into action to find a way to fill the seconds until Poe answered, or it went to voicemail.

“Did you know that thirty-five people try to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge each year? Most of them are because of broken hearts…”

“Thanks, Han, I’ll keep that in mind,” Rey mumbled, lifting her eyes to the ceiling as the other line continued to ring until suddenly, the ringing stopped, and she let out a soft gasp.

“Hello?”

“Hey...hi...uh...it’s Rey.”

“What do you want?”

Rey’s stomach lurched at his abruptness, knowing right away that he still felt hurt over her keeping the ring for so long - and for good reason. 

“Uh…” she lifted her eyes to Hanna’s as she scrambled for her next thought.

“Go on, tell him!” Hanna exclaimed.

“Who’s that?” Poe questioned with an air of amused curiosity in his voice.

“Uh...that would be my daughter, Hanna,” Rey chewed her lip as she looked back at the little girl who nervously tucked her knees to her chest.

“That’s kind of cheating...isn’t it? Using your daughter to try and butter me up into talking with you? What am I supposed to do now?”

Rey smiled softly when she heard the laughter in his voice, using it to her advantage to press forward.

“You...you could meet me for dinner?”

The other end of the phone call went silent, and Rey swore that Poe had hung up on her. She pulled the device away from her ear and saw that the call was still connected, giving Hanna a shrug with a sad smile.

“I don’t think he’s going to say yes, Han.”

“I think you’re wrong,” the hazel-eyed little girl crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest.

“I’m gonna hang up.”

“No! Wait a little longer. He’s thinking..he’s gotta be thinking... _ really _ ...really quietly.”

“Here’s the deal, darling. I’m going to count to thirty. If he doesn’t answer, I’m going to hang up, and we will never talk about this ever again. Deal?”

“Fine,” Hanna huffed with a disappointed huff.

“Ready?”

“I suppose…”

“Okay.  _ One, two, three...four, five, six… _ ” Rey kept her eyes locked with Hanna’s from across the counter, her heart fluttering in her chest as each moment ticked by while she prayed for him to say something...even if it was no, “ _ fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen… _ .”

“Mum, you should tell him the story, just like you told me. Then he’ll know.”

“Know what?”

“I can’t explain it. He’ll just know.”

Rey nodded as she kept a steady count, the icy veins of disappointment coiling around her as the time fell away.

“ _...twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight… _ ” she lifted her gaze to Hanna’s, her breath hitching when she saw a crestfallen smile on her freckled face, “ _ Twenty-nine...twenty-nine and a half. Twenty-nine and three-quarters… _ ”

“What comes after that?” Hanna murmured softly.

“Time to hang up.”

“But...this wasn’t supposed to be what happened! I thought…”

“I know.”

“I thought he could at least hear us and interject or something and say, ‘what story’?” Hanna exclaimed, twisting a dark curl around her finger in frustration.

Rey’s stomach did a sudden somersault when Poe’s voice erupted through the line.

“What story?”

She froze on the spot, her hands trembling with anxious relief, nodding with a smile as Hanna waved her on, pointing at her bare ring finger.

“I...I kept the ring…”

“Yeah?” Poe countered.

“I kept it because it was the only thing I had left of you…”

 

*

 

Rey could hear the music streaming out from the club as the taxi pulled up to the curb, her heart swelling as she handed her fare to the driver and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

The sound of the Salsa music filled the air and immersed her in a vast sea of her memories. She’d picked this place for a reason...and hoped that Poe would remember their first night out in that very club.

She was a lot older than she was then, and so much wiser. 

Letting out a long sigh, Rey lifted her face towards the muted neon light, smiling to herself when she heard his unmistakable tenor from behind her.

“Wow.”

Turning on her heel, Rey couldn’t keep the beamingly bright smile from her face any longer once he was there in front of her. 

Poe reached for her with the soft lift of the corner of his mouth, letting his fingers linger on her waist for a moment as he kissed her swiftly on each cheek.

“You look,” he let his hands drift down her toned arms to hold her at arm's length to look her over thoroughly from top to bottom, “Wow, Sunshine...I... _ wow. _ ”

“Thanks,” Rey murmured, anxiously scrubbing the back of her neck with her fingers as she tried to keep her gaze centered on his dark eyes, “The first time we came here, you told me to put on my prettiest dress...so...you know. I put on my prettiest dress.”

“I remember...but it wasn’t like this.”

“I have a confession.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I bought this one special, just for today.”

“I’m honored, really. I love the color.”

Rey fidgeted with her hands, her focus completely scattered from the nervous anticipation she felt coursing through her with every frantic heartbeat. Like he knew exactly what she was thinking, Poe reached out for her and tangled his fingers with hers. He gave her an encouraging smile and pulled her alongside him.

“Stop. It’s just us. The same as it ever was,” Poe's eyes crinkled around the edges as he squeezed her hand, lifting a bit of the anxious weight from her shoulders as she chewed on her lip.

“It’s not, Poe. I...I don’t want it to be the same as it was,” Rey whispered. Poe’s face bent into a look of mild confusion, and for a moment, she was afraid that the cars driving down the street and the sound of music may have drowned her out, until it relaxed into a look she’d seen more often than she could count - the one she knew then held a flicker of love.

“Okay,” he echoed her hopefulness before pulling her with a smile into the club, “How about we dance away all this nervous energy, yeah?”

“I’d love to.”

A broad smile spread across her face, and Rey felt helplessly drawn to his aura of relaxed confidence that furled out as soon as they entered into the club. He looked over his shoulder with a sly grin, shouting out against the beat of the congas, “Do you still dance like a goat?”

“I thought I pranced like a duck?” Rey hollered back, letting out a laugh that quickly melted away as Poe pulled her to him with a fluid snap of his wrist. He coiled his arm around her waist and took another step closer. Her pulse skyrocketed at the sudden, intimate contact, and suddenly, all Rey could think about was his hands touching her in other places.

A frisson of electric goosebumps shivered down her arms as he leaned forward, and she felt the softness of his lips and his the scruff on his jaw brush against the curve of her ear. 

“I don’t care what you dance like, Rey...as long as I get to do it with you.”

 

They lost themselves to the rhythm of it, moving seamlessly together to the steady, delicious beat of the drums and horns, letting the time slip away with the swirls of colorful light. Poe’s hands, planted firmly around her, guided her every moment, and together, they carved a hole in the floor with their feet.

The club was packed from wall-to-wall, but to Rey, it was only the two of them, ensconced in the sound of the music and the beating of their hearts. 

Like the first time Poe had dragged her to that very club when they had first met, they were all smiles, grinning from dimple to elated dimple, but things were noticeably different than that first time. 

Before, they had merely been friends. She, the new girl in town, and Poe, her instantaneous best friend who was on a mission to cheer her up after an epically hard first day at work. Then, they danced joyously amongst a sea of couples who openly lusted after each other, and they two of them merely happy to be there and have their dancing fill them to the brim with a unique brand of joy.

 

Now, Rey could feel the weight of it, the change between them. So much had happened. There was an immense, complicated tapestry of their memories, most of them more significant to Rey than she had ever realized - not until it was too late for them...or so she thought.

With all the other fog of what had been a complicated love life cleared away, Rey saw it so clearly now, she thought she might be blinded by the sheer magnitude of her feelings for him. Feelings that had been pushed aside or subconsciously hidden from view at the time, and had all come back in potent waves when she’d told Hanna the story of how she’d fallen in love. 

 

Poe’s eyes burned into hers, shifting his gaze to the side as he pulled her more snugly against his chest and tickled the soft skin of her ear with his nose.

“Do you wanna get out of here? Go some place and talk?”

Rey reached up and slowly drew her fingers through the salt and pepper of his curly hair, letting out a soft sigh as she leaned into the feeling of him pressed up against her.

“Yeah...I’d love that. I know a place close-by.”

Together, they stepped to the front of the club, where Poe gingerly slipped her coat over her shoulders, letting his hands linger for only a moment before Rey turned around with a smile, and they stepped out into the crisp, evening autumn air.

 

They strode down the sidewalk, getting effortlessly caught up in their conversation as they made their way uptown. Poe told her how she had inspired him to finally reach for his dreams and get his pilot’s license, and how it led to him opening his own aviation company in the time since.

Rey’s heart surged with joy and pride for her friend, thrilled that he’d finally accomplished what she knew he had secretly wanted to do so badly. Still, it ached when the realization that she didn’t get to witness his ascension into the clouds the way she wished she could have had she done things differently.

Poe asked her about her family, listening intently with a soft smile as she spoke animatedly about Hanna. How smart she was, how funny she was, and how her life was almost perfect just because of her.

“Wait, you’re telling me that they were teaching sex-ed to third-graders? That’s...wow…”

“I know! I was pissed...but I’m weirdly thankful for it,” Rey wrung her hands as she looked up to meet his eyes as they strode, perfectly in step, down the block.

“Why’s that?”

“It...it led to her asking for me to tell her the story of how I met and fell in love with her dad.”

“Oh,” Poe’s smile flickered for a moment as his gaze flittered towards his feet, “Ben, right?”

“Yeah...but there was a whole lot more to the story.”

“I’m not exactly surprised, Sunshine. It’s not like you didn’t have the most uncomplicated love life…”

“That’s true, I’ll admit it...but...it kinda made me realize something,” Rey murmured, chewing on the edge of her bottom lip when his dark eyes met hers.

“What’s that?”

“Something about you. H-how badly I messed it up...and how much I want to fix it.”

The corners of Poe’s mouth lifted, crinkling the corners of his eyes when he reached out and stilled the nervous fidget of her hands.

Rey’s eyes flickered back and forth between his as he pulled her to a stop and took a slow step towards her, reaching up to brush a stray ribbon of hair from her face. Her heart raced, watching him with bated breath as he leisurely licked his lips, leaned in, and pressed a featherlight kiss to hers. 

Like an appetizer to a scrumptious feast waiting to be devoured, it left her reeling and ravenous for more. 

When he pulled away, Poe’s smile grew broader at the stunned look on her face as he lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss on her knuckles too.

“I know.”

 

Rey let out a breathless gasp with a stupid smile spreading slowly across her freckled face when he gave her a tug, and they resumed their journey down the sidewalk.

So wrapped up in their conversation, it felt like only moments had gone by when Rey stopped abruptly and looked at the gleaming doors of her own apartment building.

Letting out a breathy sigh, Rey pulled at her fingers as her teeth found the tender flesh of her bottom lip all over again.

“Can I...do you wanna come up for a cup of tea?”

“I like tea,” Poe grinned, reaching for her hand again, giving it a squeeze as she pulled him into the lobby.

The air between them was marvelously charged as they stood side-by-side in the elevator, watching the floors go by on the digital monitor as they traveled to the twenty-third floor. Rey could feel it sizzling, like a powder keg rigged to blow, and all they needed was to light the fuse.

Rey shivered as Poe trailed his fingers over the collar of her woolen coat as they walked down the hall, and she unlocked the door to her apartment with a jingle of the keys, leaning softly into his touch as she pushed open the door.

Once inside, Rey busied herself with hanging her belongings by the door and observing Poe as he slowly wandered from picture frame to picture frame while she brought the water to boil, and she swore she heard him murmur, “ _ She looks so much like you _ .”

 

Rey’s stomach did a wild flip as she clicked off the stove when the kettle began to whistle, stepping around the countertop with a racing pulse - leaving the tea completely forgotten behind her.

She met his gaze and gave him an anxious smile as her trembling hands pointed down the narrow hallway.

“I...I’m gonna go...I’ll be right back.”

With a long sigh and a grimace once her back was turned, Rey practically fled to her bedroom and quickly shut herself into the bathroom. She placed her palms against the cold marble countertop, thankful for the grounding effect it had on her as she lifted her eyes to her reflection.

Her cheeks were flushed a delicate rose that illuminated the smattering of freckles across her face. Rey squared her attention on her eyes, inspecting every fleck of gold tucked between the green and the brown, forcing herself to take a calming breath before her nerves got the best of her.

This was Poe. This was her. Something familiar and altogether terrifyingly new at the same time. 

Rey felt like they were on the precipice, on the edge of something that had the potential to be the biggest thing in her life. Part of her always knew that he was, but, like he had told her before...maybe they hadn't been ready for it until now.

She reached up and brushed her fingers through her hair, pulling the pins from her bun to let the chestnut waves fall free around her shoulders, letting out one last long breath before reaching for the door. 

 

With a soft gasp, Rey stopped in her tracks as soon as the dim light from the bathroom spilled across the room and landed on the figure standing in the doorway.

Poe stood, as casually cool as ever, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe. Like he knew exactly what she was thinking, he stepped forward and let his eyes wander over her lithe body and the way her dress hugged every inch of her in all the right ways. 

When his eyes got back to hers, he let out a sigh and rolled his bottom lip between his teeth in a way that lit her flesh aflame with a delectable feeling that Rey longed to explore. 

With the tips of his fingers, Poe reached up and trailed them along the curve of her jaw.

“So. Who talks first?”

Rey let out a stuttering gasp, making the decision in an instant while they curiously stared at each other as the delectable strand of tension that was strung between them flared in an electrifying way.

Poe met her in the center of the room, tangling his fingers in her hair as he possessively drew his mouth to hers, devouring the desperate whimper that spilled from her lips. He fervidly claimed her with his tongue, twining it with hers in a kiss so deep, Rey thought she could drown in the way it made her feel and die a happy death.

Rey’s hands tugged at his crip jacket, shirking it over his shoulders to blindly toss it to the floor so she could busy her fingers with the buttons on his shirt as Poe dexterously kissed her in a way that made her see stars.

What a feeling to be caught up in without the frenzy of each other, without everything else that held her back before, or the veil of drunkenness that only filled her with regret for what she’d done to Poe the next morning. 

All she knew at that moment was that she wanted to, no,  _ had to _ remember every moment and commit every divine feeling to memory.

With every pass of his lips over hers, Rey thought that she might either melt or combust from the sheer ferocity of it all, melting into his touch with an impossible hunger that could only be sated by one thing.    

Rey reached down and tugged the hem of his shirt from his trousers, pausing for a moment once her fingertips brushed the olive skin on his chest. 

She pulled away, letting out a quiet sigh as she blinked up at him through her lashes.

“Are...are you sure? Is it too soon?”

“Rey,” Poe cupped the curve of her jaw, his face sober as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her waiting lips, whispering against them, “It’s been a decade. We’ve waited long enough.”

They fell back into the rhythm of their kiss, following every cursive line of the twining of their tongues and the wandering of their hands as more of their clothing fell haphazardly to the floor, leaving more skin for the other to explore.

Poe pulled away, leaving Rey breathless as his dark eyes, hooded and heavy with desire, burned into her.

“Turn around.”

Weak in the knees already, Rey kept her eyes on his as long as she could as she slowly turned in a circle and breathlessly waited for his next move. Her breath hitched when the scorching touch of his hot mouth, combined with the shiver-inducing feeling of his beard, brushed against the freckled flesh of her shoulder. 

Poe mapped the elegant line of her throat as his fingers grasped the metal pull-tab of her dress, leisurely drawing it down the curve of her back, leaving more of her exposed for him to lovingly explore.

Rey trembled, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth to quell the mewl that threatened to escape her as Poe drew his heated touch over her skin, unhurriedly coaxing the snug fabric down the long line of her lithe body.  

A coquettish grin curled up from the corners of her mouth when she heard him groan and felt his touch trace the white lace that followed the curve of her ass. She slowly turned around to face him, drawing her fingers over the peaks and valleys of his collar bones before leaning in to kiss him all over again. 

Poe wound his arms around her waist, drawing them together, his kiss persistent and unyielding as they stumbled over their clothing towards her bed, holding her close as he lowered her to the mattress.

Rey practically purred as Poe’s mouth began to wander, leaving a trail of molten kissed down the column of her throat, down to the peaks and valleys of her breasts, and over the taut skin of her stomach. He peppered every inch of her with his mouth, stopping for a moment to huskily murmur in Spanish, “Voy a devorarte.”

_ I’m going to eat you up. _

Rey didn’t care what he said, all she knew was she wanted more and more of each intoxicating touch, and to lose herself in the feeling of his mouth upon her skin.

Poe drew himself up onto his knees, grasping the inside of her thigh with a sly smile as he trailed a line of scorching kisses there too, lifting her leg with each one until her ankle rested on his shoulder.

“Did you not think I was going to notice this?” he teased, running the edge of his thumb along the black seam that ran down the back of her thigh to her ankle.

“I told you I went shopping for tonight...I had...I hoped...mmm,” Rey purred, her head rolling back onto the mattress as Poe reached out and coiled the hem of her stocking around his fingers and languidly drew the gossamer fabric down her leg, following each inch of newly exposed flesh with another molten kiss.

He repeated the tender ministrations on the other leg, taking his time to pull her stocking away and explore as much of her as he could at a deliciously unhurried pace. 

Drawing himself back up to her mouth, Poe captured it for another breathless kiss that left her reeling when he ventured south again.

His hands wandered over her skin while his skillful mouth was occupied, covering every part of her, claiming every trace of her with _him_. 

 

Poe began to murmur to her softly between kisses, drawing himself back towards her mouth to brush her lips with another kiss - drawn to the taste of her like a thirsty man desired water in the desert. 

“Eres mi todo.”

_ You’re my everything. _

 

“No puedo vivir sin ti.”

_ I can’t live without you. _

 

“¿Te casarás conmigo?”

Rey lifted her head from the blankets at his question, only to be silenced by the palm of Poe’s hands pressing her into the mattress as his mouth wandered down towards her sex, leaving a trail of electrifying goosebumps in his wake.

He interlaced his fingers with the delicate lace of her panties and peeled them down her thighs to discard them on the floor with everything else.

“Poe,” Rey breathed as she tried to sit up and draw him back up to her mouth, hungry for more of his kisses that made the heat curl up from deep in her belly down to her toes, “I...I want you.  _ Please. _ ”

“Patience,  _ mi corazon _ . We were in a hurry the last time this happened, and I plan on savoring every second,” Poe hummed as he leisurely trailed a tender finger against her center. Rey’s back arched up from the bed at the sudden, delicious contact. She breathed out a low hum reaching out to fist his dark curls between her fingers as he teased her, trailing his mouth over the supple flesh of her thighs - everywhere but where she so desperately wanted him to be. 

Rey thought she might go crazy from the wait, squirming wildly with every elongated kiss - until he gave her exactly what she craved.      

She cried out when he finally put his dexterous mouth to her cunt, enthusiastically lapping at her clit in ways Rey never thought would be humanly possible...until it got better when he continued to speak to her.

“ _ Sabes tan bien en mi boca,” _ Poe hummed against her, sending her body positively thrumming from end to end as he continued with a delicious roll of his tongue, “ _ Eres delicioso, mi dio _ .”

Rey felt like she was buzzing, caught in the divine spell he cast over her as he sank a finger into her cunt, slowly hooking it upwards to draw a fragile keen from her lips. He leisurely pumped into her, slipping a second finger inside, and Rey swore she could feel his cocky grin against her sex as he continued to roll his tongue over her clit over and over.

“ _ Ven para mi, mi amor _ ,” Poe purred as he pressed on with his movements, rocking his hand back and forth into her soaked folds while she writhed beneath him. Rey groaned as her body suddenly went rigid, fisting the comforter at her back as she toppled over the precipice and quietly reveled in her oblivion.

She blindly reached for Poe, pulled herself to sit as he still knelt between her knees and leisurely sucked her arousal from his fingers one by one.     

Rey pulled him to her, devouring his mouth with a heated fervor as her hunger for him reached new heights, wishing to be filled to the brim with him, to feel him move inside her, and have them become one in the way they were always meant to be.

Poe reached around, fisting her hair in his hand to guide her as he kissed her soundly until Rey was putty in his hands, moving with him as he reached down and pulled her into his lap. His mouth wandered down the long line of her throat, pulling quiet whimpers and breathless sighs with each exquisite kiss he left behind.

Rey balanced her palms on his muscular shoulders, silently marveling at the beauty of his body as he lifted her and reached between them to tease her entrance with the tip of his cock. Their eyes met with a silent question, wondering if this was what they truly wanted, as if they hadn’t gone too far already - but Rey already knew the answer.

She lifted her hands and traced her fingertips across the soft hair as his temple, looking over every line that had worn into his tanned skin over time, framing his dark eyes and the edge of his smile. They lingered around the curve of his mouth, trailing over the bend of his perfect cupid’s bow for a moment before leaning down to give him her response - capturing his mouth in a searing kiss as she sank down with his guidance - sheathing himself to the hilt with a quiet groan.

With Poe’s hands firmly gripping the curve of her hips, her arms wrapped up in his hair, and their bare chests pressed together so firmly that the beating her heart was in tune with his, Rey slowly rolled her hips with a trembling sigh. She pressed her forehead to his shoulder with a feathery mewl as he stretched her, taking his time with each languid thrust. 

His dark eyes burned into hers, heavy-lidded and focused, as he watched her every reaction. Every hitch of her breath and every subtle bend of her brows while her body reacted in time to his movements - and every sensation was that much more intense because of it.

 

Their lovemaking was unhurried and slow, like they were making up for every ounce of lost time that had blown away in the New York City wind, lost to the lingering lost years that neither of them was really ever able to shake. 

Rey centered herself in the feeling, sucking in a shaky, emotional breath when the gravity of what was happening settled in her soul, and her subsequent joy because of it. There was so much that had happened, so many things she wanted to make up for, but here and now, all she wanted to do was love him in all the ways they were destined to be.            

No matter how much her heart ached for all the ways she’d hurt him, Rey knew it had to happen this way. With any other choice, her life would look drastically different, and she wouldn’t have the thing that was the most precious to her - Hanna.

Rey wrapped her arms around Poe’s shoulders and pulled herself closer, centering herself in the heady trace they were wrapped up in. With each moment that passed and every beat of her heart that grew steadier by the second, Rey wished to stay wrapped up in him forever. Forever with the man who’d always been there for her, without fail, without strings, without betrayal. She knew she could trust him, and she’d thrown him away more times than she could count, and none of them what he deserved. 

She wasn’t sure if she ever could be worthy of him, of his steady heart and enduring love, but Rey so desperately wanted to try. She wanted to be at home in the center of his gaze, run her fingers over his olive skin, and know she’d be safe. She’d be loved, and feel more whole once she was by his side.

In all her wildest dreams, Rey never would have imagined that the man that she met by chance over and over again, who'd made a permanent mark on her like a handprint on her heart, would be the one she had wished for her entire life. She’d realized once it was too late, and she had to let it go free - Fate demanded that she did. 

But after all the hurt and the years that had gone by, she didn’t imagine that his love would ever find a way back to her, and she’d be eternally grateful because of that.     

Like he knew what she was thinking, Poe circled his arms around her tighter still, pulling her into a lingering kiss that was filled with every thought, every feeling, and every ounce of love that he’d held like an eternal flame throughout the years, flickering through her periods of darkness like a beacon in the night.

He pulled away and drew his thumb along the seam of her mouth, whispering into the quiet, “Te amé desde el primer momento en que te vi.”

_ I loved you from the first moment I saw you. _

With a broken sigh, Rey brushed her fingers over his face, pressing a delicate kiss to his lips before answering, “I love you, too. For so long. I’m so sorry it took me so long to figure it out.”

 

Poe let out a melodious hum, capturing her mouth again as her admission of love spurred him on to express his to her with his body, rocking his hip in time with hers, sending an intoxicating and euphoric blend of pleasure and love as they came to their shared peak. Rey tore herself away from their kiss for long enough to lose herself in Poe’s heady gaze, letting the ghost of a smile curl up from the corners of her mouth behind the mask of delirious ecstasy she wore.  

With a mournful keen from Rey and a lusty growl from her lover, they tumbled over the edge - together. 

Peppering her face with breathless kisses, Poe held Rey firmly as he slowly leaned her down onto the mattress, settling his body alongside her as he lovingly trailed his fingers down her freckled cheek with a smile.

Rey settled herself in the curve of his shoulder, letting out a contented hum as they basked in the heady bliss they’d created together.

She lazily traced her fingers over the soft, olive skin of his chest, letting out a soft sigh as her eyes began to grow heavier with each passing second. 

With Hanna’s help, it suddenly became clear her relationship with Poe was like the bits sky peeking through heavy clouds after a storm. His love - their love - had the potential to be as wide and encompassing as the blue sky over Manhattan. It had just taken a while for her to notice and appreciate the beauty of the sky once the storm passed. With him there beside her, their future was sprawled out before them - the skies were clear, and Rey could see for miles. 

 

***

 

There were a few things that Hanna Solo knew for sure. Firstly, pineapple had no place on pizza. She was a New York City girl, and the only thing that was supposed to be on a pie was fresh sauce and the ooiest, gooiest cheese. Secondly, she had the greatest dad in the whole entire galaxy, and there was nothing anyone could say that would ever,  _ ever _ change her mind of that fact.

She had spent the last couple weeks lounging around at his house in Brooklyn, eating leftover Christmas mashed potatoes that her Papa Han had made, and watching the greatest movies ever made with her Daddy.

Hanna was happily tucked up against his side with his heavy arm wrapped around her like a blanket. She watched, her hazel eyes wide, as the supposed “bad guy” and the heroine teamed up to fight an army of guards with their awesome lightsabers.

“Is Kylo Ren a good guy, Daddy?” Hanna murmured as she popped a kernel of popcorn into her mouth like she was moving in slow-motion, transfixed on the movie she’d seen at least twenty times by then.

“I...uh...I like to think so, Sweetheart. If you wanna think he’s a good guy, then sure. He’s the good guy,” Ben drawled, bending down to press a kiss into her dark curls, eliciting an instantaneous smile from the little girl.

“Okay, good. Then him and Kira should really stop fighting each other and get married and stuff,” Hanna answered, stuffing more popcorn in her mouth as her father choked on a sip of his beer.

“I guess we’ll find out in Episode Nine, now won’t we? But, we might want to cool it on the whole good guys and bad guys getting married. I’m not even sure if your mom wants you watching these.”

“How come?” Hanna looked up at her dad, who she could tell couldn't resist the wide-eyed look she gave him, “I _am_  nine now, Daddy. Plus, Kira kicks ass, and I bet Mum would appreciate that...a...a strong hero lady. You know, she sets a good example.”

“You might be right about that, kiddo,” Ben gave her a squeeze, and they returned to their movie as he rumbled into her dark hair with a laugh, “Your mom will have my ass if she hears you talk like that.”

Hanna cherished every second she got with her dad, just the two of them. She was probably the luckiest little girl in the entire world, with two amazing parents who loved her so much, they stop being married so that she would be loved all the more. 

She knew in her heart that they still loved each other in their own way, they just loved her more than they loved each other. Her Daddy insisted that he and her Mama had the greatest, biggest love that lasted through years and a million miles for them to find each other again like a fairytale. When Hanna was born, their love was so big, they split it up into pieces, and put it all into her - that’s why her heart was so big.

The blue lettering of the credits began to scroll up the screen just in time for the doorbell to ring, and part of Hanna’s heart sank when she realized her Christmas vacation with her dad had come to an end. Still, her love for her mom made the other half of her heart overjoyed to spend the rest of her holiday away from school with her in Manhattan.

Hanna pushed herself up from her perch on the couch next to Ben, giggling when he wrapped his arms around her and tossed her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes to stride into the foyer to answer the door.

Ben pulled the door open, letting out a boyish laugh as Hanna giggle incessantly from behind him as he played it totally casually.

“Oh, hey. Fancy meeting you here, Rey. What brings you to the neighborhood?” 

“Good morning, I...I heard that there’s a real swell selection of little girls around these parts, especially this time of year. Know where I can find one?” Rey mused with a laugh as the three of them stood in the foyer.

“You know, I swear I had one laying around here someplace,” Ben spun around on his heel, sending Hanna’s dark curls floating in the wind they created as he pretended to look around the room through her wild peals of laughter, “Now where did I put her?”    

“I’m here! I’m here!” Hanna squealed, pounding on his broad back with her tiny fists until he gave in and slid her back down to her feet.

“Hi Mum,” Hanna ran to Rey’s arms and closed her eyes when she was centered in the warmth and comfort of her arms, even if she’d carried a bit of snow on her wool coat in from outside.

“Hi darling,” Rey carded her fingers through Hanna’s hair as she smiled down at her, “Why don’t you get your things from upstairs? I need to talk to your dad alone for a moment.”

Hanna gave Rey a quizzical stare before Ben gave her an encouraging nod that sent her bounding up the two flights of stairs. Lucky for her, the stairwell looked down to the foyer from the top floor, and if she was quiet enough, she could hear what they were saying.

With her freckled cheeks pressed between the wooden dowels, Hanna peeked down and looked upon the faint view she had of her parents as they talked.

“So, things are going good between you two, I take it?” Ben inquired, his shoulders hunched over with his hands stuffed into his pockets.

“Yeah...they are…really good, actually,” Rey answered, “I’ve wanted to keep you in the loop and make sure you’re comfortable with it before he meets Hanna.”

“She knows, though, right?”

“Yeah, she does. She seemed...excited? Han’s been asking about meeting him for a while, and I thought that tonight might be a good excuse. You know, now that the holidays are over and she’s going to head back to school soon. I just...I didn’t want to disrupt anything for her.”

“I...I appreciate that. Thanks, ‘Seph,” Ben murmured, and Hanna swore she could hear the smile in his deep voice, “I’m really pleased for you, you know. I want you to be happy...more than anything.”

“Me too, Ben.”

There was a beat of charged silence where Hanna held her breath, unsure of what was going to happen next until her Daddy’s voice boomed up the stairwell and made her jump.

“Hanna Rose! You can stop eavesdropping now and get your little butt down here, so you and Mom don’t miss the train!”

With her bag over her shoulder, Hanna waved goodbye to her stuffed animals and bounded back down the stairs to the foyer, where both of her parents were waiting with amused smiles.

She ran forward and scooped them both up in a group hug, humming quietly with her hazel eyes crammed closed.

“I love you guys three-thousand.”

“We love you too, kiddo,” Ben rumbled, pulling away from the hug to wrap Hanna up in his strong arms to give her a breathtaking squeeze, “You be good for your mom, okay?”

“Only the best, Dad,” Hanna grinned with her arms wrapped around his neck, planting a kiss on his cheek before he released her to put on her coat.

Once she was fully bundled, with one more hug for the road, Hanna and Rey stepped down the stoop of the corner brownstone in Brooklyn and made their way to the Subway.

 

They chatted animatedly about Christmas dinner with Nana Leia and Papa Han coming to visit and making the biggest spread of food imaginable, and the quiet New Year's Eve Hanna had happily spent with her dad.

“He even let me stay up until midnight and gave me a kiss on the cheek for good luck!” Hanna exclaimed as they strode the final few steps down the hallway of their Lennox Hill apartment back in Manhattan.

“That sounds wonderful, Han. I’m so happy you had a good time,” Rey murmured as they stepped up to the door, pausing as she reached for the door, her brows bending into a confused smile at the odd look on Hanna’s face, “What is it?”

“What’s that smell, Mother?” the plucky nine-year-old interrogated, lifting her nose to the air with a smile, “Is there food being cooked inside our apartment? Is that... _ pancakes _ ?”

A slow smile spread across Rey’s freckled face as she slowly turned the handle and pushed open the door to let more of the smell waft out into the hallway.

“I brought in a specialist,” Rey grinned, watching Hanna’s eyes widen as she stepped over the threshold.

 

Hanna’s eyes grew when she stepped around the corner into the kitchen, and she saw that a man was standing in their kitchen, singing softly as he flipped a golden brown pancake on a griddle. A great big smile spread across his tanned face when his eyes met hers. He stepped around the counter, dusting off his tanned hands with a laugh as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“You must be Hanna,” he beamed, reaching out a hand to take hers.

Hanna looked from his proffered hand to his face, so smiley and friendly and all the things that told her that he was a good guy...maybe even a great guy.

“You must be Poe,” the sprightly little girl echoed with a narrowing of her hazel eyes, silently judging him in the scathing way only a nine-year-old would be able to do. 

Somehow, Poe survived their first encounter completely unphased, and here Hanna thought that she had been stone cold and maybe even a little bit scary for their first impression. 

She’d heard so much about him from the story Rey told her what felt like forever ago, and then again in the aftermath when Hanna pushed Rey to make amends with her old friend who she was clearly, at least to Hanna, completely and totally in love with.

Hanna was thrilled when Rey sat her down and told her that things were going well with the pilot, who also had a really super cool car and a cat named Bebe. She’d wondered when she would finally get to meet him and was honestly a little disappointed that it had taken so long.   

She watched the two of them throughout breakfast, taking mental note of the way Rey touched his hand and the crinkle of his eyes at the corners when he smiled at her. 

Hanna followed them towards the kitchen as they cleaned up from brunch, rinsing the dishes as they whispered to each other with the hint of secret smiles, and she even swore she saw Poe sneak in to give Rey a kiss when he thought she wasn’t looking.

There were so many little signs, so many pieces of evidence of the subtle ways that her mother had changed in the last couple months, that Hanna knew in her heart that Rey was finally, truly, happy...and Hanna couldn’t be happier about it.

 

She folded her arms on the countertop and leaned forward with a serious look on her face when she abruptly cleared her throat.

The attention of the adults instantly shifted her way, and they stepped forward with their lingering smiles with Poe’s arm draped around Rey’s waist.

“What’s up, Sweetheart?” Rey pressed, her curiosity piqued.

“I have a question,” Hanna stated, her little freckled face serious as she looked past her mother to Poe, “ _ For him _ .”

“Shoot, kiddo. I’m an open book,” Poe answered with a smile.

“Alright, Coffee Guy. Riddle me this...what exactly are your intentions with my mother?” Hanna tried to suppress her giggles at the instantaneous look of bewilderment that crossed Poe’s dark features. 

“I love her.”

“And?”

“And I love her,” Poe shrugged, “I plan to do that for the rest of forever.”

“Forever is a long time, Poe,” Hanna countered, pulling a barking laugh from the pilot.

“I’m aware of that.”

“So...does she have that thing that Emily didn’t?”

Poe opened his mouth and stopped to turn his gaze to Rey, who was waiting with an expression of amusement that faded into something more serious. He reached for her and brushed the pad of his thumb across her cheek.

“She does. In spades.”

“Good. So when are you going to give her that ring?”

 

Poe let out another laugh, but this one was filled to the brim with a jolt of breathless anxiety. His dark eyes shifted from Rey and settled on Hanna with a determined grin.

“Do I have your blessing, then?”

Hanna giggled, her freckled face bursting into a wide, toothy smile.

“Yeah!”

“Good…” Poe turned his attention towards Rey, who stood shell-shocked in the kitchen.

“What is happening here?” Rey cried out, her face blushing a soft pink as Poe reached for her hand, sank to a single knee, and pulled a green velvet box from his pocket, “What are you doing?”

“Quiet, Mum! Let the poor man talk!” Hanna chimed in.

“Rey, I’ve put a lot of thought into this...probably a little too much...fifteen years of too much...but, after everything, I know this one thing to be true. I love you. I want to marry you. I want to marry you because you are the happiness of my life. The smile on my lips. The beat of my heart. I feel more alive whenever I look at you, and your smile gives me light. I knew that I would fall for you from the first moment I saw you, and I’ve loved you every moment since. So please,  _ marry me _ .”

There was a beat of charged silence as Rey stood breathlessly, staring down at Poe, who beamed up at her from his knee. It was broken in an instant by a single whisper that came from Hanna -

 

“ _ Say yes _ .”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sitting here for a few minutes, trying to decide what to say. I've finished other pieces before...but not one quite as dear to my heart as little Hanna Solo and her incredible family.
> 
> I'll admit, I feel a little sad, but so so happy when I look back on this amazing adventure we've all been on. I have enjoyed each ounce of speculation more than you can possibly imagine.
> 
> I hope to see you all again on other projects (my main canonverse fic is getting finished next month!)  
> Em, thank you for the idea of Poe's Spanish love language, and Marissa, thank you for helping me get it just right.  
> Brownie, thank you for being such an amazing friend. Your enthusiasm and love get me through the slumps when I'm am doubting myself. I'll forever be thankful for this fic because it brought us together!  
> And BECCA. This whole thing was your brainchild and I love it more than I can possibly begin to describe. I'm gonna miss this so much, but I look forward to fulfilling your other requests. <3
> 
> THANK YOU to you all for reading so loyally, leaving love and comments. I am eternally grateful to you all. xoxo kb

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a quickie, but I am SO excited to write it and hear ALLLL your predictions as we go along! Keep an eye out for a playlist coming up! There may or may not be some clues in there!


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